Never had a girlfriend at 21. I feel sad and lonely???

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I'm 18 and I've only dated online. Don't worry about it.

I'm going to be 24 this September and I'm STILL a virgin and I liked the same guy since high school his name's Jon and this fall it will be 7 years that I liked him!
Everyone tells me to get over him, but I can't! If I do, I'll just like another guy only to be shut down again, at least I won't see Jon ever again, but some idiot girl sent me a message about him, which I did not read, because I knew it would upset me, I just saw the word Florida. I don't want to be reminded that he'll never love me! I lost 28 pounds, which I'm happy, because I'm more attractive, but since that girl sent me that message last week I've been all depressed about Jon again!
I always fear that Jon will marry a woman more beautiful than me and have perfect children and I'll marry a big fat loser and have horrible children. I know my children will most likely suffer from Aspergers and I'm sure since God seems to hate me, they'll be pregnant teens, drug addicts, sex offenders, criminals, or severely Autistic/mentally disabled. Also they may die young and then I'll have to live with the death of a child.

*I'm not saying all teen parents are bad, I just wouldn't want my kids procreating before age 25.

'Hotter and fresher' - if you think about women as food then I don't think 'settling' for a woman of any age is a crime for you, it's a massive privilege to even touch women if that's how you think of them.

I'm so glad I like women as a woman rather than as a man at times like this. Society hasn't taught me any entitlement to other women's bodies. I have no luck in getting sex these days but if I did, I'd be able to enjoy it without all this silly status s**t and worries about 'how many' my partner had before me.

im in nj too ';p

I believe you are looking into this too serious - there are no standards on when one should start the dating experience - care about doing things you love if you want the Love of your life to meet you...wall while at the same time, being 21 is still very, very young to be concerned about having not dated.

Very unlikely that "no one wants them." More likely that they just couldn't recognize when people did want them, they give off a "don't talk to me" or "cold" first impression because they don't know they're supposed to smile and make eye contact and make stupid small talk, they have unrealistic expectations, etc.

They also may or may not be unhappy. You can't say someone's life is sh***y just because they aren't in a relationship... Maybe love is the #1 priority for you, but that isn't necessarily the case for everyone else. I've never been on a date and that fact doesn't bother me at all. I'm obviously interested in relationships because I'm reading this sub-forum, but I'm not sure if it's actually something I would actually want to be part of really.

Also, somebody once said, "Don't marry a woman because of her looks - they all end up looking like Yoda anyways."

28 here.

Dunno about others, but I think in my case it's more due to lacking opportunities. Apparently a lot of girls look at me but I rarely get to speak to females. It's not easy given my male-dominated job either (programmer).

A lot of girls look at you, but you rarely speak to them? Why are you not using the best of the advantageous situation (in comparison to that where you cannot get a single glance) to make the best of it? And "programmer", in the days when 90% of the content on the Internet has been produced in the last 2 years, the era of Geeks , finds it hard? I think you need to cheer up mate, everything is going quite alright for you and you should take slow, certain steps.

I'm pretty sure forcing women into non-consenting relationships and intimacy is also a crime.
What you described is a shame, perhaps, but not a crime.

Also, no one is forcing anyone to do anything. If a person chooses something, then they are not forced by hand.
Additionally, they dont' have to settle for any woman. They could just remain single.

Women are not a product and men are not the sole "consumer" for women. Both have rights to like and dislike what they do.
If you had more experience or foresight you'd know this.

*sigh* I wish I could stop myself from picking at flaws in posts. And to think, this was only one of the sentences.

I remember when I was looking at colleges, I was stuck between 2. One of them was a big tech school, the other was a more general university. I went to accepted students day for the tech school and it seemed awesome. There was a big meeting thing for lunch where everybody gathered and sat at tables in this big open room. I remember looking around and seeing that the male/female ratio was like 15:1, and thinking "wait a minute... if I go here I'll pretty much have no chance of ever even seeing a girl." I knew I was socially handicapped so the chances were low to begin with, and putting myself into a situation like that would result in me just never interacting with girls at all.

Went to the more all-around university that had big nursing program. Good decision.

*Apparently* being the operative word here. When I go out I'm usually alone or with my dad, and he says I often miss them when they look at me. Others have said so as well.

My problem is that I don't know how to take advantage of the situation. Usually it happens in places where there isn't a real chance for conversation, and I don't know where to go to take advantage of that attention.

I did find it easier when I travelled to the US, however. I don't know if it's because Americans are more open.



Too late for me unfortunately, unless I pursue a masters degree

Well it's not like I really took advantage of the situation which is a shame... But at least I did interact with girls a lot more than I would have otherwise which is good.

To be fair, I did take classes outside of computer science (mostly poli sci, but also Russian). Far more females in those programs, and people were more likely to talk too. I even got to talk to a few of them, but was too focused on my work and wasn't socially aware enough. So many wasted opportunities, and not just for girls, but friends as well, if I had kept in touch.

I think with older women, it's just the same. Some have gone from "kinda crazy and neurotic" to "completely crazy and neurotic" and others have learned from their mistakes and turned into smarter and nicer people over time. At least this is my experience working/being around a zillion middle aged wimmenz.

They either get/are already nice or become the most miserable bitter people you've ever met.

it would be easy to stop yourself if you didnt twist my post jsut because you dont like me. btw when did ever talk about rape(you mention nonconsentual)?

well then i dont feel as bad for you since you dont sound completely hopeless, but then again i can empathize with you. It isnt your fault that your social skills screwed things up. Reality is, your situation probably wont improve. Im not going to lie to you like the optimists here who think if you are a good little boy and focus on graduating college and getting that 10 dollar per hour job at mcdonalds when you are finished, you will have a nice 50 year old woman who is tired of having wild sex with a new club guy every night.

reality is, the years pass by, and they pass fast. I was a 16 year old virgin crying over my situation, and now im a soon to be 24 year old guy, and tomorrow ill be 60. In the next 5 years while im hoping one decent looking girl will kiss me and not be repulsed, some guy who has many flaws but is normal will be screwing 12 girls in 5 years.

life is a dirty game but i am blessed for many things...unfortunately what i am not blessed with is being a hot commodity.

BTW, if you don't like my opinion, fine, but dont call them flaws. I actually have expertise in the area of being a hopeless virgin. Im world renowned and sought after globally or my knowledge in this area!