Fugly dude gets the hot chick: Media skews male perspective

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Agree and disagree. I wasn't blaming "all women," nor was I blaming "all beautiful women," I was talking about a contingency of women who use their looks and sex appeal to win favors from men...and of course the men who mindlessly play along.

But there is an irony of sorts in your post. While you defend "all women," you're actually insulting them because, you see, women make up about 50% of our society, yet you seem to imply that "our society" = men collectively.

And no, I don't disagree about men and women serving mutual roles and playing their respective parts in a healthy relationship.

I don't think it's that big of a deal. I mean I do admit there is a bit of a thing going on, especially nowadays due to bodybuilding, men pretty much have their own BS going on like girls do with body image issues and whatnot, just it works out differently (a girl may be anorexic/bullimic, a guy may live entirely on whey protein shakes and ephedrine to get a six pack.)

But, I think really, you just attract different types of girls if you look like Justin Bieber vs looking like The Rock. I don't know how to psychoanalyze a bunch of theoretical girls, but I'd venture to guess girls who still want a guy who looks like The Rock want the more stereotypical "protector" role of a man. But I think there's always been Justin Beibers around, though. Some women are attracted to more androgenous features, and we can see historical androgynous sort of men. I don't know about "ancient" history, but in the 60s, plenty of rock stars were androgynous, same with singers like Prince, Michael Jackson, etc.

I dunno, personally, I met a really nice girl fixing her car. Actually I got to talk to a lot of women due to my car knowledge/skills I'd otherwise have no reason to talk to. Some girl may even marry me and say "well he's a socially awkward jerkface, but he can fix my car."

I don't think he is insulting them. Some women objectify themselves, therefore "our society" would include women too.

However, women do need men, just as children need two good parents, including a father figure- its just that in industrialised countries/western countries, women are working and providing for themselves. But historically and globally, where it is required for financial reasons, rather than reasons of independence, women work and help provide for the family (Thailand, India, Africa, everywhere really) in addition to men.

I think our expectations of each other as men and women are becoming skewed, and further perpetuated by the media and ourselves. Look around you, both men and women are becoming homogenised- I cant remember what people look like anymore (especially celebrities/models) as they all look similar. I cant spot a p**** Cat Doll from a Sugarbabe (interesting names!)

People have always beautified themselves, especially men, as it is human nature to like what we see. But our perspective has changed somewhat-The thread on this forum (and some of the replies) "would you ever date an obese person" is proof of this. The fact that weight is pulled out as an isolated factor with such emphasis is quite telling. (I found it a strange question- I don't know if I am attracted to a fat person-it depends who it is). Would it be fair to ask, would you ever date a disabled person and then dissect into reasons why and why not, just because of your strongly felt "preference". I am not equating being overweight as a disability, but it certainly appears to increasingly be a disadvantage.

Beauty is wholly what you perceive it to be. Some types of beauty a lot of us are attracted to, some of us see beauty in things that others do not. And I believe if you don't fall outside 2 standard deviations of the norm when it comes to conforming- your perception of the ideal man or woman is heavily culturally and peer influenced. Many men all over the world favour the buxom, blushed cheeked woman, with hips and a belly. they find it incredibly sexy. I dated a man for 2 years who really loved women in all shapes and sizes, he just loved women. He had his minimum and maximum tolerances but it was a wide range. As a result he had had a lot of sex and was happy. He would comment on what he found particularly beautiful (he loved me wearing glasses!) but he would not outrightly be repulsed by women who were not that beautiful to him. He just did not categorise them in that way.

I am currently in love with a man who I first thought looked a bit geeky (shirt tucked in, neat and tidy hair) and the more I was around him, the sexier he became to me. I love his face, hands, his various beauty spots and moles, his arms, his shoulders, back, bum, thighs, jawline, . Everything about him turns me on so much I can't explain. Yet he is no Johnny Depp to others. But to me, I can't see anyone better looking. I feel lucky to be able to see him this way. I think the term is crystallisation and its far more powerful than a washboard stomach.

Also, its not about having "high standards". That implies that anyone who is not thin with long blonde hair (the perceived barbie-esque ideal) is of a lower standard; a notion ridiculous on so many levels. The problem is men, or boys, going for the same type of woman, which is society's generated ideal-whether they themselves are "good looking" or not.

Something is wrong about the kiss....

^ but I 100% agree with you, plus none of the mentioned heroes were really ugly, not even the "beast" who got kissed only after turning to a prince charming.
I for one, want someone within my league, I am not after supermodels.

I would say neither the 80's models nor the present model in your photo have huge huge muscles, but if anything, the present model has more muscle, though it's hard to tell from the angle in the top photo. The modern guy is definitely no Justin Bieber. I fail to see your point.

I think it goes both ways. Everyone has unrealistic ideas about who and what they want. I see it every time I peruse OKCupid. People's profiles treat the whole dating process like it's shopping for a car. Must be my height or taller. Cannot be overweight. No tattoos. One gal actually was looking for a guy who owned a jetski.

