avoided by an aspie

Post Reply New Topic

I know this is a tad late but i really want to offer help.
You don't "deserve" to be avoided but right now he really can't help it. Imagine being created so you lack a connection to other peoples emotions except one, which is hurt, pain, uncomfortably. At least in my experience having aspergers means you feel other peoples stage fright, their injury or loss. And then imagine that you were the cause for pain for someone you valued so much. Aspies can start to be "normal" when things calm down and there isn't anything on their mind but if they are faced with the knowledge that they hurt someone it becomes near impossible to be normal the less experience you have with dealing with it. When a Aspie isn't normal we end up wanting to be alone against our better judgement, we shut-down sometimes to the point where if someone notices our demeanor and try's to chat with us we get really confused and surprised with the sudden communication that the best we can do is say "Yea i'm fine" or even not talk at all. The best response to this is to keep talking never let him shut you out because if i was in the same position i wouldn't want them to leave as long as they don't pester me but opened a long heart to heart conversation and moved it to a quiet place where i wasn't worried about the world and knew the person wasn't going to leave me while i was talking because it takes me a while to put the things on my heart into words. When the girl im currently "dating" engages me in small talk it ends up very mechanical and dare i try to fit something on my heart into that discussion because it usually comes out worded terribly and when she leaves i beat myself up over it until i see her again.

My Advice:
Do NOT assume he knows you like him or that you forgive him but if you are fairly confident that he likes you then the best thing you can do is go right to him as calmly as you can and then let him know right then and there that you are willing to spend as long as he feels like just talking and making things clear as day to him in a relaxed manner and if you are really sure that you forgive him do not forget to mention it as it would probably make things a lot easier.


And if you want an inner monologue for what he could be feeling then listen to
Nickelback - I'd come for you
It is a very good song to get an idea of what an Aspie in love feels like