4'10'' women with 6'2''men

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onewithstrange: It means that on an issue people feel as insecure about as men tend to about height (or women about their weight), I should have responded more carefully or not at all.

There's nothing I can say here which will make someone feeling insecure about their height feel better about it. I've already said it's not a deal to me outside times when I'm looking for some very specific sex acts, but I think I may have aggravated the problem rather than helped anything. Moreover, I'm thinking this was a thread whose specific purpose was complaining about general sexual choices, which means that I should have stayed out and allowed the people on the thread to commiserate with one another.

Gotcha. You were probably right that the thread was a vent and maybe only a half-serious inquiry at best. Being honest and telling it like it is shouldn't be something to shy away from, but there's that phrase "pick your battles" that somehow seems appropriate (if it means what I think it does). I am insecure about my height - I'm slightly less than average - because that seems to be one of the traits that most women most obviously go for. I guess it's easy to feel alienated when someone doesn't quite know what else one has to offer, or doesn't understand that women can\do change their priorities depending on the circumstances.

Short b*****s be getting someone their own size.

Leave the tall men for the tall girls!

Maybe it's just me but a trend I have noticed while living here is some of the following. While guys naturally tend to compare and compete with one another over height, it can be disregarded by confidence. Overall, I have seen taller men be told being tall is a good thing, so they come to believe it and find confidence in that fact. Short women also seem to be less intimidating for most men. I know many guys who while finding statuesque women really hot, are simply too intimidated to approach (sometimes even for men who are taller than them). Often shorter guys get in the habit of developing a complex over this, and it can lead to them not approaching tall girls, and their confidence even being a stumbling block for approaching shorter girls because they find it hard to do.

Despite being 4'11 or 5 ft (I'm not sure exactly), I've only been asked out by 2 guys who were average or shorter than average (5'6 and 5'2). Everyone else has been from 5'10 to 6'4. I've noticed another girl who is only about an inch taller than me, has the same issue. Sometimes it's really not what we are choosing, as much as it is who's approaching. It seems ridiculous to me that height matters, and the truth is that it doesn't except for how you view it and think about it.

Kjas

That doesn't explain being turned down for being too short when I did approach someone.

I seem to have trouble for at least 2 reasons - being short, and because the way I struggle with things like proper eye contact and understanding conversation flow makes women uncomfortable (if you don't believe me, have a look at what women consider "creepy" and compare this with character traits associated with AS).

No wonder I'm spending another night alone. For that matter, no wonder there are so many people on here complaining of being lonely. I keep being told that I have all these positive qualities, but few women can see past their preconceptions (and the very real threat implied by someone being "odd").

Not that most men lack preconceptions (I'm sure I have some of my own) - I'm just saying that I'm very much aware of some that work against me.

Some women will turn guys down on the basis of height. Especially online - people are always more picky online.

Yet I've seen guys who are from 5'0 to 5'4 pick up girls who are taller than them consistently. Even more intriguing, some of those girls admit they would refuse guys on height alone, but in these cases the guys had enough of whatever it is to overcome that.

The truth is having AS is almost always what makes things much harder for us. It's really about how we come across in person, and it's very difficult for the AS not to effect that, even for those of us who manage to be moderately socially successful by aspie standards.

I've seen guys with AS overcome it either by being very self aware, having a great attitude, learning social skills as best they can, by playing to their strengths or by going online. Some really quiet guys with AS I know, I have been amazed at their online profiles and the depth they show. Finding your strengths and using them can also be a great approach.

Without knowing what makes you stand out compared to other people and what is unique that they remember you by, it's hard to even find a starting point.

In my recent perambulations of OKC, there were only two men that *I* initiated contact with, and one of them was shorter than me. We just had so much in common, that I couldn't *not* drop him a line.

Unfortunately for me, he had just met someone with whom he hit it off.

For that matter, so had the other one. Maybe that was just a nice way of saying "not interested." It figures - the ones that interest me aren't interested in me, and the ones who find me interesting (or good-looking, or whatever their criteria are) leave me yawning.

Men who are overly self-conscious about their height is somewhat comparable to women being overly self-conscious about their breast size. Perhaps a lot or even most women prefer a man taller than herself, even quite tall, and most, if not all, men prefer their mate to have average or above average breast size. Also, that being said, some women could care less about height, and some actually prefer shorter men, just as some men could care less about breast size, and some actually prefer smaller breasts. There are enough of the stereotypical views out there though to make women and men routinely insecure about this. It's kindof the luck of the draw, and you can't really (naturally) change either, unless you gain weight as a women, but then there's other problems...

I tend to be more attracted to very tall men. My ex-husband, however, was 5'6" and his height rarely bothered me. It did bother me, though, that he seemed to have a "Napoleon Complex." Even the way he carried himself was like with his back out and chin way up as though to appear taller. It was almost comical to me. I'm sorry if this makes me sound like an ass. My current bf is between 6'6" and 6'7" and I love his height. He's 14 inches taller than me. This makes some things difficult but not impossible.

Also, to note, some men who are really, really short have other extremely desirable qualities that make their height a total non-issue. It's not pure confidence (that could be seen as cockiness) but just nonchalance about it I guess?

