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I am turning into a Misogynist.

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marshall
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23 May 2013, 2:44 pm

zacb wrote:
I never really intended to, but I feel like I am turning into a misogynist. I am hating how women (at least the ones I run into) flake, how they are superficial, how they don't talk about anything but school and other stupid sh**, how they are complete sluts, and how they want equal rights, yet when you try to be nice and accommodating and be democratic ( I am a pacifist, and so I believe in compromise and such), you are a nice guy, or worse, a creeper. In all honesty, I am starting to wish the worse on there first born yada yada etc. . I hate to be this way, but it seems like the women I am running into are complete b*****s. Doesn't even matter if they are "moral", Christians, or whatever, they seem like b*****s that should go to hell. I am sorry, but the more I see of life, the more I feel like a nihilist, sexist, etc. . I want to see the best in people, but people are not giving me a lot to work with. Add to the fact that IDK if I could find the one, since my interests are weird (won't repeats, but even voluntaryism and pacifism are in a slim minority), and I try to be nice. But in any case, I am starting to rationalize being a player, even though I know it is wrong, but it seems like the only way to get my mind off the sadness. Thanks, and sorry for offending any sensible folks, you can discard this message, this message doesn't apply to you.


Call me a naive idiot that's never dated or whatever, but I don't think being a "nice guy" is a turnoff. Its probably the opposite. Being too passive and not giving them enough of the kind of attention they want (not necessarily flirting, just complimenting them, taking an interest in their experiences, etc...) is the turnoff. You can't go for women you are sexually attracted to but find too boring to have a conversation with. You also have to realize it's not always about you. Girls can flake out because they feel just as awkward and unconfidant as you. It's rude, yea, but it might not have anything to do with you. Not until you get pissed off and act pushy that they get nasty. Acting more "alpha" or being a "player" isn't going to help IMO. Competing for horny women who like that kind of thing is pointless. Chances are the women were sexually attracted to you (which is why they didn't reject right away) but it was a social skills issue. Perhaps I'm way off, it's hard to me to know, so don't take anything the wrong way.



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23 May 2013, 2:54 pm

marshall wrote:
Call me a naive idiot that's never dated or whatever, but I don't think being a "nice guy" is a turnoff. Its probably the opposite. Being too passive and not giving them enough of the kind of attention they want (not necessarily flirting, just complimenting them, taking an interest in their experiences, etc...) is the turnoff. You can't go for women you are sexually attracted to but find too boring to have a conversation with. You also have to realize it's not always about you. Girls can flake out because they feel just as awkward and unconfidant as you. It's rude, yea, but it might not have anything to do with you. Not until you get pissed off and act pushy that they get nasty. Acting more "alpha" or being a "player" isn't going to help IMO. Competing for horny women who like that kind of thing is pointless. Chances are the women were sexually attracted to you (which is why they didn't reject right away) but it was a social skills issue. Perhaps I'm way off, it's hard to me to know, so don't take anything the wrong way.

Quoted for being spot on and well said. :)



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23 May 2013, 3:00 pm

marshall wrote:
zacb wrote:
I never really intended to, but I feel like I am turning into a misogynist. I am hating how women (at least the ones I run into) flake, how they are superficial, how they don't talk about anything but school and other stupid sh**, how they are complete sluts, and how they want equal rights, yet when you try to be nice and accommodating and be democratic ( I am a pacifist, and so I believe in compromise and such), you are a nice guy, or worse, a creeper. In all honesty, I am starting to wish the worse on there first born yada yada etc. . I hate to be this way, but it seems like the women I am running into are complete b*****s. Doesn't even matter if they are "moral", Christians, or whatever, they seem like b*****s that should go to hell. I am sorry, but the more I see of life, the more I feel like a nihilist, sexist, etc. . I want to see the best in people, but people are not giving me a lot to work with. Add to the fact that IDK if I could find the one, since my interests are weird (won't repeats, but even voluntaryism and pacifism are in a slim minority), and I try to be nice. But in any case, I am starting to rationalize being a player, even though I know it is wrong, but it seems like the only way to get my mind off the sadness. Thanks, and sorry for offending any sensible folks, you can discard this message, this message doesn't apply to you.


