Attraction makes little sense to me ...

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Sedaka
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01 May 2007, 12:32 am

makes perfect sense to an evolutionist

self self genes! muwahahahahahaha

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BazzaMcKenzie
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01 May 2007, 12:46 am

calandale wrote:

Don't tell me that you believe in some sort of soul mate or something? There are people with whom one can fit tell. It's hard for some of us to find them, but there are always SOME. It's just a matter of circumstances that determines which you end up with.

No I don't - I didn't express it very well.

IMO its a bit more like a game of roulette.

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Eclair
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01 May 2007, 12:51 am

Attraction is the most complex thing in the world to define.

I see recently they believe that the whole pheremone thing links into genetics and that you actually sniff out genes that are compatable with your faulty ones as such so that the process of reproduction produces the most genetically fit outcome....

Even if that's true, add the mix of what you personally find attractive physically, the list of things you want, the list of things you may compromise on and the emotional factors that make you crave or despise something (ie; not all children of abusers seek abusers)...and wham, you have little or no basis to even understand the complexities of attraction when you meet someone.

I don't believe in one perfect match, however, as my life has gone on, I see that there are some things I will compromise on, and other things I won't...and pretty soon my pheremones won't have any impact on my genetic reproduction anyway.

denegibson
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14 Sep 2007, 8:36 am

zombie thread (sorry)

I've been receiving emails from this site for a little while and that, combined with personal experience has given it a bit more sense ... I think. The best example is probably this ebook.

Do you think there's a lot of truth to the things mentioned there?

And in response to sinsboldly's remark on behaviour modification, I don't like to be squashed into a mould though I do try and it's not as if I don't attract girls/guys (well funny enough I've just noticed NT girls to be attracted to me so far).

*shrug* I felt I should mention those things for some reason ... maybe it'll be useful to someone?

Edit: and danny gibson? I've lived in the UK all my life lol

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dasanbe
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15 Sep 2007, 2:30 pm

Some people feel that looks should count for something.

I don't.

I think that personality is everything.

nb411
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15 Sep 2007, 10:12 pm

Shale wrote:

sinsboldly wrote:

but then, I havn't seen many that post here that actually want to get off their lazy asses and DO any behaviour modification! Most of the guys want to blame the woman for not being attracted to them.
Merle

Quoted for TRUTH.

Seriously guys. If women aren't attracted to you then something about you is un-sexy. Find it, and kill it. Or modify it. Adding a huge wing and front bumper to my car changes it yes, makes it handle a little differently, but it's still the same car it always was...only sexier

It's not that hard to find the source of the problem and FIX IT.

And when the whole world looks like it's against you, stop looking out and look IN

You may find your answers there.

Hooray for sensemakers.

+ points for the car analogy.

calandale
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15 Sep 2007, 10:20 pm

So, was she suggesting prosthetics?

LePetitPrince
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16 Sep 2007, 4:39 pm

sinsboldly wrote:

So, when I let you guys know the chemistry behind attraction, all you saw was a long diatribe of big words and concepts you knew nothing about.
The point is, sex has so little to do with attraction. I know you probably won't believe me but the best looking guys are usually duds in bed. Why? because they have never been challenged. Most guys look at the centerfold and take care of business, why should they think that they have to do otherwise when they actually GET a girl in bed?
So, if you go for the eye candy, you get what you lust after.

but then, I havn't seen many that post here that actually want to get off their lazy asses and DO any behaviour modification! Most of the guys want to blame the woman for not being attracted to them.
Merle

hypocrite words ...in a support site.

You know very well that what make us unsexy mostly is our AS nature ...and this can't be changed . Besides , what's making u sure that these guys are not trying to change anything in their behavior? are u stalking them 24/7 and meeting them 24/7 online so u can conclude that these guys are loser geeks that don't get off their lazy asses ? Do you live with them by chance? Stop judging people online based on your own imaginations and assumptions.

Ragtime
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16 Sep 2007, 5:28 pm

The title of this thread prompts me to make a post I was thinking of making yesterday:

Is anyone like me, in that they have no idea what actually attracts them to those they're attracted to? I have no idea how it actually works with me, and it scares me a bit. It's a subject worthy of endless study, if that's one's pleasure (and for Aspies, it usually is). It's intriguing...

calandale
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16 Sep 2007, 5:44 pm

Ragtime wrote:

The title of this thread prompts me to make a post I was thinking of making yesterday:

Is anyone like me, in that they have no idea what actually attracts them to those they're attracted to? .

I have a DAMNED good idea, but no words to express
it. I use 'smell' and 'taste', but that's not quite right. It's
just a sense, linked to those, which is almost infallible.

Ragtime
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16 Sep 2007, 6:18 pm

calandale wrote:

Ragtime wrote:

The title of this thread prompts me to make a post I was thinking of making yesterday:

Is anyone like me, in that they have no idea what actually attracts them to those they're attracted to? .

I have a DAMNED good idea, but no words to express
it. I use 'smell' and 'taste', but that's not quite right. It's
just a sense, linked to those, which is almost infallible.

Even worse, I can't predict oncoming revulsion at girls I was previously attracted to. Ya, I'm pretty messed up.

calandale
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16 Sep 2007, 6:31 pm

Never had that. I mean, I am pretty sure
that I absolutely hated my psycho ex at times,
but I always wanted her sexually.

Ragtime
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16 Sep 2007, 7:13 pm

calandale wrote:

Never had that. I mean, I am pretty sure
that I absolutely hated my psycho ex at times,
but I always wanted her sexually.

I don't mean so much sexually as personality-wise.

calandale
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16 Sep 2007, 7:17 pm

Ah. No, she always tasted wrong,
and I couldn't keep my paws off
her.

Ragtime
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16 Sep 2007, 7:38 pm

I'm so tempermental, I should be a great chef!

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