Why do Women do this on Dating Sites?
Good lord, first I'm told that my low self-confidence turns people off and now this. I'm starting to think I truly AM on the Wrong Planet! First I'm told I have to be confidence in myself and when I try to have a positive self-image get told I am arrogant. I really can't figure this planet out..... I think I am being reasonable in saying I am a high quality male compared to singles my age and above average compared to men over 30 in general and I will leave it at that.
For what it's worth, I thought "I'm a high quality male" statement was quite reasonable when taken in context. Sure, out of context it sounds arrogant. So don't take it out of context!
I run into this kind of thing too, sometimes. I generally try to be modest and certainly don't unnecessarily point out that I'm good at something, but occasionally it really is necessary or appropriate in the context. Then I tend to be quite matter-of-fact about it, like "well, yes, since you ask, I do know more about this than you and just about everyone else" - which does tend to come across as arrogant.
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@ Boxman: No, most men palpably do NOT treat women as equals. Just for starters, men do not act like they have a ****right**** to other men's attention at ANY time.
Wrt. "...high-quality male..." for one thing, read the manifesto of the guy who went on that shooting spree in SoCal. He was constantly referring to himself in those terms. EVERY man thinks that he's better than all of the other men out there (or at least acts like he does), and that women who choose other men have poor taste. Wrt. 'Arrogant prick' vs. 'Poor self-esteem,' that's a false dilemma. Theres's a balance that is more reflective of actual reality somewhere in the middle.
Let me make this perfectly clear: You are the one that has done the most whining in this thread. Take a moment to do some self reflection.
What the heck are you talking about
I am talking about the OP's "Is that really going to motivate a high quality male such as myself to message her?" and later, on the first page, the statement that he "IS" better than most or all of the other men on OKCupid. I'm saying that the guys sending dick pix all think that, too, just based on criteria that favor what they perceive to be their own best points.
So to summarize and save the OP from having to read so much:
The woman in question has likely received lots of perverted messages, and because of which, has no interest in dating a perv. This was an attempt to stop that, although it likely won't because the pervs wont read it anyway. Whether or not this will stop the messages is up for debate, but that's her business.
Done?
Well, since I don't smoke/drink/do drugs, have never committed a criminal offense, have a very stable, secure full time job, volunteer at a very well known and respected organization and have my own apartment and car, and love children I think that's a pretty fair statement to make. I'm not bragging in fact it makes me feel worse that I get so little attention and like tonight, my message gets a one sentence response. It's like driving: everyone says they are a good driver but I got a perfect score on my road test, received a compliment from a jaded DMV employee and have never had an accident or even a parking ticket. I would say that makes me a better driver than most!
Back on topic, I noticed a new profile. Not my type but very honest and well written while talking about how she survived an abusive situation. What does she say? At the end, she writes:
"Please do not contact me if you smoke.
I am not at all interested in one night stands/"hook ups."
Please note that I do not want to date a man who enjoys pornography. "
"Please be assured that I mean absolutely no offence by any of these requests/requirements. Thank you. "
Why not phrase it that way? Gets the point across and is respectful. I would not hesitate to contact her if she was younger and didn't have teenagers. I am further puzzled by all the responses on this thread because I was suggested last year to remove my "I don't want to date girls with tattoos or piercings". Why the conflicting message?
Due respect, but those qualities are not as rare as you seem to think.
Wrt. your driving, it makes you a more "law abiding" but it doesn't necessarily make you a better driver. My brother's never had a ticket and passed his test with flying colors, but he regularly drives 90+ mph on the freeway. It depends on your metric of "better." My brother would say that he is 'better' at avoiding tickets and 'better' at getting from one place to another, quickly. Those guys who send dick pix probably think that they have 'better' dicks and want to show them off.
As for why the tone, she probably wasn't actually trying to attract anyone with the statement or even to weed out the bad from the good; she was probably ranting after a bad day and too many as*holes hitting her up for sex. Good chance she'll go back and change the tone when she's ready to wade into the cesspit again.
^^^ Holy Cow LKL long time no see its been like 8 months since I last seen ya post on WP.
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Wrt. "...high-quality male..." for one thing, read the manifesto of the guy who went on that shooting spree in SoCal. He was constantly referring to himself in those terms. EVERY man thinks that he's better than all of the other men out there (or at least acts like he does), and that women who choose other men have poor taste. Wrt. 'Arrogant prick' vs. 'Poor self-esteem,' that's a false dilemma. Theres's a balance that is more reflective of actual reality somewhere in the middle.
Look who's making sweeping generalisations now...of course it's not sexism if it's insulting males.
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AngelRho
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Let me slap you also.
and still receive messages from interested guys.*
This is how I interpreted his comment.
Here we go again.
I think the answer is clear why she would post that on her profile and I repeat what someone else said in their post: Frustration. Add to it that harassment usually results in a response similar to "back off before I make you feel worthless."
Now as for her profile: Would I message a girl that says those things on her profile? or would I think it over first before making the decision? Or would I never bother at all? I would likely think through the second two options myself because I might be taken back a little by what is written on her profile at first. I'd make a decision later. However, I have skipped plenty of women I thought I might be compatible with when i read through what they are looking for as I find that is where I will see any dealbreakers.
Now, you say that you're a good guy OP. Then you will obviously know when you are doing the right thing and the wrong thing. Others will make their judgments as many in here apparently have. It is an unwritten rule that anyone who says something like that or defends his actions with "I'm a good guy" will automatically be labelled a bad guy. I have even done that in the past on here. It's amazing how quick we are to put other people who feel that they themselves are good guys on the defensive. And it apparently it's a justifiable action to put someone else on the defensive if their opinions are different (and therefore wrong in the minds of some people).
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The_Face_of_Boo
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Wrt. "...high-quality male..." for one thing, read the manifesto of the guy who went on that shooting spree in SoCal. He was constantly referring to himself in those terms. EVERY man thinks that he's better than all of the other men out there (or at least acts like he does), and that women who choose other men have poor taste. Wrt. 'Arrogant prick' vs. 'Poor self-esteem,' that's a false dilemma. Theres's a balance that is more reflective of actual reality somewhere in the middle.
So now Giant is a potential mass murderer just for having an arrogant moment.
Jeeez what a hyperbole, you know what, staying off WP isn't too bad for you.
if a guy does what this woman did we are told it's off putting, offensive and too negative. we are told to change/ remove the rant type things. yet a woman does it and its defended and if a guy finds it off putting we are told we lack respect for women o.O
I find it off putting. guarantee most women on dating sites get the same stuff she did, the difference they don't turn their profile into a rant, they block the messages and continue on. do most list they aren't looking for one night stands yeah, but that's more of what relationship they are wanting. if you don't think it should work both for men and women then you are basically saying women can afford to do it and guys can't.
also yeah hockey I don't get it either but i predicted it. if you show confidence you are an as*hole if you don't then you are a unattractive. seems there's no winning.
also i take your post to mean that I am a loser?
Nor do I.
- Don't send dick pics or "Hey bby yoo want sum f*k?"
- Don't cheat.
Simple.
Also, I thought people with AS would be happy to be actually told what they did wrong instead of having to play guessing games.
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