How to seduce an Aspie

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so he basically wasn't interested in anything more than friendship.

it was shocking to him because he thought he made it clear he wasn't interested, yet here you were... wanting to kiss him! so he once again made it clear that he was not interested.


more clear signals of disinterest.


it was nice of him not to hurt your feelings or to push you away, but that doesn't suddenly mean he is interested. he still didn't kiss you back or hug you or anything. still not interested.


that's because this was hella awkward.


common behaviour for people in awkward situations. people often laugh when they are uncomfortable.


you kind of made it seem like he should have "done" something, when in fact he didn't have to do anything at all.


it is never acceptable to cross into someone's personal space in a sexual/romantic way after they have said no to you. you may think that he is just a wayward and socially awkward aspie giving mixed signals, but even just from reading your post i can see he is giving you very loud and clear signals that he is not interested in anything more than friendship.

if you are his friend, then be his friend and stop pressuring him. if he wanted something more than friendship from you, then you gave him more than enough openings.

I didn't really get that impression, she didn't kiss him when he said no.......it was a different time, maybe the right moment had seemed to be there and people don't always ask before they kiss. And I don't see where it says the OP forced herself on him, it says she kissed him and he didn't protest....I can't say for sure but I think the OP would likely have left him alone if he said to.

I am not entirely sure I agree with that, I know I can certainly remain oblivious to those sort of 'openings' or simply to nervous about acting on it even if I want to. So not sure its accurate to say he's not interested for not reacting to somewhat unclear signals from the OP....I would suggest she talk to him about it and just be direct about it from this point forward and accept whatever his answer is and avoid presurring. I mean sure maybe there have been less clear openings but as far as I know being direct which has been suggested has not been attempted by the OP and that is probably the best approach.

I suppose I still see room for having missed the openings but I could be wrong.

she already did talk to him directly, though. and she wrote it down too.

why does this thread imply its different to seduce someone with AS than someone without?

i tried to answer this question,and i found i was being hideously sarcastic. the idea we are different in this way is just so damn patronising

EDIT: though, to be fair, we often don't pick up on social cues and facial expressions and such

I said that. Be extremely direct and upfront. If he says no or doesn't say 'yes' by action, word or gesture, then leave him the hell alone.

I certainly don't get it....he said no to a kiss one time, he didn't say no to any potential relationship or anything else simply declined a kiss. I personally need more details about the nature of the second kiss where the OP did not ask in order to really judge what went on there, I certainly don't have enough details to say with any certainty if the OP forced herself on him.........forcing anything like that is wrong. However saying no to a kiss one time to me does not say 'that guy clearly doesn't even want to consider a relationship with her.'

So I'm either missing something that was said or I really am clueless about social behavior which I wouldn't deny.

I agree that if he says no to a relationship leave him alone but I am confused as why saying no to one kiss would indicate a lack of intrest alltogether. Also I think it would be more upsetting to the OP if he did not say yes and the OP just abruptly stopped having anything to do with him considering it says he and the OP do things together. For instance say he wanted to be friends and nothing more well I think I know what signal the OP just ignoring him after that would give.

The rocking back and forth, repeating, "no no no no no" sounds more like a deep psychological/autistic overload & shutdown to me...

Too much happening too fast.

This may not necessarily mean no to everything forever - but definitely to back off, slow down, give him space and time to process this rather large development.

I would encourage you to keep being friendly, casual with just a hint of "I'm still interested", but leave the next move up to him. Like I said before, he may not be ready to progress because of other crap in his life (and in his head!)... he might NEVER be ready or able to. Patience and friendliness seems key here - no more attacking the poor fella'. You might scare him off for good!

My best advice for seducing an aspie male is get an extra Large pizza and pack of soda/Beer alongside a documentary dvd that goes into scientific/historical detail about sex as well as gifting him a copy of the kama sutra. That is about subtle as it could possible it could get for an aspie male although the pizza and canned drink would be a good indicator of wanting something from him.

Ultimately, make something awesome for him.

Except this thread wasn't written by a man describing how a girl had said "no" to him yet he forced himself upon her anyway.

So yea, it's perfectly OK for women to force themselves upon men

^_^

It's cute.

:trollface:

My 14yr old son has to deal with this dynamic a lot. He was even assaulted by a group of older girls over the summer (at the time he was 13, and they ranged from 15 - a week shy of 18 ) at an event sponsored by the school he was enrolled in at the time. The police and CPS took reports but refused to investigate because the girls were minors. Ds isn't really interested in girls yet and was not only saying no but pushing them away and eventually escaped them and ran straight to an older boy in a leadership position for help. The girls said he actually wanted it and that he was just shy and nervous and that's why he said no and fought them (sound similar to this thread at all?). The school initially said they were interested in protecting ds, but after an administrative meeting they decided the girls were the ones in need of protection. They decided that ds was lying because he regretted saying no, and suspended him until he would make an official statement to the police that he was lying. We went to the school board, the press, etc, and everyone assumes that he is incapable of saying no or not wanting any kind of sexual contact simply because he is male.

Ds is well supported and in a safe situation now, where he isn't under the authority of ANY of the individuals that continue to allow that group of girls to victimize incoming freshman. The attitude that men are incapable of or don't have the right to say no has become incredibly pervasive in our society, though. Younger females are being raised to do exactly what many of the previous posters have said...never accept no from a man, and never accept that he may not be interested in you. Just try harder or become more aggressive when he rejects you, and if all else fails you should take what you want by force. And if he complains about you forcing yourself on him, you are the victim! He should know his place and is dishonest and manipulative if he ever tries to stand up for himself.

This would actually work on me!!

Are you being sarcastic?

How is it OK?

It's sexist to imply that it's OK to assault men, but not women. Shouldn't men have the same right to say no?

Or, you could just try saying plainly: "I really like you. Will you kiss me?"

If he says "yes," mission accomplished. Enjoy the kiss.

If he says "no," accept that he doesn't want to be kissed, and leave him alone!