Aspergers and mail order brides

Post Reply New Topic

I worked with a girl who came into the states as a mail order bride. She did it so that she could enter the country legally (Her only reason), she only remained married until she became a citizen, which was her plan all along. After this time, she got divorced...and he was trusting enough to marry her without a pre-nup. She was showing me the rather large diamond she was planning to sell for college tuition.

Heh, that's the ONLY way it tends to happen. I really don't know why guys do this to themselves. My cousin didn't quite do that but she married an Indian guy who she met out on the East coast, he was in great shape and she was about 300 lbs. Not surprising to say that they lasted about 5 years before divorce but on the upside - she lost his citizenship papers , intentional or not that's still pretty funny.

You'd be taking a big risk. The woman could be a con artist, criminal, have a host of personality problems which you'd have no way to know about; she could be impossible to live with; she could refuse to have sex with you or whatever else you want her to do...

In short you are not BUYING a human being, or a slave. Just because she'd be in your house physically (if that), nothing else is guaranteed. And that's on the GOOD side of things.

Also, just because a country is poor, does not mean she has to marry anyone...I do fear for both sides in such a marriage. It's just as true that sometimes the women have been well intentioned and have ended up beaten or even killed. So I'm not sure this will work out in a way you are happy with.

As someone else said, the Mafia is also involved in some of this - the women may be former prostitutes, or they may be hostages. There is a lot of talk about making mail order marriage illegal for this reason. Oh and the fact that the women usually just want a green card, and the INS is not real thrilled with that.

Maybe rent the Nicole Kidman film "Birthday Girl" before you finalise anything.

</de-lurking>

I've thought about doing this before. Here are a few things you might want to take a look at.

First is this article about the different scams out there, and the things legitimate agencies are doing to try to weed out the con-artists: "Russian Online Marriage Fraud Is Booming"
http://www.worldpress.org/Europe/2111.cfm

Next, take a look at a few marriage websites. Here are three:
http://www.aforeignaffair.com/
http://www.aprettywoman.com/
http://www.elenasmodels.com/
Those web sites contain some interesting information about Russian women, and why they are looking for foreign husbands. I recommend that you also run a few searches and look at the women's profiles. Don't just look at the pictures --yes, some of the ladies are very pretty-- read their brief self-descriptions. What I discovered from this is that a lot of these women are outgoing, adventuresome people, who are looking for a husband to start a family with. They like travelling, hanging out with friends, going to restaurants, dinner parties, clubs, etc. Some of them already have children. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but most people would describe me as a quiet, boring, asocial individual; perhaps even curmudgeonly or misanthropic. When I was in my late teens and early 20s --long before I had ever even heard of Asperger's-- I used to try to be more outgoing, but not anymore. In large part this is because I do not have the time and energy to do any of these things. Besides, it is not like I was ever very good at them.

By the way, this is the same problem I have with regular dating web sites. All of the women are into sports, travelling to exotic locations, starting families, etc. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it is just not my thing. Hell, about the only thing I am certain of in this world is that fatherhood would be a complete and utter disaster for me and everyone else involved.

For those of you who are just interested in sex, take a look at some of the "adult dating" web-sites. You can find links to a bunch of them on this web site
<http://adultdating-secrets.com/>
(Note: Not Safe For Work.) Of course, successfully navigating such things is going to require a certain degree of charm and social skills. Again, I do not know about the rest of you folks, but these are not exactly traits I excel at.

Finally, to end on a happy note, if deep down inside, you are really a hopeless romantic --as I am-- go see the movie "Sweet Land"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0428038/

Ciao.

I was thinking the same thing.

Tim