Once a cheater always a cheater??

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I don't really see him as the problem as much as his family not liking you. As long as he's living with them and they don't like you, they will talk you down, introduce him to others, make suggestions and basically convince him that you're no good. They may even make up lies about you. It seems like no girl will be good enough for him according to them. Maybe it feels better for them that he play the field because there is no stability between him and another person. If he's financially dependent on them, maybe they view a real girlfriend as another dependent in that he must take some care of her and he'll be looking to them for cash in order to do this. Personally, I can't stand my daughter-in-law. She's not evil in any way. I just don't like her.
My son is completely independent of my husband and I. If I had to support my son financially and her too, I would be boiling mad. Because I don't have to give my son one thin dime to use for her, I'm fine. Even though I don't like her, I respect her morality and admire her work. Her nervous habits, her voice, taste in clothing, her laugh, and cigarette smoking irritate me. I could not be friends with her. She makes my son happy though. Now, that I can live with!!

I have a cherished piece of relationship advice, earned through hard experience, I give to young women: Take a hard look at his family. If you would not marry his father, end the relationship. If you do not want to become a little carbon-copy of his mother, end the relationship. If you would not marry his parents, end the relationship.

He's used to these people telling him who he is, who he needs to be, where he's going, where he needs to be headed... In short, he's used to tying himself in knots to gain these peoples' approval. That dynamic is deep-rooted to the point of being very nearly hardwired-- attempting to remove it would be something like attempting to remove the operating system from a computer, only with feelings involved.

That dynamic is not going to change.

End the relationship.

Upon further reading, I see you have ended the relationship.

Good for you.

Don't feel bad for him-- he will have this problem until he chooses to put on his big-boy panties, develop and internal compass of his own, and do something about that dynamic.

If he is going to choose to allow his mother to pull his strings, then he basically earns himself a lifetime tied to his mother's apron strings. That's LIFE. Nothing in an ASD diagnosis precludes a person from figuring out who they are, what they want, where they stand, and then STANDING THERE.

There are worse things than a long-term relationship with an Aspie.

And a long-term relationship with someone who has so little self-esteem that they are blown hither, thither, and yon every time someone whose approval they desire issues a criticism is one of them.

Thanks for the support everyone! I know I am better off and I am enjoying the single life for a bit. What saddens me is my ex will always have a hard time bringing new women in his life if his family are complete jerks to everyone.

@buyerbeware

That's good advice. BUT.... I did follow it. My husband's father is an ok guy. His mother is vile. Turns out after our son was born he turned not into his father, but into his mother.

It won't be easy emotionally for you but you know that you're doing the best thing for you and your future.

You'll find a much better guy who deserves you and treats you right. You'll see

Its never fun being a rental or thought of as something replaceable like an obsolete smart phone.

Yes.

Rental? Indeed. That's why I don't buy bottled water. Nobody BUYS water. You RENT it. I don't like the thought of being rented like water.

You must have wonderful parents, do you? My father is a violent alcoholic, my mother hates men (they're long divorced), my mother-in-law is a passive aggressive control freak, and my father-in-law (they're looong divorced) is an abusive Aspie.

Neither my husband nor I are carbon copies of either of them, thank God.

I'm not saying it's always bad advice. Probably would have kept me away from my first marriage. But it also would have kept me away from my wonderful husband now, too.

Might not be obtuse, maybe just Asperger's. I answer questions pretty bluntly most of the time as well, even fell into a lot of "traps" with my ex this way when she asked me a question and I answered plainly.