billiscool wrote:
Kjas wrote:
billiscool wrote:
now lets throw the whole ''are men nicer to asperger people than women'' men and women are both cool to some degree.
but the truth is there are many aspie men who struggle to form any relationship with women and there are many aspie women who struggle to form any friendship with women.
now the aspie men and women who can't related to women at all. are they the problem are they just too f---ck up for women or are the women the problem. and for aspie women who can relate to men well and not to women, do they not understand social skills with only women. If they can talk to men,well what stopping them from forming close female friendship?
same with aspie men who can't get date but can get male friends. are they just f--ck up or the women the problem.
so what is it then..... are some aspie folks just not capable being with women in either relationship or friendship.
I'm not sure I believe that as quite a few of the guys I know on and off this site with AS actually have many more NT female friends than male NT friends. It's always been that way for them throughout most of their lives.
Many of them may have a problem when it comes to dating and relationships, but most of us struggle with that stuff since there is much less room for errors in that department.
I do have NT women who are friends, but what they have in common is that all of them are extremely direct, as are all of my male friends. It comes down to personality at the end of the day. Some cultures are more direct than others, which makes things easier. It is socially more acceptable for men to be direct also, women tend to be conditioned out of it if possible in many places. I'm not really seeing any of this being taken into account in you theory.
are talking about straight aspie men or gay aspie men. because gay men tend to have more female friends than male friends.
Here is a credible source on aspie friendships in women:
http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php ... Itemid=720Quote:
There may be single but intense friendships with another girl, who may provide guidance for her in social situations, perhaps in a benevolent way and in return, the girl with Asperger's syndrome is not interested in the 'bitchy' behaviour of her peers and is a loyal and helpful friend. Unfortunately, sometimes the girl who has Asperger's syndrome is vulnerable to friendship predators who take advantage of her naivety, social immaturity and longing to have a friend. Inevitably there will be times when she has to engage with other children and she may prefer to play with boys, whose play is more constructive than emotional and adventurous rather than conversational. Many girls and women who have Asperger's syndrome have described to clinicians and in autobiographies how they sometimes think they have a male rather than a female brain, having a greater understanding and appreciation of the interests, thinking and humour of boys. The girl who has Asperger's syndrome can be described as a 'Tom Boy' eager to join in the activities and conversations of boys rather than girls.
and men:
http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php ... Itemid=180Quote:
As regards to the choice of a friend, there is an expectation among their peers of choosing someone of the same sex, age, and values; social conventions not readily recognised by the child with Asperger’s Syndrome. He may have several friends, including girls who are kind and sociable. The friend may be considerably younger or older, or from a different cultural background. Their choice of friend may cause them to be ridiculed, as their peer group may not value their chosen friend.
Of course these aren't always true and are probably mainly studied in children anyways. Also it doesn't seem to explain what you are looking for in any way nor does it really generalize friendships in aspies.
22 Dec 2012, 10:28 am
