how to get a girlfriend?

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lost561
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20 Oct 2013, 8:06 am

Good catch telling her that it wuss off topic and to go post her own thread too FMX like I said it's an insult.

Cafeaulait
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20 Oct 2013, 8:10 am

Mindslave wrote:

"Getting" a girlfriend is misleading semantically. Relationships are all about people, so meeting people is the goal. That's how to establish common ground, and that's how dating starts. If you think in terms of out-competing other guys for the rights to the girl, you are doing it wrong. Life is not a sports bar. I'd say the first step is to get a job, because you learn a lot of things at work that help, such as peer relationships, power dynamics, and group politics, not to mention casual social interaction.

This, I think is the best piece of advice I've read so far, TS!

lost561
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20 Oct 2013, 8:17 am

Cafeaulait wrote:

Mindslave wrote:

This, I think is the best piece of advice I've read so far, TS!

You are wrong again. Men do have to outcompete each other for the attention of women. Why do you need a job? So you can buy the woman drinks and food. Maybe even new high heels.

FMX
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20 Oct 2013, 10:14 am

Wow - Cafeaulait and lost561 both seem to approve of the same post of mine! There's something you don't see every day.

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Codyrules37
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20 Oct 2013, 11:46 am

How do you know when's the right time to ask out a girl you like? How do you know if a girl likes you?

octobertiger
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20 Oct 2013, 11:47 am

If she laughs just a bit too long and loudly at jokes, for one.

leafplant
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20 Oct 2013, 12:17 pm

octobertiger wrote:

If she laughs just a bit too long and loudly at jokes, for one.

?! Oh god. The stand up comedians must be rolling in p**** :roll:

No. I laugh at funny things. Sometimes very loudly and for very long time because they are funny. Conceited people laugh too long when they like someone because they are engaging in manipulative behaviour. Stay away from people like that.

octobertiger
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20 Oct 2013, 1:14 pm

I am probably thinking about it in different contexts than you are! I'm certainly not thinking comedy club, etc. Otherwise, well, hey.

I'm sorry, sometimes a lot of people do that when they are not conceited, but actually like someone a lot, and are adjusting to their wavelength. Especially in one to one situations.

Of course, if they laugh an awful long time like a cartoon supervillain, then it's time to exit stage left. Before the TNT goes off.

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20 Oct 2013, 1:38 pm

I know what you are referring to and to me that's conceit - it's part of the Aspie looking down on NT world syndrome maybe, but I am sure a lot of us on this board would find it the same. It seems contrived and part of the game playing.

Like Aspie stare - I do that. I avoid eye contact a lot but then, when I need to check in with the person, I will look straight into them through their eyes. Almost all men interpret this to mean I am sexually/romantically interested in them but I am not, it's just like a conversation for me. A conversation with a person's true self.

octobertiger
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20 Oct 2013, 1:48 pm

It sticks out like a sore thumb to me - that's how I notice it.

It's funny, people yak on about body language being the main thing - I find people who study body language are actually messed up when it comes to reading people's intent. They focus on two or three things, and miss a pattern - often a pattern a certain person will have. And because they're so into generalisations, they miss learning anything at all, apart from confirming their own existing model.

I don't take prolonged eye contact as anything sexual - the same, I am looking into someone.

yellowtamarin
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20 Oct 2013, 9:32 pm

Codyrules37 wrote:

How do you know when's the right time to ask out a girl you like?

Do you feel like you've gotten to know her well enough to know that she's someone you would like to become more intimate with? Then ask her out.

If you mean specifically "when", as in, what time of day, then I'd say just make sure it's when other people are not around, unless you are particularly confident.

Glowz44
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21 Oct 2013, 4:59 am

How do you go get a girlfriend?????

Don't f**king look so hard or obsess about it. There the only two points I will give.

Women will read your language like a children's book and will have no hesitation in rejecting you. They are not looking for a bloke/man that is desperate just because he wants someone to love them.

I will give some advice, make friends with a girl, it will teach you how to act around them and to respect them and enjoy the good times, who knows down the track you may end up with them but live in the moment. Some of the girls who are my friends I am just as honoured to have them in my life as my mates and family.

TheLoner
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07 Nov 2013, 3:31 am

Why getting a girlfriend is such a great feat and accomplishment ?

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Shau
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07 Nov 2013, 3:49 am

TheLoner wrote:

Why getting a girlfriend is such a great feat and accomplishment ?

Getting.

HAH. GETTING!!

Getting is not the accomplishment. KEEPING!

Keeping. Yes, now THAT is an accomplishment.

Ferrus91
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07 Nov 2013, 5:39 am

leafplant wrote:

Heh, on the very rare occasions this has happened I just find it annoying. Because of my aspieness my wit can be on-off depending on the environment and just how well my thoughts are able to congeal together at the time. If my thought processes are just not picking up on irony and absurdity in an elegant way at any particular time I'd prefer people not to laugh as it devalues those special times when I do find exactly the right words to say something very amusing.

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07 Nov 2013, 12:38 pm

I've got a dilemma on my hands. I know this elementary school friend, whom I recently reconnected with, but here are a few things:
1) She is rather busy (has a job as a preschool teacher and is still in college), and thus it is hard to get ahold of her.
2) I have no clue as to what I should do as far as a date goes, nor do I know what words I should say to ask her out, or what time she has available.

Anybody got any clues as to what I should do?

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