Dating who pay for it

Post Reply New Topic

I would never make some guy I asked out pay for anything. He is joining me for a meal. I asked him on a date. It's not 2 friends going out.. it's a date. It's my wallet that gets used.

How unromantic: "Oh, would you like to join me for dinner? I forgot to mention, buy your own food and drink or you can't come."

You don't invite people over to your house for dinner and tell them to bring half the food. The person hosting/asking puts it on.

Dutch.

I like the idea of going Dutch.

Wow, it's so weird reading some of the comments above. Where I come from you would never assume a guy would pay for you on the first few dates.Dutch was standard when I lived in England as well. I think it's a matter of equality for some, a few girls I know never allow any guy to pay for them. I think dutch is fair for that initial phase of a relationship, but as it progresses and partners get to know each others financial situation these dynamics can shift. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable having a stranger pay for me, but it's fine when I know my boyfriend can afford it and wants to pay.

in general the one who asks out pays

many times this even happens outside of a "date" when friends of mine and I go out.

in many other cases just go "dutch"

Technical question: Say one person suggests getting together on a specific day/time frame, and the other person says "sure, how about meeting for coffee/drinks/lunch/dinner/weekend in Monaco?" Who pays? The one who suggested getting together or the one who suggests the activity?

I really do have a hard time with these technicalities, which is why I always offer to pay my share, especially if it's more than just coffee.

So, the thing is, if you go out with a guy, and he is a douche, but you don't know this yet because you've just met him, if you let him pay for you, he will think he is entitled to all manner of things. Like you being nice to him for example.

I like to reserve the right to be nasty to sobs who deserve it, so I like to pay my way, with that in mind.

I like the idea of going Dutch for a first date, since both parties have just as much at stake. But if the date went well and I like her, I'll pay for the dates after. If a girl excuses herself to the restroom as we get up to the cashier, I'll wait patiently for her to come back and insist we split the bill, then never call her again.

Are any of you guys who don't believe in picking up the tab the same ones who wonder why they can't get a girlfriend? Epecially those who want an NT girlfriend. I do not personally know any women [ not talking my age, but my kids age] who have ever picked up the tab on the first date. In addition, most of them receive flowers either before,or sent after the date. Dates need not be expensive though. Pack an incredible picnic lunch. Bring a loaf of stale bread to feed the ducks or the chipmunks and walk around the lake with her. Pick a bouquet of flowers from your garden [or someone elses] before the date.

I know it seems unfair. It probably is unfair. I think it's kind of a biological, cultural mix of things. I must admit, that is one of many reasons that I prefer being a woman to a man.

The person who invites the other one out is the one that should pay. However, I've asked many a guy out on a date and was fully prepared to pay but they always insisted on paying because "Guys pay for the date" traditionally down here. I let them because it was important to them. In a relationship, sometimes you pool your money to go to someplace expensive and when it's the guys birthday or a special gift you are giving him you of course insist on paying that yourself, but overall, guys usually do pay unless the girl offers to chip in, and many times that offends the guy. Down here anyway. I don't know how it is in other parts of the country.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com