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A date - this Saturday

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MCalavera
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11 Jan 2013, 12:40 am

MrEGuy wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Generally, Tunisians (yes, even those living in their mainland) are the least rigid in those matters, I knew some Tunisiennes who are promiscuous more than any westerner imaginable.


So, the big takeaway here for me is if I couldn't swing the Tunisian girl, don't even bother with any other Arab ladies! Of course, the tough thing when you're the foreigner in a situation is parsing what is cultural, what is familial and what is personal.

I can remember a Pakistani girl I knew from work. She was married and I wasn't pursuing her at all. She wore the full burqa (this was in America, BTW). She was just a really good friend -- in fact, the only person I could stand at that damned job. The one night her husband found out I was giving her a ride home from work and the next day he made her quit the job. Mind you, before that, she was taking the bus at 2am! As an American man, I would much rather a female in the family take a ride at 2am from a trusted friend than sit at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere.

I try very hard to not dwell on those things. I just regret losing a good friend over a cultural misunderstanding.


Well, she wore the full burqa, so you should expect things like this to occur. It's not just a piece of clothing. :lol:



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jan 2013, 3:03 am

MrEGuy wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Generally, Tunisians (yes, even those living in their mainland) are the least rigid in those matters, I knew some Tunisiennes who are promiscuous more than any westerner imaginable.


So, the big takeaway here for me is if I couldn't swing the Tunisian girl, don't even bother with any other Arab ladies! Of course, the tough thing when you're the foreigner in a situation is parsing what is cultural, what is familial and what is personal.

I can remember a Pakistani girl I knew from work. She was married and I wasn't pursuing her at all. She wore the full burqa (this was in America, BTW). She was just a really good friend -- in fact, the only person I could stand at that damned job. The one night her husband found out I was giving her a ride home from work and the next day he made her quit the job. Mind you, before that, she was taking the bus at 2am! As an American man, I would much rather a female in the family take a ride at 2am from a trusted friend than sit at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere.

I try very hard to not dwell on those things. I just regret losing a good friend over a cultural misunderstanding.



abt the Pakistani girl, she's wearing a burqa, meaning she's fundie or living with a fundie family, just don't have contact with those people. Pakistanis are not Arabs btw, they're simply Muslim Indians originally.


About the Tunisian girl, I think you weren't very discreet about it. Believe me, Tunisian/Morrocain/Algerian girls are often forward especially with foreigners and would swing with them.
But yea, why bothering when you have less complicated choices....



MrEGuy
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11 Jan 2013, 1:26 pm

I don't sweat these things too much. A big part of day-to-day functionality for me, especially as it pertains to the opposite sex, is trying to not leave myself emotional dependent on how I hope things work out.

The nice thing with missing something with someone from a different culture is you're not quick to blame yourself.



Tequila
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11 Jan 2013, 1:31 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
abt the Pakistani girl, she's wearing a burqa, meaning she's fundie or living with a fundie family, just don't have contact with those people. Pakistanis are not Arabs btw, they're simply Muslim Indians originally.


I suspect burqa (or, rather, niqab-wearing) is more commonplace here than in an actual Muslim country like Lebanon (where you live) or Turkey. It gives me massive creeps, and I avoid anyone who wears it in much the same way that I avoid anyone who wears a balaclava or covers their face. As MCavalera says, it's not just a piece of clothing - it's a massive political statement as well, which is why so many people are hostile to it in the West. And by the way, MCavalera - thanks for clearing up something I already suspected about many people wearing the blasted tents.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
About the Tunisian girl, I think you weren't very discreet about it. Believe me, Tunisian/Morrocain/Algerian girls are often forward especially with foreigners and would swing with them.
But yea, why bothering when you have less complicated choices....


That doesn't sound too bad about the Tunisians. If they get themselves sorted out, I wouldn't mind going for a holiday there. I would need some advice on where to go for the pretty ladies, though. I don't want to the banging a camel! If the beer is good in Tunisia, all the better. I suspect, though, like most foreign countries, they might need a little bit of work doing on that. :D

A nice dunkel or IPA on the beach - can't say fairer than that.

Also, on Tunisian ladies - are they fat? There just isn't enough real Arab smut in the world. ;)



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jan 2013, 1:41 pm

Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.



nessa238
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12 Jan 2013, 2:52 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.


What did you talk about?



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jan 2013, 3:04 pm

nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.


What did you talk about?


Studies, workplace and activities.



nessa238
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12 Jan 2013, 3:05 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.


What did you talk about?


Studies, workplace and activities.


Don't you talk about previous relationships at all?

I know it's meant to be a 'no no' but I find it's the easiest thing to talk about - the conversation flows better



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jan 2013, 3:06 pm

nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.


What did you talk about?


Studies, workplace and activities.


Don't you talk about previous relationships at all?