Call me a naive idiot that's never dated or whatever, but I don't think being a "nice guy" is a turnoff. Its probably the opposite. Being too passive and not giving them enough of the kind of attention they want (not necessarily flirting, just complimenting them, taking an interest in their experiences, etc...) is the turnoff. You can't go for women you are sexually attracted to but find too boring to have a conversation with. You also have to realize it's not always about you. Girls can flake out because they feel just as awkward and unconfidant as you. It's rude, yea, but it might not have anything to do with you. Not until you get pissed off and act pushy that they get nasty. Acting more "alpha" or being a "player" isn't going to help IMO. Competing for horny women who like that kind of thing is pointless. Chances are the women were sexually attracted to you (which is why they didn't reject right away) but it was a social skills issue. Perhaps I'm way off, it's hard to me to know, so don't take anything the wrong way.


Yes, being a nice guy can be a turnoff. It can also be sexist. Men who treat women with kid gloves or put women on a pedestal out of a sense of outdated chivalry are nice guys and sexist at the same time.

I try to treat women like I treat men--no chivalry, no special favors, no glass doll complex--and it often works, though I do get called an as*hole a lot. I often have arguments with women that are completely nonsexual in nature, and most of my arch enemies IRL are women. But there's nothing sexual or gendered about it. Just personality clashes and the fact that I don't bend over backwards to please women like most guys do.

Guys who are like "I love women and just want to protect them" are disgusting to me. It's creepy and sexist. It's probably why they don't get laid, in spite of being a "nice guy." Chivalry is gross. I don't believe it's my job to protect anyone other than myself.

There are two ways to come across that attract women (1) blatant machisimo and (2) support for actual gender equality/often appears as just not caring about society's rules. Men who try too hard to be chivalrous and put women on a pedestal are the ones who usually get hit by pepper spray.



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23 May 2013, 3:21 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
Chivalry is gross. I don't believe it's my job to protect anyone other than myself.


Yay, so enlightened of a viewpoint.

Anyway, biologically, men are stronger than women, and this is just about non-debatable. Thus, why wouldn't a man protecting a woman be natural if biologically men are stronger physically?



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23 May 2013, 3:53 pm

1000Knives wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
Chivalry is gross. I don't believe it's my job to protect anyone other than myself.


Yay, so enlightened of a viewpoint.

Anyway, biologically, men are stronger than women, and this is just about non-debatable. Thus, why wouldn't a man protecting a woman be natural if biologically men are stronger physically?


It's not my job to protect weak guys either. And not all men are stronger than all women. So it has nothing to do with gender. It's not my job as a man to protect women simply because they are women. That's what pepper spray is for. I have better things to do with my time.

Besides, the usual Nice Guy TM idea of chivalry goes far far beyond simply walking with your lady friends to the car at night (which isn't sexist btw since women do this with each other). I think most women are capable of opening doors and packages for themselves, and if they get into an argument, they don't need to be protected from profanity and hurt feelings.

The reason why being a nice guy (putting women on a pedestal) is creepy is because the same type who does that is often overly possessive and stalkerish when he doesn't get his way. So it's simply frightening.



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23 May 2013, 4:00 pm

Well stereotypes make the world go 'round I guess.



marshall
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23 May 2013, 4:39 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
marshall wrote:
zacb wrote:
I never really intended to, but I feel like I am turning into a misogynist. I am hating how women (at least the ones I run into) flake, how they are superficial, how they don't talk about anything but school and other stupid sh**, how they are complete sluts, and how they want equal rights, yet when you try to be nice and accommodating and be democratic ( I am a pacifist, and so I believe in compromise and such), you are a nice guy, or worse, a creeper. In all honesty, I am starting to wish the worse on there first born yada yada etc. . I hate to be this way, but it seems like the women I am running into are complete b*****s. Doesn't even matter if they are "moral", Christians, or whatever, they seem like b*****s that should go to hell. I am sorry, but the more I see of life, the more I feel like a nihilist, sexist, etc. . I want to see the best in people, but people are not giving me a lot to work with. Add to the fact that IDK if I could find the one, since my interests are weird (won't repeats, but even voluntaryism and pacifism are in a slim minority), and I try to be nice. But in any case, I am starting to rationalize being a player, even though I know it is wrong, but it seems like the only way to get my mind off the sadness. Thanks, and sorry for offending any sensible folks, you can discard this message, this message doesn't apply to you.


