Are they the same?

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Depends on how the person with blonde hair decides to act - many definitely play up to that role and many men love it!

Women dye their hair blonde to makle themsevles look younger/more attractive to men usually

In my experience, the person who is strongly focused on looks will prefer to trade their partner in for a younger model when they get older - it's very common

Also, attractive people are cheated on a lot as there's always a more attractive person

Different experiences as I find the person who is strongly focused on looks and isn't strongly focused on personality/compatibility will prefer to trade their partner. Are those people you find strongly focused on looks also have none to little focus on personality/compatibility? If so it seems it's not a matter of how much focus is on looks but how less focus is on personality/compatibility as well. A person being strongly focused on looks to me doesn't mean will trade their partner in as as I find most people want both attraction (looks) and appeal (personality/compatibility).

Statistics for attractive people are cheated on a lot or is this your experience?

No.

The first instance is passive and non-judgmental.

The second instance is aggressive and judgmental.

Agreed, Fnord, though a judgment of dislikeing blonds is in both.

How the eww/yuck expression about some trait you have can't be a degrading term regarding your value as a human being? It's an expression of disgust for gawd's sake!

If your friend finds all blondes (or any other random trait) eww and since you're blonde then you're eww to him/her which means he/she finds you as a disgusting human being.

The problem is way beyond the dating material here but your mind is so concrete, stuck in the dating material aspect.

Now where have I heard this one before?

To me it's not regarding your value as a human being because you presented it as solely about attraction and some people find some traits repulsive and aren't attracted to.

Seems you're doing another exaggeration or omission as your hypothetical situation has changed from the earlier one of a friend sawing eww and explaining why she wouldn't like him personally to now it's a friend saying eww as if it is a generalization to judge their worth as human beings.

Perhaps my mind is "so concrete" and "stuck in the dating material aspect" because that was how you presented it so if the problem was way beyond dating material then it's suited for you to state that and in your thread you did not. You talk about her judging him as dating material for herself not her talking his value as a human being:

Again, finding you as an unworthy dating material and "eww" and "yuck" material =/= not finding you as dating material.

The first (unworthy/ewww dating material) implies that I am not finding you a dating material because I think of you as an unworthy/disgusting person because of some trait(s) you have, the second implies that I don't find you as a dating material without stating why (could be just chemistry and type issue) but I might highly respect you as a person still and see you worthy in the society and even worthy to be someone else's catch.

No, the first statement implies indifference, which is a lack of being judgmental.

"Professional sports are stupid" is a statement of judgment.

"I'm not interested in professional sports" is a statement of indifference.

If something does not interest me, then I neither like it nor dislike it.

If I express like or dislike for something, then that is being judgmental.

Finding you unworthy dating material and eww/yuck material = not finding you dating material as both means the person will not be dating them.

"I am not finding you dating material" means speaking for themselves they're not saying you're not worthy to be someone else's catch and finding you unworthy/disgusting attraction wise isn't finding you unworthy/disgusting as a person.

Your hypothetical situation was "the other girl was like 'eww' and she explained why she wouldn't like him," meaning she's talking about herself and whether she'd date him not talking about his worth in society or worth to be another person's catch. Her finding whatever trait of his disgusting attraction wise /= her finding him disgusting as a person or unworthy of dating for others.

Last edited by AnonymousGIrl on 09 May 2013, 10:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

But it is not indifferent. Statement one says that the person isn't attracted to blonds, hence, it is not a neutral take on the issue. It may not be a strong opinion, but opinion is there.

Seriously, AnonymousGirl, it is very important to you to learn the difference because otherwise it will affect negatively your socialization, I have no idea how old or sociable you are, but in the future it will be very important for you to avoid loss of friends/buddies and how you would be viewed as a person by your peers/colleagues.

That doesn't only stop at my narrow scenarios but your reasoning's negative influence can extend to many variations and even different social scenarios.

You sound to me that you totally lack Theory of mind, which is not uncommon among autistics, but you need to start grasping its basics, you're not living alone in an island.

I suggest you to chat with hurtloam about this matter as a starting point.

The only difference is that one may be more 'offensive' and quite amusing that you have no idea about me yet are so ASSUmptous. It hasn't negatively affected my socialization and as I'm quite popular and well-liked and I've never lost friends and know how I am viewed as a person.

Do tell where is the lacking theory of mind in stating that if a person says eww/yuck about a trait another has they're not going to date them and don't find them dating material? It seems like I lack theory of mind because I don't find it as 'offensive' as you do and I don't think "a gal finding a guy unworthy dating material for her personally" = "a gal finding a guy unworthy in society and unworthy dating material for anyone".

I know the basics and I'm already aware I'm not living alone in an island in fact I share a house with my sorority sisters though again nice ASSumptions about me.

Yes, the debate basically started from this point.

Talk to hurtloam, she might let you figure out what's your problem.

I won't debate with you any further

It's my observation that attractive people get cheated on a lot

They tend to have more generic (and often very annoying) personalities and when a better looking person comes along it's therefore easy for a person to jump ship to another generic good looker

If you have good looks and all around you are less attractive people, your partner will likely stay as they will see you as the best one but if there are lots of equally good looking or better looking people around why should they stay? (this is when looks are important to the person) Yes some people want looks and to be faithful but a lot jump around if they can

That's how it comes across to me anyway

As for saying things like 'Eww' and 'Yuck' about people - some people are just more mature than others

In fact I often look at some of the men who are partners with standardly attractive women and while these men aren't ugly I can't see anything attractive/desirable in their features and try to imagine myself kissing them and think I just couldn't, so what is found sexually attractive definitely varies a lot!

Last edited by nessa238 on 09 May 2013, 10:43 am, edited 2 times in total.