Ugly Girl Entitlement Disorder (UGED) = Nice Guy (TM)?

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29 Jul 2013, 6:52 am

Yeah, you get girls like that. You also get attractive girls who aim artificially low (moreso than guys who do that.)

I'm not all that physically attractive (my face is fairly pretty but my figure is very homely) so I don't really have it as a big criteria for a partner. I can be attracted to people who aren't really generally considered attractive, anyway (I do that all the time.) Being too attractive would put me off. I do really value independence, though - having your own income, not relying on family, etc - but I'm not hypocritical with that because I'm independent myself.

People with hypocritical standards abound and I don't take them seriously.

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29 Jul 2013, 7:02 am

Tyri0n wrote:

Jasper1 wrote:

I have noticed quite a few overweight, sometimes very obese, also regular sized unattractive women who have similar ideals to the OP's first post.

Getting the chance to actually here them really talk, I've found that some of them actually have a higher than normal amount of sex partners. Often with guys that fit or are close to their criteria. You wouldn't initially think that's the case when you look at them. AT ALL.

The thing is that these men use them for extremely easily attainable sex when sex from more desirable women isn't as forthcoming. Basically, in the sexual lean times that every man goes through. This is often why "nice guys" are not even looked at or considered by these women and don't have a chance. They are being "occupied" on their spare time by more "Alpha Male" types that seem to get around to f***ing damn near all women not just the more "desirable" ones. That's why I think in a lot of cases some women aren't as hard up for sex. They are getting it, even when they are not in a relationship and don't feel the need to place requirements on Alpha Males. That's why they are technically still single and still pretty much alone.

The reason why you don't actually SEE this happening is cause the Alpha males aren't required to have friendships with them, take them out on dates, buy them stuff, or be seen with them in public at all. All he has to do is show up and he gets what he wants, how he wants, whenever he wants. To top it off, he doesn't have to reciprocate a damn thing if he doesn't want to. He's got all the control. She will do quite happily things to please them that she won't do for a regular guy. Not even in a committed relationship.

To make matters worse, women often don't "count" these interactions when discussing sexual history, because technically these men are not boyfriends, and they will only feel like sluts if they bring it up. They also don't want the regular guy to know that they can have sex with abandon that often primarily focuses on pleasuring the male, because frankly, the regular guy doesn't have what it takes to bring that out of them.

Also, the interactions with these men can often continue even when she finds an actual boyfriend. He is likely much less dominant and she can pretty much control him with behaviors such as withholding affection and sex. Afterall, she's not hard up for it.

Anyways, I kind of digressed. The point that I'm making is that these women often do in fact have relations with the kind of men they are looking for which makes them hopeful that in the future they can actually land one for a committed relationship that they can tell the world about and have a nice life with. It's not the case, they just get strung along for sex by partners that only want them in the bedroom, car, office, etc.
.

You're basically describing pump and dump.

I think in many cases, this is not "getting what they want." This is getting pumped and dumped. Although these women feel entitled to the moon, they are not really worth most mens' time except for casual sex. What's even more amusing is when these entitled women act shocked and offended and decide that "men are as*holes" because 8/10 men won't commit to a relationship with a 4/10 woman.

Stuff like this makes me glad I'm not straight. I wouldn't have sex that was focused solely on pleasuring the male even if he was 10/10 and a model, or whatever. I'm not that into men that I wouldn't want everything to be mutually pleasurable. I don't have that in me to 'bring out'.

My biggest, most stubborn criteria I have for a partner is NOT being like that.

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Jasper1
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29 Jul 2013, 7:07 am

Well pump and dump, to me anyways, usually implies that the guy was probably somewhere in their league or at least close. That there was active deception involved to make the woman believe they were headed to a relationship, and after the guy got what he wanted he actually dumped her.

The stuff I'm talking about is when the guy is clearly out of her league and doesn't have to resort to that BS because she is already incredibly attracted to him and already built him up in her mind to the point where any interaction with him is extremely welcome. Therefore lowering her standards and her barriers to the point where he has absolutely no requirements for sexual activity. In fact, she is probably the one engaging and trying to seduce him. If he's getting all the signals that this lady wants him to pounce he might as well go for it if he has nothing better to do. The "relationship" is all pretty much in her head and hopes, and he can carry it on for as long as he wants to cause it's all in private and secret anyway.

I do find that the women involved in these things do often come to the realization that nothing is going to come of it. They are using him for fantasy and sex, he's using them for sex and ego, but she may have a hard time breaking away cause they usually get obsessed. If they stop "seeing" each other at some point. She still has the actual experience to draw on that says, she actually "had" a man like that. Maybe next time she will be more "lucky" in getting to "keep" the next guy.

You would think that those guys have incredibly high standards because you only SEE them with the hottest women. The truth is most of them don't and will f**k anything that moves. They just do their dirty in private, and keep the trophies for show when they are in public.