Call me a naive idiot that's never dated or whatever, but I don't think being a "nice guy" is a turnoff. Its probably the opposite. Being too passive and not giving them enough of the kind of attention they want (not necessarily flirting, just complimenting them, taking an interest in their experiences, etc...) is the turnoff. You can't go for women you are sexually attracted to but find too boring to have a conversation with. You also have to realize it's not always about you. Girls can flake out because they feel just as awkward and unconfidant as you. It's rude, yea, but it might not have anything to do with you. Not until you get pissed off and act pushy that they get nasty. Acting more "alpha" or being a "player" isn't going to help IMO. Competing for horny women who like that kind of thing is pointless. Chances are the women were sexually attracted to you (which is why they didn't reject right away) but it was a social skills issue. Perhaps I'm way off, it's hard to me to know, so don't take anything the wrong way.


Yes, being a nice guy can be a turnoff. It can also be sexist. Men who treat women with kid gloves or put women on a pedestal out of a sense of outdated chivalry are nice guys and sexist at the same time.

I try to treat women like I treat men--no chivalry, no special favors, no glass doll complex--and it often works, though I do get called an as*hole a lot. I often have arguments with women that are completely nonsexual in nature, and most of my arch enemies IRL are women. But there's nothing sexual or gendered about it. Just personality clashes and the fact that I don't bend over backwards to please women like most guys do.

Guys who are like "I love women and just want to protect them" are disgusting to me. It's creepy and sexist. It's probably why they don't get laid, in spite of being a "nice guy." Chivalry is gross. I don't believe it's my job to protect anyone other than myself.

There are two ways to come across that attract women (1) blatant machisimo and (2) support for actual gender equality/often appears as just not caring about society's rules. Men who try too hard to be chivalrous and put women on a pedestal are the ones who usually get hit by pepper spray.


BPD black-and-white thinking and projecting here. Being creepy, possessive, and overly chivalrous, is an NT guy problem. However, most women don't like to be ignored all evening while their boyfriend plays video games and then be expected to be in the mood for sex. That is the far more common AS problem. As is taking rejection personally due to low self-esteem, not getting the hint, AND THEN getting in trouble for harassing behavior. I tend to believe what NT women actually say than what men on this forum project on them. Yea, your advice might work for women who are horny and looking for one night stands but that's just you, not every guy on this forum wants that.



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23 May 2013, 5:04 pm

I am turning into a Werewolf.



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23 May 2013, 5:25 pm

1000Knives wrote:
Well stereotypes make the world go 'round I guess.
Stereotypes are socially constructed and not rooted in fact.........



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23 May 2013, 5:34 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
Chivalry is gross. I don't believe it's my job to protect anyone other than myself.


Yay, so enlightened of a viewpoint.

Anyway, biologically, men are stronger than women, and this is just about non-debatable. Thus, why wouldn't a man protecting a woman be natural if biologically men are stronger physically?


It's not my job to protect weak guys either. And not all men are stronger than all women. So it has nothing to do with gender. It's not my job as a man to protect women simply because they are women. That's what pepper spray is for. I have better things to do with my time.

Besides, the usual Nice Guy TM idea of chivalry goes far far beyond simply walking with your lady friends to the car at night (which isn't sexist btw since women do this with each other). I think most women are capable of opening doors and packages for themselves, and if they get into an argument, they don't need to be protected from profanity and hurt feelings.

The reason why being a nice guy (putting women on a pedestal) is creepy is because the same type who does that is often overly possessive and stalkerish when he doesn't get his way. So it's simply frightening.


THIS. It is so CREEPY to be overly nice and act like it's your goddamn job to protect women. We aren't children, we aren't defenseless animals, and the fact that you can't see us on the same level as you see men is a clear indicator that you are a potential threat.


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23 May 2013, 5:39 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am turning into a Werewolf.


Mee too, brawwgghh, werewolf chivalry is the new cool, we are what the ladies want, brawwrrghh!


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23 May 2013, 5:44 pm

meems wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
Chivalry is gross. I don't believe it's my job to protect anyone other than myself.


Yay, so enlightened of a viewpoint.

Anyway, biologically, men are stronger than women, and this is just about non-debatable. Thus, why wouldn't a man protecting a woman be natural if biologically men are stronger physically?