The attraction to taller and/ or bigger men is probably evolutionary wiring, but it certainly isn't a deal-breaker for everyone. If I fell in love with a short man, I wouldn't not go for it because of his height (obviously, as my ex was particularly short).

Men who are overly self-conscious about their height is somewhat comparable to women being overly self-conscious about their breast size. Perhaps a lot or even most women prefer a man taller than herself, even quite tall, and a lot or even most men prefer their mate to have average or above average breast size. Also, that being said, some women could care less about height, and some actually prefer shorter men, just as some men could care less about breast size, and some actually prefer smaller breasts. There are enough of the stereotypical views out there though to make women and men routinely insecure about this. It's kindof the luck of the draw, and you can't really (naturally) change either, unless you gain weight as a woman, but then there's other problems...

I tend to be more attracted to very tall men. My ex-husband, however, was 5'6" and his height rarely bothered me. It did bother me, though, that he seemed to have a "Napoleon Complex." Even the way he carried himself was like with his back out and chin way up as though to appear taller. It was almost comical to me. I'm sorry if this makes me sound like an ass. My current bf is between 6'6" and 6'7" and I love his height. He's 14 inches taller than me. This makes some things difficult but not impossible.

Also, to note, some men who are really, really short have other extremely desirable qualities that make their height a total non-issue. It's not pure confidence (that could be seen as cockiness) but just nonchalance about it I guess?

The attraction to taller and/ or bigger men is probably evolutionary wiring, but it certainly isn't a deal-breaker for everyone. If I fell in love with a short man, I wouldn't not go for it because of his height (obviously, as my ex was particularly short).

Men who are overly self-conscious about their height is somewhat comparable to women being overly self-conscious about their breast size. Perhaps a lot or even most women prefer a man taller than herself, even quite tall, and a lot or even most men prefer their mate to have average or above average breast size. Also, that being said, some women could care less about height, and some actually prefer shorter men, just as some men could care less about breast size, and some actually prefer smaller breasts. There are enough of the stereotypical views out there though to make women and men routinely insecure about this. It's kindof the luck of the draw, and you can't really (naturally) change either, unless you gain weight as a woman, but then there's other problems...

I tend to be more attracted to very tall men. My ex-husband, however, was 5'6" and his height rarely bothered me. It did bother me, though, that he seemed to have a "Napoleon Complex." Even the way he carried himself was like with his back out and chin way up as though to appear taller. It was almost comical to me. I'm sorry if this makes me sound like a jerk. My current bf is between 6'6" and 6'7" and I love his height. He's 14 inches taller than me. This makes some things difficult but not impossible.

Also, to note, some men who are really, really short have other extremely desirable qualities that make their height a total non-issue. It's not pure confidence (that could be seen as cockiness) but just nonchalance about it I guess?

The attraction to taller and/ or bigger men is probably evolutionary wiring, but it certainly isn't a deal-breaker for everyone. If I fell in love with a short man, I wouldn't not go for it because of his height (obviously, as my ex was particularly short).

Men who are overly self-conscious about their height is somewhat comparable to women being overly self-conscious about their breast size. Perhaps a lot or even most women prefer a man taller than herself, even quite tall, and a lot or even most men prefer their mate to have average or above average breast size. Also, that being said, some women could care less about height, and some actually prefer shorter men, just as some men could care less about breast size, and some actually prefer smaller breasts. There are enough of the stereotypical views out there though to make women and men routinely insecure about this. It's kindof the luck of the draw, and you can't really (naturally) change either, unless you gain weight as a woman, but then there's other problems...

I tend to be more attracted to very tall men. My ex-husband, however, was 5'6" and his height rarely bothered me. It did bother me, though, that he seemed to have a "Napoleon Complex." Even the way he carried himself was like with his back out and chin way up as though to appear taller. It was almost comical to me. I'm sorry if this makes me sound like a jerk. My current bf is between 6'6" and 6'7" and I love his height. He's 14 inches taller than me. This makes some things difficult but not impossible.

Also, to note, some men who are really, really short have other extremely desirable qualities that make their height a total non-issue. It's not pure confidence (that could be seen as cockiness) but just nonchalance about it I guess?

The attraction to taller and/ or bigger men is probably evolutionary wiring, but it certainly isn't a deal-breaker for everyone. If I fell in love with a short man, I wouldn't not go for it because of his height (obviously, as my ex was particularly short).

Wow, I'm sorry that posted so many times! This site is giving me problems this morning. I tried to delete the extra posts and it own;t let me do that, either. My apologies!

it's a ego boast for the men, it makes the ***** look much larger against a smaller women.

well that's what I was told in my formative years still believe it as a adult

and this leaves me questioning if this really is a autism forum have you seen the "lists" on the dating threads some things are ok eg must not smoke or fart in bed .

Oh, I don't think auties are necessarily above triviality. It may just be that I don't have enough experience around other aspies. I wouldn't say "must not smoke in bed": I'd just stick to "must not smoke" and leave it at that, because it's a disgusting, unhealthy, environmentally damaging habit, but I don't think that's trivial. "Smoking is okay, but not in bed" - that would be trivial, IMV, anyway.

^^^^

i must have confused you must not smoke period , yes filthy habit ,and fart in bed (another filthy habit )

With all these nt behaviours going on in these parts really saddens me