Critique my OKCupid round 3 (or is it 4 now)

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ShamelessGit
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09 May 2013, 10:20 pm

I thought that was a very good profile and I enjoyed reading it. I don't think I've ever read a female profile that I enjoyed reading more than yours, and I'm totally hetro. I wish the ladies would be half as interesting as you and put as much effort into their profiles.



OliveOilMom
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09 May 2013, 11:41 pm

I think it sounds like you're trying too hard to impress. If I were single and reading profiles looking for a guy, I would think either you are very stuck up or it was mostly made up or exaggerated. I don't have experience with dating sites, so I may be totally wrong here. I don't know what people put on their profiles because I've only read a few and only when people link theirs from here. However, it just struck me as you were trying very hard to impress, and that would make me wonder why you were trying so hard. I'm not sure what you should tone down and how, but I think it might be good to tone it down a little bit.


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My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


The_Face_of_Boo
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10 May 2013, 12:46 am

I didn't see he was trying too hard.

Out of all female profiles I saw, all those who traveled the world do mention so.

Maybe it was the Obama reference made him appears so?



Venger
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10 May 2013, 7:13 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I didn't see he was trying too hard.

Out of all female profiles I saw, all those who traveled the world do mention so.

Maybe it was the Obama reference made him appears so?


Didn't you say on here before that you started getting much more attention from women after you quit wearing your glasses in public? How come you haven't mentioned that to the OP?



spongy
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10 May 2013, 7:22 am

Venger wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I didn't see he was trying too hard.

Out of all female profiles I saw, all those who traveled the world do mention so.

Maybe it was the Obama reference made him appears so?


Didn't you say on here before that you started getting much more attention from women after you quit wearing your glasses in public? How come you haven't mentioned that to the OP?

It depends on each situation.

Im legally binded to glasses.

I have to get my car to go to just about any place and in the medical exam for my drivers license I was told I cant drive without glasses.
Since I need them for driving and I dont want my eyesight to worsen I wear them every day most of the time.
Presenting myself without glasses would be my version of the myspace shot, something that anyone who meets me will call out on(yes its tiny but people would probably notice).

I dont know brian/boo's situation though



Venger
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10 May 2013, 7:31 am

spongy wrote:
Venger wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I didn't see he was trying too hard.

Out of all female profiles I saw, all those who traveled the world do mention so.

Maybe it was the Obama reference made him appears so?


Didn't you say on here before that you started getting much more attention from women after you quit wearing your glasses in public? How come you haven't mentioned that to the OP?

It depends on each situation.

Im legally binded to glasses.

I have to get my car to go to just about any place and in the medical exam for my drivers license I was told I cant drive without glasses.
Since I need them for driving and I dont want my eyesight to worsen I wear them every day most of the time.
Presenting myself without glasses would be my version of the myspace shot, something that anyone who meets me will call out on(yes its tiny but people would probably notice).

I dont know brian/boo's situation though


I mentioned previously in this thread that I'd get contact-lenses if my vision was bad to require me to wear corrective lenses in public at all times. I have glasses that I only use at home while doing certain things like playing video games, etc.

I renewed my driver's license a few years back, and I was able to pass the vision test without any corrective lenses just by squinting a bit. lol



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 May 2013, 8:07 am

Venger wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I didn't see he was trying too hard.

Out of all female profiles I saw, all those who traveled the world do mention so.

Maybe it was the Obama reference made him appears so?


Didn't you say on here before that you started getting much more attention from women after you quit wearing your glasses in public? How come you haven't mentioned that to the OP?


True that, I don't know how bad brian's vision is so I didn't mention it; but I did suggest sunglasses for running or more sporty glasses. Not all people can tolerate contacts.

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&gs_ ... IiQOMLegFg

Some frames are cool.



Brianruns10
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10 May 2013, 11:12 am

My vision is very bad without glasses, so I've never really looked into contacts as an option. Besides, I don't like the idea of sticking something to my eyeball and dealing with the headache of getting new packs every month. I find contacts rather asinine when glasses have worked for hundreds of years.

Plus, I feel I look better with them. I despise my face enough without them, I think glasses give me a bit more of a scholarly, intelligent air. they give me a modicum of confidence. And I fear making the switch, that people will see through the chance, and call me out for being desperate or something. I don't want to draw attention to myself for how I change, but who I am.



MoonriseGirl
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12 May 2013, 12:54 am

You did a wonderful job on your profile. If I were looking through profiles, you would be at least in the top 1 or 2 as far as how much interest I had in you, how likeable you seem, & how much relationship potential you seem to exhibit. Your personality shines through. You did it! Congratulations! :)

You're also really cute, in my opinion. It was pretty heartbreaking what you wrote in response to Boo's comment about your running photo. It is shallow to consider appearances as all that important, but women will find you attractive according to the current standard. Please don't go there anymore....with the things you said about yourself. Don't even think it anymore, because it won't benefit you & it just isn't true. Incidentally, some girls love glasses, so I wouldn't worry about that either.