It's not my job to protect weak guys either. And not all men are stronger than all women. So it has nothing to do with gender. It's not my job as a man to protect women simply because they are women. That's what pepper spray is for. I have better things to do with my time.

Besides, the usual Nice Guy TM idea of chivalry goes far far beyond simply walking with your lady friends to the car at night (which isn't sexist btw since women do this with each other). I think most women are capable of opening doors and packages for themselves, and if they get into an argument, they don't need to be protected from profanity and hurt feelings.

The reason why being a nice guy (putting women on a pedestal) is creepy is because the same type who does that is often overly possessive and stalkerish when he doesn't get his way. So it's simply frightening.


THIS. It is so CREEPY to be overly nice and act like it's your goddamn job to protect women. We aren't children, we aren't defenseless animals, and the fact that you can't see us on the same level as you see men is a clear indicator that you are a potential threat.


Brawwrrgh, that's why tough women are attractive, no arguments about this rubbish, braawwrrghh, I want to just get along with the ladies, brawrrrgh!!


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23 May 2013, 5:53 pm

meems wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
Chivalry is gross. I don't believe it's my job to protect anyone other than myself.


Yay, so enlightened of a viewpoint.

Anyway, biologically, men are stronger than women, and this is just about non-debatable. Thus, why wouldn't a man protecting a woman be natural if biologically men are stronger physically?


It's not my job to protect weak guys either. And not all men are stronger than all women. So it has nothing to do with gender. It's not my job as a man to protect women simply because they are women. That's what pepper spray is for. I have better things to do with my time.

Besides, the usual Nice Guy TM idea of chivalry goes far far beyond simply walking with your lady friends to the car at night (which isn't sexist btw since women do this with each other). I think most women are capable of opening doors and packages for themselves, and if they get into an argument, they don't need to be protected from profanity and hurt feelings.

The reason why being a nice guy (putting women on a pedestal) is creepy is because the same type who does that is often overly possessive and stalkerish when he doesn't get his way. So it's simply frightening.


THIS. It is so CREEPY to be overly nice and act like it's your goddamn job to protect women. We aren't children, we aren't defenseless animals, and the fact that you can't see us on the same level as you see men is a clear indicator that you are a potential threat.


I'm a mysogynist now so I'm no longer nice to women.



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23 May 2013, 6:10 pm

1000Knives wrote:
meems wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
Chivalry is gross. I don't believe it's my job to protect anyone other than myself.


Yay, so enlightened of a viewpoint.

Anyway, biologically, men are stronger than women, and this is just about non-debatable. Thus, why wouldn't a man protecting a woman be natural if biologically men are stronger physically?


It's not my job to protect weak guys either. And not all men are stronger than all women. So it has nothing to do with gender. It's not my job as a man to protect women simply because they are women. That's what pepper spray is for. I have better things to do with my time.

Besides, the usual Nice Guy TM idea of chivalry goes far far beyond simply walking with your lady friends to the car at night (which isn't sexist btw since women do this with each other). I think most women are capable of opening doors and packages for themselves, and if they get into an argument, they don't need to be protected from profanity and hurt feelings.

The reason why being a nice guy (putting women on a pedestal) is creepy is because the same type who does that is often overly possessive and stalkerish when he doesn't get his way. So it's simply frightening.


THIS. It is so CREEPY to be overly nice and act like it's your goddamn job to protect women. We aren't children, we aren't defenseless animals, and the fact that you can't see us on the same level as you see men is a clear indicator that you are a potential threat.


I'm a mysogynist now so I'm no longer nice to women.


From what I can tell, women who want to be treated like jack arses are jack arses, your just going downhill, shooting yourself in the foot ,while your foot is in your mouth.


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23 May 2013, 6:15 pm

Nice girls don't exist anymore. Just like nice guys don't. So it's fine.



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23 May 2013, 6:25 pm

1000Knives wrote:
Nice girls don't exist anymore. Just like nice guys don't. So it's fine.


Hehehehehehehehehe heh, wrong! I know plenty of 'nice' girls and almost no Nice Girls™ as you put it. I like ladies, what made all you guys dislike each other? I'm gonna bow out now, you guys seem to want to be hopeless.


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