Female Pick-Up-Artists (PUA)

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Having female friends/buddies taught me the bitterness women share about men lol- do you believe a sister's boyfriend is giving a bitter advice to his girlfriend how she should play very hard with him (advising against HER brother!) and telling her this how men are tamed? Yes, I've witnessed all that.

And I don't hear this only from old women to women, it's also from single "experienced" women of younger ages.

It took me a while to work out that these women were bitter. They have an air of "I'm older than you so you should listen to what I say because I'm more experienced."

The advice is quiet cliched:

If he likes you he'll make a move. You don't have to do anything.

Give up. You only find someone when you're not looking for someone.

Men don't know how to love, they only want one thing.

I've also been given alot of information about really bad, abusive relationships to warn me off looking for a man.

Can't remember any more at the moment.

I can tell you too, I am female on profile after all

These are words I've heard from an "experienced" woman (divorced) to another young woman: "Look, as my mother always taught me, if a man doesn't buy you a lot of meaningful gifts like jewelry and travel trips then he doesn't really care about you more than other women".


but hey..... -___- ... wait a second, you're smudge, you would probably see this advice as a good one!! !! :trolololol:

I have to say people are generally quite insane when it comes to relationships, both male and female. It's because everyone is brought up with completely unrealistic expectations of other sex and of relationships. No wonder people turn bitter.

So what do you have to do then if you're a woman? I've given up making even the slightest move. I'm a real f*ck-up when it comes to dating and relationships, it seems.

And I've come to the conclusion that I should give up.

Oh dear.... this is not good.

*Stomps off and cries in a corner*

you should definitely NOT do that

I haven't had any advice from bitter old men.

Advice from old men is:

Love is a wonderful thing go for it!

I can't find the video, but there was a young actress Craig Ferguson interviewed who said, "I don't want to get married. I don't want to be branded like a cow." To which he said, "oh you'll change your mind." He's the kind of older guy I tend to hang about with and they tend to be positive about relationships even though they've been in and out of several, but they don't give up on the idea of love.

Women tend to give up on the idea of love, whereas men tend to be more romantic in my experience. Or maybe that's just the kind of people I draw to me. It's weird how they seem to be gender polar opposites who gravitate towards me. Which is weird because the stereotype is that women are supposed to be more romantically inclined.

I don't know if it's because of men and women's different perceptions of love and sex.

Hey, this isn't advice I agree with. I said that too. And what am I supposed to do? If I were looking for a job I'd have to apply for jobs and hand my CV in and go on interviews and so on. So why is it I'm meant to believe that love is just going to turn up if I do absolutely nothing. I think this advice is secret sabotage, "I'm alone and miserable and I'm going to make sure that you are too!" is what that kind of advice is all about.

^ Sage and onion, that.

Sorry, I realised that. I was just saying (poorly worded) that I don't know whether to take the advice to make any moves or advice not to. Whenever I do make a move, I mess up. Or the men really aren't that interested in me...which all in the end, makes me feel unattractive. And yet, I don't know what it is about me that appears so unattractive. I don't think I'm ugly. I'm overweight, but damn, not huge. I really don't think my personality is that hideous either. I only show that side to people I really dislike!

Maybe part of saying not to make any moves, is a sabotaging sort of advice. I guess it depends how literally you take it, e.g. touching someones' arm is at least showing some kind of affection, but not making a move...I don't think. I don't know.

...Then there's all that crap to do with the man having to make the move first. It just... all boggles my mind.

..Meh.

Yup, Smudge, all that stuff goes through my head too. I used to just ask guys for their number, text message them, go up and talk to them and get no where, so I thought maybe there is something in this whole "let the guy make a move advice." But since I've stopped making an effort I've had no interest what so ever. So I think that a woman does have to signal some interest, ask for his number etc.

I met someone I like recently, but after all those years of getting no where, now that I've met someone I feel like I click with and can talk to easily, I think to myself, "what's the point. This never works out what ever I do." I'm feeling a bit depressed now. I don't know what to do. He came over to talk to someone I was talking to the other day and I felt like I was starting to panic so I excused myself and left the room. Which is absolutely not the right thing to do.

Now I've realised that I have feelings for him I can't talk to him anymore. What an idiot I am.

It's all so complicated.

It's wine time.

Tiger, bring the bottle and the cups.

Poor Smudge. Don't give up hope. (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

I can't relate to the specific problems you speak of, but I can totally relate to being a despairing dysfunctional female in certain other areas of relationships. We just have to keep hoping that one day our own particular brand of weirdness will turn out to be compatible with somebody else's.

hurtloam: Yup, same here. And I've tried in different ways. And I've tried it all being less distant, more distant, being myself etc.

Have you had any indication from this guy whether he likes you back? It happened to me fairly recently, except this guy was more wishy washy, and would come online on Facebook to talk to me, and he would listen and take his time in compiling his responses. He even made a (big) list of childrens books he liked on Facebook to put me at ease with sharing my (childish) interests. IRL and online he would say really comforting things to me to put me at ease. Yet he would ignore me whenever I suggested meeting up. I honestly had the feeling that he was scared to, he seemed really bothered/upset by it. But I can't talk to him anymore. I would be miserable if I continued to talk to him. We'd gaze into each others eyes for unusual periods of time IRL too, and he would blush. But hell, I can't do it. I've been trying to gear myself up to adding him back to Facebook (I deleted him), but then I would have to add his horrible friends.

...I'll have cider if there's any.

No indication really. He's a nice guy and he's friendly and nice to everyone, so I'm not sure if he likes me back or just being his friendly self. I'd need to spend more time with him qnd see how it goes. Would probably help if I didn't panic and run away. I blush easily and always worry I'll blush in front of someone I like. The way I cope with it is by physically removing myself from the situation.

Yeah, chin chin...if you have a chin, that is

Actually, the last thing I'd want now is anything to drink. A nice hot choc would go down a treat.

With marshmallows. And baby frogs. And toenails. And wasps' thoraxes. And estate agents.