Also, I didn't find it was too long at all. A longer profile is good, because it demonstrates that a guy cares about this enough to invest more than three seconds on his profile. It makes you look more serious & to write that much without saying anything negative or creepy is a great sign! Lots of guys can't do that! haha

If you want to cut a part out, it should be the 3rd paragraph, because basically, this is fairly evident from the rest of the profile. However, if you decide to keep it, I'd add the missing dash in "all-encompassing." Also, I would try to figure out your favorite food if possible. Or at least let us know you can't decide. :)

I have two final considerations for you. I'm not arrogant. I'm not perfect, but I am a great girl. I don't lie. I don't cheat. If someone were in a coma I'd read to them every day & do their PT exercises... I'm not boring in real life, even if I may seem so in cyberspace haha... I love people for who they are, give them plenty of room & make no drama. Probably for these reasons, most people I know try to go out with me, marry me, or at least date me.... So, it seems like I might be a pretty good catch. :)

However, I would have never had the opportunity to meet you, and that's too bad, because we could have totally geeked out about the Federalist Papers, and that would have been really fun. Even if you hadn't wanted to meet, isn't it still best to have your options open & have the ability to say no? :)

Here are the 2 reasons you would have never known I exist if you lived in my town & I were online dating. First: I'm 36. Depending on your town, perhaps there are lots of women who share interests with you, but maybe not. If you don't have an extremely logical reason for not widening the age bracket, it could definitely behoove you to do that. Lots of times, older women are more accepting of quirks or idiosyncrasies, because they have lived long enough to value character the way they should. Some people are ageless.

The second thing that would have stopped me is that you are looking for a woman with ambition to go to the top. What if her ambitions are to have a family but still pursue her own things, but she isn't motivated so much by the usual social perimeters of success? What if she defines success in a different way? What if her goals & dreams are so whimsical as to render it unlikely she would achieve them? What if ambitious isn't an accurate word to describe her? Would you still be interested? If so, I'd consider rephrasing that. Otherwise, you might be shrinking your pool of choices without realizing it.

If I read this my impression would be... "Wow! What an amazing guy! Oh, looks like he won't like me. Nevermind." lol Now, if you wouldn't like someone like me, that actually could be great, because it should save you time. :) I don't judge at all, because people are all looking for different things. It's just that it's good to check & make sure you really thought about these things, just in case!

I am excited for you & think you will find lots of opportunities soon to have just what you want in life, not only in your career, but in love as well. I wish you the best of luck & hope you find lots of joy! You should update us, too, & let us know how it goes. :)



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12 May 2013, 2:20 am

Good profile and good photo but my overall impression was it was a bit too wordy.

Online sites are basically ads for people trying to find someone. Most ads are few in word and designed to catch the eye. They also promote the most important idea near the top.

You won an Emmy for your work; you aren't just another hack or wanna-be who tells everyone they are a producer, director, whatever, but they really are (only) a dreamer. You went out and accomplished.

That idea should be forefront, in my opinion, or at least near the top after your basic intro about your personality or self.

Then, talk about hobbies. (I'd keep that list to two or three.)

ETA: I've just peeked at the profile again and I think the intro reads like a resume, not a love letter. I'd promote the idea you are looking to find a person with creative interests who would enjoy watching movies with you. Someone to share popcorn with. That's the type of thing a woman can envision. :)

If you want more feedback let me know.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 May 2013, 3:39 am

Popsicle wrote:
Good profile and good photo but my overall impression was it was a bit too wordy.

Online sites are basically ads for people trying to find someone. Most ads are few in word and designed to catch the eye. They also promote the most important idea near the top.

You won an Emmy for your work; you aren't just another hack or wanna-be who tells everyone they are a producer, director, whatever, but they really are (only) a dreamer. You went out and accomplished.

That idea should be forefront, in my opinion, or at least near the top after your basic intro about your personality or self.

Then, talk about hobbies. (I'd keep that list to two or three.)

ETA: I've just peeked at the profile again and I think the intro reads like a resume, not a love letter. I'd promote the idea you are looking to find a person with creative interests who would enjoy watching movies with you. Someone to share popcorn with. That's the type of thing a woman can envision. :)

If you want more feedback let me know.


Two other ladies here told him he was trying too hard to impress.

Putting Emmy as a start what would make him sound???



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12 May 2013, 4:30 am

Well I can only speak for myself.

He should lead with personable traits and why he wants a mate, but be subtle about it.

What I meant about Emmy was move it more toward the top. And rather than 'bury the lead' in a paragraph about his work experience, say something briefer like "Emmy winning (job description)."

I was trying to subtly say he might bore them and lose their interest before they ever get to read the good stuff.

Not many people win Emmys and most people who read dating sites probably read a lot of profiles in a given log in. They don't pay that much attention for very long. That's why I said it is like an ad.

ETA: Maybe they thought in listing so many things he seemed like he was trying to put something out there for everyone. But I don't know. That can also be a way of trying too hard to impress. Or maybe they meant his text could be more casual or conversational. I could rewrite it for him but I don't know how much is their format. That isn't to say he would have to keep what I wrote.

PS I didn't like the "mind like a steel trap" thing - again that isn't something that's going to spell romance. Women might feel confused why he put that in there. I might even wonder if he's the type who never forgets a slight. Remember if he's going for an NT they read between the lines all the time. I think he could pare it down a lot, and have there be a good reason why everything left is there.