OliveOilMom wrote:
What do you think of poly relationships? Would you ever consider being in one? Why or why not? Would you be ok with sharing your partner as well, or just ok with having two or more partners yourself? That last one is kind of difficult. I am not sure I would be ok with sharing my husband, I think I would get really jealous unless the other girl involved was one of my good friends. I only know of two that I wouldn't mind sharing him with. I actually share Ole Boy with them. If you are in a relationship now, do you think your partner would be ok with the idea?
Also, do you think polygamy should be legal? I think it should.
To each their own.
My concern would be:
The abundance of polygamous societies are male driven, male controlled and male led. The males benefit most from it. I have heard a lot of bad things about existing such societies. I will not go into that point more, anyone who was paying attention to media in the past couple years has heard the same stuff.
Interpersonal dynamics:
Competition among the plural partners. Whether it's a marriage or a harem, there is always infighting, jealousy, backstabbing, etc.
Some people I have seen on documentaries about polyamory have said their trio or quadrangle works for them. It did sometimes seem that one person was lovesick though and only put up with it because they loved one of the people in it. In other words, a power imbalance seems built into it.
Sometimes it's built on sexual exploitation.
If the people involved are well adjusted, transparent to one another about motives and prospects and goals, I suppose it could work for some?
I'm not jealous minded but I'd rather know if someone isn't monogamous or loyal so I could leave them to find someone else. I don't want to put all my resources into a person only to have them divert all of that onto someone else. It just would not work, for me. I don't want to be judged as being a Puritan (who actually had some rollicking fun, just lots of rules about it) or frigid or rigid or conservative for what to me is part of my natural response to such things. Any more than polyamorous people want to be judged as "sluts."
In short I am concerned with exploitation of power, not with who other people have sex with.
I think mostly men join those swingers clubs or polyamory organizations because a lot of them are just after group sex.