Which is all maddening for me, because I simply want to meet people. I want to make new connections and put myself out there, and figure out just what my priorities are. I want to enjoy the process of discovery and the joys in gradually building a rapport.

But sadly dating and relationships has like everything been comodified and commercialized. It's all about status, and your partner reflects who you as much as a fancy car or a big house. It's all for show, and it's a great illusion to sell to the average and mediocre peoples of the world who watch these televised programs and actually believe they too can marry a 5'10 knockout.

Which isn't to say that's not possible, but people develop a sense of entitlement, rather than asking "How can I improve myself so that I can be a viable mate to the kind of person I desire."

I mean, I'd love to date a knockout bombshell of a gal like most other males out there, but beauty isn't the most important thing, and I know if that is something I wish to have in a mate, I need to improve myself too (which I'm doing) by making myself more successful, more outgoing and worldly and in general more well rounded and accomplished.

I dont agree with your change of role models and so on. Sure you have fashion trends, but around every time you had more boyish actors for the girls and women that appreciate the boy type, and more muscular adult one. Simply thing about Leonardo the Caprio that looked like a teenboy until he was 30 or Michael J. Fox. And our New Kids on the Blocks also could have shared their face hairs, to receive one beard. ^^ And Johnny Depp got famous for playing a boyish undercover cop in an High School.

And the why is pretty simple, because most very young girls dont feel sexually attracted by adult males, simply because they look like their father. ^^ You are surrounded by young boys around that age, then you have additional posters of models that normally also are not older then 25, while older guys you normally get to see when you are meeting with uncool parents. When I was young I also found the more boyish type sexy, so I had a poster with the boy from Terminator 2 and "body hair for a man was sooooooo ugly" and I didnt understand why everyone told that the actors of James Bond were sex symbols when they were simply ugly, old and full of ugly hairs. ^^ (I dont know which James Bond it was, but it had lots of underwater scenes and James Bond only wear a half diving suit, so you could see his legs at full length and they were full of hair, and I thought it to be completely disgusting.)

But this is pretty normal that young girls find young boys more attractive. And as they get older they are attracted to more mature men, simply because you normally have more contact to people around your age and they are aging with you. And while a 30 year old men in earlier days looked old for a girl that is surrounded by boys, for a 30 year old women he looks pretty normal. So when its about that teeniebands nowadays I normally get no sexual feelings but its more about "Oooooo....look at that cutie....I want to hug him and feed him...." XD Sorry, but I am 33 and imaginating having sex with Justin Bieber gives me thoughts about kid molestion. ^^ While the sex appeal of a Sean Connery or the Nespresso Guy, definitly win against him. Young men nowadays starts for me around 25 upwards, while everything above goes as kid that is not really interesting for most older women. Its simply that you cant talk on eyehigh with them, not because they are less worth or anything, but they have no life experiences yet, they didnt have to think what they really want to acchieve in their lives and so on. There is nothing bad about it, that whats being young is good for, but I simply cant feel sexually attracted to someone that still needs to be cared for, as if it was my son. Hyper unsexy. ^^

So yes, a lot of pretty young girls are affected with Justin Bieber and all that stuff, just like a lot of young girls was affected in their young days, with some rebelling young boys, that called themselve the Beatles. What I question myself: What the hell do you want with a majority of 16 year old teen girls? ^^ Leave them to their classcomerades and Justin Bieber and simply go for woman your age. I mean if you are going to have relationships with tiny little girls, that leaves the tiny little boys for us old ladies. Its ok for me to change the pampers of the kids of my sexpartner, but I dont want to change those of my partners too. ^^

I have a rough time telling what is in my league, because I have no idea exactly how attractive I am.

I've been rejected by girls that most guys wouldn't even consider dating so your logic isn't flawless.

Edit: double post

Not enough tongue?

Or maybe too much? Or bad breath. Ahhh, so much could go wrong. And not all of it is the good kind of wrong

This.

But now that this has been said, someone will come in and wave the "confidence" stick.

-Shallow Hal
-Catfish
-Harold and Maude
-The Graduate

I guess if we're going to pay to watch a movie, then there had better at least be a hawt actress, most of the time.

I thought that Shrek made a nice turn on the theme.

Since you cited 5 movies that span 40 years, they are the exceptions that prove the rule. It's so rare that it happens only once or twice a decade.

Cracked has an excellent explanation. For a humour site, they are astonishingly accurate.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5- ... women.html
[Cracked describes movies/books/videogames in the same way the OP did]



Cracked explains how this ties into NiceGuy Syndrome and makes points similar to the OP. Cracked's argument (which I fully agree with) is that modern media sells the Hot Chick as a reward that the Hero of the Movie/book/game gets as a reward for finishing his quest. This is damaging to male/female relations. The article is worth a read.