Page 3 of 3 [ 41 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

IlovemyAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: Alone

24 Mar 2013, 10:32 pm

auntblabby wrote:
^^^
if he took a shine to me i would not object.


If he were nice and we 'vibed' I probably wouldn't object either, but not because I thought he was gorgeous. It all comes down to chemistry.



Geekonychus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,660

25 Mar 2013, 11:57 am

Honestly, commenting on a woman's appearence when they aren't asking for it has a lot of potential for trouble. Look at the number of Aspies on this board with sexual harrassment accusations against them. It's safer to erre on the side of caution.



IlovemyAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: Alone

25 Mar 2013, 12:05 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
Honestly, commenting on a woman's appearence when they aren't asking for it has a lot of potential for trouble. Look at the number of Aspies on this board with sexual harrassment accusations against them. It's safer to erre on the side of caution.


I was told my lips looked sexier than they usually do (by my Aspie guy) LOVED IT!! ! Could not stop beaming!! ! Still makes me smile when i think about it :oops:



Geekonychus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,660

25 Mar 2013, 12:17 pm

IlovemyAspie wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Honestly, commenting on a woman's appearence when they aren't asking for it has a lot of potential for trouble. Look at the number of Aspies on this board with sexual harrassment accusations against them. It's safer to erre on the side of caution.


I was told my lips looked sexier than they usually do (by my Aspie guy) LOVED IT!! ! Could not stop beaming!! ! Still makes me smile when i think about it :oops:

There's nothing wrong with commenting on the attractiveness of someone you're seeing. I do that all the the time.

.........But how would you feel if someone you barely knew said that to you?



IlovemyAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: Alone

25 Mar 2013, 12:27 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Honestly, commenting on a woman's appearence when they aren't asking for it has a lot of potential for trouble. Look at the number of Aspies on this board with sexual harrassment accusations against them. It's safer to erre on the side of caution.


I was told my lips looked sexier than they usually do (by my Aspie guy) LOVED IT!! ! Could not stop beaming!! ! Still makes me smile when i think about it :oops:

There's nothing wrong with commenting on the attractiveness of someone you're seeing. I do that all the the time.

.........But how would you feel if someone you barely knew said that to you?


That kind of stuff happens to me a lot. That comment wouldn't be out of line to me. What bothers me is when you say thank you and they keep pestering you. Then it's harassing.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,555
Location: the island of defective toy santas

25 Mar 2013, 7:05 pm

many women simply won't abide anybody not alpha male dreamboat quality from even being around them.



IlovemyAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: Alone

25 Mar 2013, 7:09 pm

auntblabby wrote:
many women simply won't abide anybody not alpha male dreamboat quality from even being around them.


I'm glad I do not fall into this category of women.



spongy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,055
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave

26 Mar 2013, 2:38 am

Ive been trying to do something similar for similar purposes.

However I dont want anyone thinking Im sexually harassing them or anything along those lines.

What do I do?
I stick to friendly meetings when everyone has had at least one drink and its pretty clear that Im joking,also to avoid giving someone the wrong idea Ive started asking male acquaintances about their job/lifes and so on too.
Surprisingly complimenting female friends every now and then has had a better reception than asking about male´s days(first time I did it the guy was surprised I even knew what he did for a living...)



Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

26 Mar 2013, 2:54 am

Depends on the level of involvement from the opposite sex, look for indicators of eye contact or interest before approaching to make a complement. Don't use too many complements as this will be seen as flattery and the complements will become insincere and lose effectiveness but using a complement as an ice breaker is a great way to start a conversation.

I particularly like asking someone about their accent if I have heard them speak because you can open up a conversation asking them about where they are from and it can lead to the topic of culture.

Try to focus on more open ended questions as well so instead of saying "What do you do?" say "how's work?" and respond with "it's really good to see someone who enjoys to be valued for their creativity in a certain area" or "that's really interesting, what made you get into that?" and that can lead to a conversation. Avoid questions that will only lead to one word answers and this can be off putting and try to focus on being descriptive as possible but remember that a conversation is give and take.

Avoid asking question after question as this can be off putting and leads or a turn off, if the person only answers your questions with one word, back away from the conversation and if you want to leave the conversation, direct your eyes elsewhere and keep your body language turned away.

I suggest everyone checks out the CharismaCoach youtube channel which is great, he really explains communication in a simple manner.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfIEyUTnS-g[/youtube]

Remember to make a concious effort to communicate and be as aware as possible, give someone your full attention when speaking with them and put in as much effort. Get out there and learn, join gyms, local groups, art classes, churches, sports clubs, singles events and other classes of interest. You should have a local paper or guide delivered or go to your local convenience store to ask for one, that should list the events that are on in your area.