I know it's meant to be a 'no no' but I find it's the easiest thing to talk about - the conversation flows better


no no

and it's usually not in my favour to do so.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 12 Jan 2013, 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nessa238
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12 Jan 2013, 3:07 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.


What did you talk about?


Studies, workplace and activities.


Don't you talk about previous relationships at all?

I know it's meant to be a 'no no' but I find it's the easiest thing to talk about - the conversation flows better


no no

and it's usually not for my favour to do so.


Oh Why?

I find you can often bond over shared horror stories about ex's lol



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jan 2013, 3:13 pm

nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.


What did you talk about?


Studies, workplace and activities.


Don't you talk about previous relationships at all?

I know it's meant to be a 'no no' but I find it's the easiest thing to talk about - the conversation flows better


no no

and it's usually not for my favour to do so.


Oh Why?

I find you can often bond over shared horror stories about ex's lol


Because I barely have ex's? A NT girl of her age (30) surely have more than me; and you did see her picture.

We did chat about past dates/relationships before though but I usually avoid doing so, especially during first dates.



nessa238
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12 Jan 2013, 3:17 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.


What did you talk about?


Studies, workplace and activities.


Don't you talk about previous relationships at all?

I know it's meant to be a 'no no' but I find it's the easiest thing to talk about - the conversation flows better


no no

and it's usually not for my favour to do so.


Oh Why?

I find you can often bond over shared horror stories about ex's lol


Because I barely have ex's? A NT girl of her age (30) surely have more than me; and you did see her picture.

We did chat about past dates/relationships before though but I usually avoid doing so, especially during first dates.


Oh so it's more to do with not wanting her to know you haven't had many ex gf's?

I find a lot of conventional dating type conversation very hard like "So what are you up to this weekend then?"
or "Got any holidays planned for this year?" It's like hairdresser small talk and I find there's no way to have a deep,
interesting conversation with this type of topic as I don't do any of the stuff likely to impress the other person at weekends and
don't often take holidays so there's nowhere for it to go.

NT conversation seems like an exchange of information designed to impress the other person



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jan 2013, 4:25 pm

nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.


What did you talk about?


Studies, workplace and activities.


Don't you talk about previous relationships at all?

I know it's meant to be a 'no no' but I find it's the easiest thing to talk about - the conversation flows better


no no

and it's usually not for my favour to do so.


Oh Why?

I find you can often bond over shared horror stories about ex's lol


Because I barely have ex's? A NT girl of her age (30) surely have more than me; and you did see her picture.

We did chat about past dates/relationships before though but I usually avoid doing so, especially during first dates.


Oh so it's more to do with not wanting her to know you haven't had many ex gf's?

I find a lot of conventional dating type conversation very hard like "So what are you up to this weekend then?"
or "Got any holidays planned for this year?" It's like hairdresser small talk and I find there's no way to have a deep,
interesting conversation with this type of topic as I don't do any of the stuff likely to impress the other person at weekends and
don't often take holidays so there's nowhere for it to go.

NT conversation seems like an exchange of information designed to impress the other person


It's not a smart thing to do because you might sound badmouthing your ex's.



nessa238
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12 Jan 2013, 4:57 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Went fine, it was just a 1hour date hence she has a 5 days of Law exams next week (very flattering, no? ;p I was very flattered when I knew that and honestly I would have suggested to postpone it if I knew earlier; I knew she has exam on Mon but not the whole week).

The good news: another date set for next Sat.


What did you talk about?


Studies, workplace and activities.


Don't you talk about previous relationships at all?

I know it's meant to be a 'no no' but I find it's the easiest thing to talk about - the conversation flows better


no no

and it's usually not for my favour to do so.


Oh Why?

I find you can often bond over shared horror stories about ex's lol


Because I barely have ex's? A NT girl of her age (30) surely have more than me; and you did see her picture.

We did chat about past dates/relationships before though but I usually avoid doing so, especially during first dates.


Oh so it's more to do with not wanting her to know you haven't had many ex gf's?

I find a lot of conventional dating type conversation very hard like "So what are you up to this weekend then?"
or "Got any holidays planned for this year?" It's like hairdresser small talk and I find there's no way to have a deep,
interesting conversation with this type of topic as I don't do any of the stuff likely to impress the other person at weekends and
don't often take holidays so there's nowhere for it to go.

NT conversation seems like an exchange of information designed to impress the other person


It's not a smart thing to do because you might sound badmouthing your ex's.


I know, I only tend to do it if the other person does too lol



ShamelessGit
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13 Jan 2013, 9:16 pm

I'm feeling the same way right now, Boo. I've started trying to date more seriously recently, and I also feel that it is exhausting and repetitive.



BlueMax
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14 Jan 2013, 2:15 am

Well? How'd it go? ;)

ShamelessGit wrote:
I'm feeling the same way right now, Boo. I've started trying to date more seriously recently, and I also feel that it is exhausting and repetitive.

That plus expensive! The "guy always buys first date" rule is still alive and well.