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29 Jul 2013, 7:43 am

What jasper said does happen more than most people realise. But I think there are some minor things different in the things I have observed. First, even guys like that at least have to make a bit of an effort for the first time or times, even sometimes or often making them believe they actually have a chance or even half a chance. After that, it's all on the down low. And even then those girls only usually let those guys come back if they're good at sex (which often they are) - as in making her pleasure a real priority, otherwise they drop them for a guy who will. And a lot of women of all kinds I know do this - and none of them ever really talk openly about it, even with those they are close to, but yes it is more common for the particular type we are speaking about. I have no doubt they get into it with the intent of wanting a relationship with said guy - so many are end up as booty calls in the process, unhappy about it but unable or unwilling to let go.

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Jasper1
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29 Jul 2013, 7:53 am

Yeah, what I'm talking about is THE most extreme of that situation.

Lightweight alphas at least have to do a bit of "socializing" and reciprocating.

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29 Jul 2013, 8:08 am

Jasper1 wrote:

One of the biggest turn offs for me are men that are average to below average in looks yet critize some of the most beautiful celebrities there are out there. Not being attracted to someone is one thing, but calling someone like Natalie Portman or Beyonce ugly or ´gross´ or ´disgusting´ is stupid and makes you look pathetic. I´ve come across many of these men on the internet. So unattractive to many women.

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29 Jul 2013, 8:27 am

Quote:

Just like my old colleague who was a girl. She had all these requirements for a guy she would date. The list she told me was as follows:

- She wanted him to have his own place
- She wanted him to have a licence and a car
- She wanted him to have a job
- She wanted him to be mostly independent from his family
- She wanted him to be super religious
- She wanted him to be good looking
- She wanted him to be fit
- She wanted him to be accepting

The problem with all of this? She still lived with her parents. She didn't have a licence or a car. She only had a casual job. She was totally dependent on her family. She was not good looking at all. She was the last thing from fit - very overweight. She was not accepting at all and was very judgemental. She is however, super religious.

When I asked her why any guy would want to sdate her, her answer was "I am me, any guy will be lucky to have me." When I asked what she brought to the table, she said "I am nice and a good person." Yeah - but she only had 1 of the traits in her own list that she actually met. If she has only one, why would a guy like that look twice at her? He won't.

She believes in herself; Good for her!
She's no different from most people, then, everyone wants someone better off than themselves, and men in particular are happiest when their girlfriend/wife is better looking than them. Good for her for not letting anyone or anything put her down. It always pleases me to see a female say f u to stereotypes and expectations.
No-one should feel like they are settling for less than what they'd wish when they get into a relationship. Even if you want a relationship, it's better to be single than with someone who doesn't make you happy.

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Jasper1
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29 Jul 2013, 8:58 am

Skilpadde wrote:

Quote:

I agree with what you are saying to an extent. It's good to be confident and believe in yourself. It's also better to be that way and be realistic.

For example, I knew a girl in school. She was somebody that straddled friend and acquaintance. We got along. Not really someone I wanted a relationship with. She ONLY wanted a boyfriend that was like some movie star she was infatuated with, and made it clear to me that he was her type and she wouldn't settle for lesser. I was like OK, didn't feel why she needed to be so forthcoming cause I never put "the moves' on her and didn't intend to. Actually if I did intend to that would have been an extreme turn off and I probably would have just left her completely alone, because she basically told me I could never be good enough for her EVER. :lol:

As of last year, she still has NEVER had a boyfriend. Never had the experiences to find out what her type may be in a guy that isn't a movie star. She's in her 30's now and still lonely and dreaming. Trust me, if she met said superstar or someone like him she wouldn't stand a chance. She was overweight, plain looking, and she didn't have a personality to write home about either. She seemed pretty normal though. The point is if she never gets over her IMPOSSIBLY high ideals, she WILL miss out on having a great guy. In fact, I'm sure she's missed out on a few.

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29 Jul 2013, 9:12 am

Skilpadde wrote:

Quote:

You missed her whole point, the girl in question isn't being realistic.

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29 Jul 2013, 11:40 am

What I don't understand is why would a guy sleep with a woman he finds ugly? Do guys sleep with woman they are not attracted to, to just get sex? And how would a woman then know if the guy is actually attracted to them or not?

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29 Jul 2013, 11:48 am

belladonna25 wrote:

Don't understand that either.

Jasper1
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29 Jul 2013, 11:58 am

belladonna25 wrote:

Extremely high sex drive coupled with a constant narcissistic need for ego gratification. It feels good to be worshiped.

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29 Jul 2013, 5:28 pm

You could be overwhelmingly good-looking, rich, kindhearted, loyal and the greatest person to ever inhabit this planet, but you would STILL not be entitled to a relationship. When it comes to relationships, there's a bit of luck involved - you have to hope that the person you are attracted to is attracted to you, and there is every chance that even though you're perfect, they might not be attracted to you. Everyone is different.

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29 Jul 2013, 5:59 pm

Further to my last post, you can increase your chances of being found attractive by being a decent human being, working on your social skills, taking care of yourself physically, but at the end of the day it really does come down to pure chance.

Good luck!