What does it mean? When a woman says...

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JM nailed it...

To kill a mocking bird....

This seems really simple to me.
It means you're not ready yet for whatever it is you're talking about.
Even if she's a doctor talking about surgery.

I don't think it has to do with being a guy. I agree with JM but i was confused like others as to the dynamic of the situation. The third party thing threw me off!!

He's referring to the Dating Master's Guide from the Advanced Dating & Ditching (AD&D) series, 2nd editions, page 138.

(They really mucked it up after 3.0, in my opinion ...)

Sometimes women say this as a way to put you off. Even third parties sometimes. However, if it is a large percentage of 3rd parties who have no active agenda involved and there is a clear pattern, that is when I would perhaps take it more seriously.

Generally, when women talk about guys who are not "ready" to date or for a relationship, it is usually because they are not self-sufficient, independent, responsible or mature enough to sustain one. This does not simply apply to the obvious things, such as whether or not you have a stable job, but often women also look at things like how capable you are at dealing with other people in your life (one of the ones us aspies tend to fail at) and if you can maintain your boundaries with others. If you can't maintain your boundaries with others, they know you will be unable to maintain theirs if necessary (on the rare occasion they need help or you are close to the person pushing them) - the thought process being if you cannot deal with people well in this matter, it will be very difficult for you to sustain a relationship without it becoming unhealthy.

^^ Stalk, do you lack any of the golden trio (place, car and good
job?), if yes then that what she means.

No, it's not Boo. Women place more value on social skills including the above as described than you realize. It is one of the things many aspies guys struggle with, even the guys who otherwise would pretty much have it made. Often things such as this is one of the last things that hold them back. It's something that women notice, but as it's not obvious and tangible to many men, they discount it.

I have noticed you in particular like to discount things that are not tangible to you.

^ yeah yeah, because you have magical superpowers and sense vibes and other stuff media makes you believe while we males of the same species lack totally them. Stalk, it's about the trio.
If they are anything "non-tangible" they're sensing in Stalk is his nagging about women around them - not so magical.

and I don't think those women know him that deeply in order to sense those intangible lackings you're talking about, based on his post, they're neither his best friends nor his gfs.

For first impression women judge on tangible things (and tongue-smoothness is quite visible too) like what he does for life, his car, his... shoes, I knew girls who assume guys' statuses by shoes models and cleaniness (and not fo the size thing)

If he's speaking about his dating life with them, they're bound to notice something.

And I guarantee you most women are going to refuse to date a guy if he can't deal with, or stand up to, his own mother and keep his boundaries with her. Most women just won't go there. That may be something intangible, but it's also something that can stop a budding relationship in it's tracks.

Do you mean by intangible as not touchable or something more "vibe-like"? Voice is not touchable but it has a physical presence in the matter world

That's why I said it's a bad idea for him to speak about dating life with his lady friends.

Hell, I wouldn't date that colleague who always nag about her boyfriends (new name every few weeks) who keep fighting with them.

Couldn't have said it better.

and here we're back to the trio - tada!


How those who don't know him that well would know he can't stand up to his own mother: Simple, if he doesn't live in his own place and still living with his parents.

If he also relies on others for transportation then it's another obvious sign.

No need to talk about financial indepedence.

Annnd it's all tangible.

Not necessarily. Conversations with people can tell you all of these things. If you make plans and then mama calls and now he has to go get her a loaf of bread or something stupid like that.

I sold my car recently. I have the train I use to get to work. Not paying a car meant, more savings and helping me finishing my place. So maybe that is 2 out of 3 I don't have.