Equality=not for me

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And I suggest that you bend over and take it(hint!hint!).

Those days never existed, my friend. Men have always been larger and stronger due to biology as humans are not spiders.





Look kid, I have no interest in hooking up with Minangkabau women anyway. So that's a moot point..

I suggest getting abducted by aliens that will probe your anus.

I find it so similar, I seem to have an aggressive personality too, which fuels this drive to be dominant. I don't what to do either. Coming on to strong comes to mind too

How about you STFU, drop them drawls, and give me some ass instead?

There's nothing wrong with being dominant. And some people look for a partner who is more dominant than they are.

But I wouldn't say that a relationship should be 'unequal'. I've been more dominant in personality than a partner, and also the opposite way round, but I'd still say we had an equal relationship. I'd still say it's important that if your partner has any needs or concerns, they aren't dismissed as being 'inferior' to yours. Respect and trust can still exist in a relationship with one more dominant partner.

I can relate a lot to this

Being disrespected by a lot of people in my life has made me prefer to have the upper hand position in my relationships too. I seem to see most situations in life as a win or lose type of thing.

i don't feel like i understand what you mean by dominant. do you want someone who will acquiesce to you in arguments? someone who will not argue with you? someone who doesn't speak up for herself in public? someone who lets you make the decisions? or what?

My view of dominance doesn't imply a lack of respect or lack of empathy. Her needs & concerns matter as much as mine do.

@Hyperlexian: What I mean by dominance is kind of hard to describe, but it doesn't mean that she acquiesces in disputes or who will never argue, nor does it mean someone who won't stick up for herself. But to some extent is does mean I make (most of)the decisions.
Honestly, I have no idea what a truly egalitarian relationship is actually like because my parents who have been married 40 years seem to have a solid relationship where my mom is ultimately the one in charge. But honestly, I don't think I would do well with a spouse who is like my mom.

sorry to dive in. your spouse doesn't have to be ultimately in charge, neither of you. what's wrong with working together?

I have an excellent youtube link for this that I posted in a different forum. Unfortunately, a certain moderator didn't find it funny or see it as WP-appropriate and deleted my post. Let's just say it was a nice piece of ass!

In theory, there is nothing wrong with it whatsoever. But I honestly don't really know how to relate to others that way and when I work together with at least 1+ persons, either they take charge or I do. I have no experience with that kind of relationship I'm afraid.

Now if I tried to impose this on someone who was unwilling, that wouldn't be fair or right and they'd most likely leave me. So if I were to have my way with this, it would be with someone who is agreeable to it.

Here's a thought: How much money do you have? There are women of a more traditional bent who actually like the idea of becoming a housewife, doing the requisite chores, homeschooling the kids, etc. The only thing "in charge" about them is that they run a house like a well-oiled machine. Only thing is if you come home and want to do stuff, like help out or something, you just end up getting in the way.

There is a type of woman I've had relationships with in the past, and that's the "gold-digger." In my experience, this type of woman is perfectly content to do whatever I want to do as long as it keeps her entertained. The problem I've had with the gold-digging maneater is that I ended up having to one-up myself every time we went out. Sitting around in the living room making out all Saturday afternoon is not this girl's idea of fun, and I just don't have the kind of energy to hop from one fancy restaurant to another or from one bar to another or plan random trips to New Orleans or Disney World. The level of intensity has to constantly increase as does the amount of money spent.

You come out better putting an ad on Craigslist asking for a personal assistant. If the money is good, there might be some women out there perfectly willing to follow you around and do everything you say and be easy on the eyes for the duration.

An acquaintance of mine does business by following two rules, the first of which is "It's all about the honey and the money."

(The second, in case you're wondering, is never, EVER reward bad behavior)

Like people have said, this is unhealthy. Wanting some level of control is fine. NEEDING and demanding it, especially out of some strange form of ressentiment is not. Find a better therapist, one who doesn't just throw their arms up when they aren't sure what to say.