Dating several candidates, ok or sin?

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Me too; lol.

I think it really has to do with the individual relationship. if there's honesty and mutual understanding then what's the problem right?

PS: This thread has nothing to do with polygamy.

I'd say that's not entirely accurate considering the admissions of people talking about the expectations of sex on the first date.. that means if you're sexually active with more than one partner at a time... even if all your doing is 'Dating'...

Me neither, gross, makes them seem desperate and looking around for anything...

If you wanna have a bunch of friends over and people over all of the time in a non sexual non skanky way, then you can get to know a lot of people at once and actually get to see who you are the most compatible with and not fall for every first spark, because a lot of times there is a spark with new people that fades very fast when you get to know them, so wait for the spark that lasts before defiling yourself with someone you are incompatible with first...

I made the mistake once, of hopping in the sack with someone I just met because we both were aspies and we liked animals and all of these other things, but if I would have not been so stupid and drunk and held off and been friends first, I would have seen within a few weeks we were not romantically compatible, but could have been great friends.

So what I did, (the wrong way) made me (and him) go through 2 years of hell and loose out on what could have been a super awesome friendship, but instead it was a hell relationship and now the guy hates me for rejecting the things we don't have in common romantically, even though as friends those things would have been fine.

She may cover herself with motor oil when she finds out

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dsp_8Lm1eSk[/youtube]

You wouldn't want her to do that, would you?

Interesting how it's the females that are equating dating to sex.

Yeah, because you must owe people you're just merely seeing a clarification that you're seeing other people.

Exactly. No relationship means no obligation to commit just yet.

That's cause they are, generally speaking, the ones who are expected to put out on a first date just cause some one bought them dinner...


And I don't think there is an obligation to tell some one who you are ONLY dating (not having sex with) that you are seeing other people.. but if you are currently sexually active with multiple partners.. they just may not be okay with that.. as the more partners you have the more chances you are taking that you may catch something or knock some one up, and therefore it is an obligation to inform them.. since as I said, they simply may not be okay with that idea. I know I wasn't and wouldn't be. Some people, believe it or not, just don't do casual sex...

But if you reread the thread title, it mentions dating (not having sex). Sex may be an intended outcome of dating for many people, but it's not part of the dating process. And not every date ends with such an outcome anyway.

The question/issue that some of you are discussing is more like the following:

If I had sex with a girl I've been dating, do I have an obligation to tell her that I'm also having sex with someone else?

Now that becomes a different story altogether, but this is not what Boo himself is pondering in this thread.

I think that is generally caused by confusion due to the recent "Hook up" culture.. where people may go out, and then go back to each others house and screw, and then never talk to each other again.. It's similar to a date, but without any preconceived notions of it actually leading to anything more serious.

The problem is, at least in my experience, people use the two phrases "Dating" and "hooking up" interchangeably.. that could be as much Geographical and cultural as anything.

But no, to answer Boo's original question, I don't think that, so long as it's ONLY a date with no physical intimacy involved, there is any reason to inform anyone else who you are also ONLY dating.

If post in the thread was taken from a reply in this http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf220195-0-15.html ; in the thread, brian is dating a girl for the 3rd time and there was no intimacy yet, so the suggestion was made for that stage of dating.

PS: I am still virgin btw, now for all those who are equating dating to sex (and therefore accusing me of having sex with multiple ones) can go suck a lemon.

I think as long as they are informed that you aren't going steady yet otherwise, one could find out and thing you are cheating and that can lead to some pretty nasty misunderstandings.

The main point of dating is to know more about the other person you have an interest in. That's the main reason people date (or at least should date).

As long as that's the only thing going on, then no implicit assumption that things are all of a sudden steady should be made. If you want things to go steady, this should be made explicitly clear (whether through words or action such as kissing on the lips/making out/sex)

In fact when you are on a dating site, you date several people to "evaluate and compare" them, and generally the other person is doing the same. Obviously you must tell, just in case.

I suppose this is how a lot of people that use dating sites dates. When you don't date online the situation is different, as you don't have a "cast of candidates"...