Lonely and feeling undesired--anyone else, and/or advice?

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You look fine, just get more sleep. Lots of bags under the eyes.

just saw your pic. You are definitely not ugly, and you are actually pretty cute. I do agree your face is pretty crooked but i think it's the photo? post another?

No it's not the photo
Here's another:
http://imgur.com/gallery/bHQD2/new

Everyone claims that pretty girls will get asked out all the time and even decent-looking girls will get asked out occasionally. Well, I've only ever been asked out once in my entire life. Normally guys don't even look at me, and when I try to talk to them, they make it clear they'd rather be talking to a prettier girl. And I don't have the personality to make up for it, if that's even possible, which I get the impression it's not

You're still not repulsive to me. I can easily imagine guys out there (especially Aspies) who would not mind asking you out and having a relationship with you.

But I also agree with what you're planning to do to make you more attractive physically.

I think you look great, it's a great backdrop too.

Being pretty shouldn't have to be a requirement at all for guys to ask you out, people should appreciate you for who you are, not for what you are not.

You look attractive in both photos, although I like the second one better (I just dislike smiles, for some reason). The only thing I could find wrong is that you look a little older than you are, as if you were in your late 20s. It is not even a bad thing, but it would probably make you more attractive only to older guys. Just take care of your skin, as Wolfheart suggested, and you will look younger.

"All the time" is still pretty subjective.
Guys are often intimidated if you're too pretty. They automatically classify you as "out of their league" and won't approach.
The truth is that for a girl, if you want someone who actually cares about you, it's best to be decent looking but not too pretty, with a decent personality.

The way one of my guy friends explained it is like this:
- if the chick is goodlooking enough but isn't a good person, then they will sleep with her. But they will put her in the "will never be friends" and "will never date" piles.
- if the chick has a nice enough personality but isn't goodlooking enough, then they will be friends with her. But they will put her into the "will never sleep with" and "will never date" piles.
- in order to be considered for dating or girlfriend material, they need to be both decent looking and have a decent personality.

How often do you get out of the house? When you do, do you always go to the same places? How often is it just for utily purposes (shopping, errands, etc) and how much of it is actually for socializing?

If you're not going out much, or only going out for utlity reasons, or going to the same places over and over again, it tends to lower the odds of guys approaching you.
Do you have any hobbies? Especially any that involve people - or could involve them if you wanted to?

Last edited by Kjas on 29 Dec 2012, 9:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It wouldn't be fair of me to post a picture without her permission, but I had an old friend from high school and she was UUUUuuug-ly! 20 years later I still think she's really ugly ...now also happily married with kids.

You're not ugly - you just have a minor difference some people have a hard time getting past. You're a LOT more attractive than my high school friend. It should only be a matter of time and exposure to other people... looks you had a couple interested fellas' in here already.

People do sometimes assume this, for instance I never get carded when I buy alcohol. On the other hand, I'm a senior in college and I've had people assume I was a freshman.

some people assume im gay (which im not) and gay guys would hit on me... and that totally makes me feel uncomfortable

if you are so incredibly wrong in your perception of your physical attractivness(thinking you are ugly when you aren't) then i am fairly certain that your conclusion that you are bad personality wise as well, would be inaccurate as well.
You seem like a sweet girl looking for someone to love and love you. You are also IN COLLEGE SO PROBABLY NOT A WORTHLESS SCUMBAG EITHER LOL. sorry caps.

Well, it shouldn't be and they should, but sadly it often is and they don't

I'm not in college or working, and therefore I'm a worthless scumbag. Yay.

(not trying to be sarcastic here, it is how I perceive myself.)

Lots of brilliant people didn't go to college/dropped out. And not just the famous examples. When our house flooded, the people who restored it were a construction company of two brothers, neither went to college, they built a very successful business and now make more money than my parents, who both have master's degrees in education. College doesn't define your worth. I think it makes it easier to make more money, but you can definitely be successful without it.

First of all, there is nothing wrong with your appearance. Your face and hair are very pretty, plus you have bright eyes and a very nice smile. To tell the truth I think the problems you are having are not at all related to your attractiveness. My guess is that you are like many of us, in that you do not communicate in the unspoken language of body language. I am astounded by how many women who have Asperger's see themselves as anywhere between unattractive and outright repulsive. I suspect that plenty of guys are sending you signals and from their perspective you are simply ignoring them. Secondly, you are probably sending no signals. Like the rest of us, you are different, but not wrong, bad, or repulsive. I suggest you see if there is some sort of a meet up in your area that you can join to socialize with other people who have Asperger's. I have tried, and tried, and tried to be successful in relationships with neuro-typical women. While some of the relationships have lasted a number of years and been amicable, none has resulted in what I could call a successful romance. You are certainly pretty enough for any guy. What you write tells me that you are a truly conscientious person. So, to the best of my ability to ascertain, you just need to find a nice guy who has Asperger's and some other things in common. And let's face it, as this website demonstrates, there are plenty of nice guys out there with Asperger's.

That said, I understand your position entirely and mine is similar. I've have a very successful career, a Bachelors Degree and a Master's Degree in Computer Science, I own two new homes, I'm financially secure, I have all the toys from Harley-Davidson to a Shelby GT500 and I can't pay a neuro-typical woman to go out with me. Also, I have no ex-wife, no kids, no debt, no drama, and on, and on, and on. None of that can save me from being seen as a creep. And, that is simply because I don't have the ability to communicate using facial expressions or tone of voice. I have always been treated as a weirdo - not a bad guy or someone who is untrustworthy, but as a creep. For me, I honestly think, from my personal experience, that attempting a relationship with a neuro-typical woman is a waste of time. To be honest, I think your best chemistry will be with one of your own. Good luck.

You're far from unattractive. I think you're pretty. You have nice hair, clear skin and a pretty smile. I also wouldn't consider you overweight. And it's not necessarily true that pretty girls get asked out all the time. I know plenty of pretty girls who never get asked out.

I think you might benefit from pushing yourself a bit outside your comfort zone. Try complimenting one guy a day and see what happens. Or asking out one guy a week. Even if it's over facebook chat or something. You might also want to try speaking up more in class and being more "visible". It can be hard if you are a shy blend-into-the-background sort of person.