Is the other woman a threat?

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One more question: If I ever meet this other woman again, what should I ask her to try and weasel out answers about the status between her and my crush? (to hear from her own mouth if she's an FWB or his future wife)

I respect your views on marriage is, it's important to you, I get that, but why do you need to know her official status?

At this point they may not even have talked about marriage. Everything isn't always black and white. It's not a case of just friends with benefits or knowing that you're going to get married.

It took me years to realise that most people don't view things in black and white. Mostly people don't plan things, they just go with the flow.

Why do you need to know if it's either or? It's probably something in between. And be careful, she may feel that her relationship status is none of anyone's business.

If the other woman is anything like this woman, then yeah she poses a great threat and will destroy your city!

She liked one of his Facebook posts tonight. It was a joke about one of his best friends. I'm literally shaking.

He and I have 13 mutual friends (with potential for more), including this friend that joke post was about. She and I only have 1 mutual friend, which is him. She is not Facebook friends with that other friend. (She last liked something that he posted about a month ago, while I've liked and shared a bunch of things with him multiple times in the same period.) I get terrified whenever I see any interaction between her and him, though.

Could this be a clue? Is the fact that she and I have no other mutual friends a sign that she's outside of his main friendship circle and is just a side fling? Or did she like that post because that friend is going to be a groomsman or best man in her wedding?

Yes, the other woman is a threat. Either he likes her romantically, or he's a player banging a bunch of women and he has your heart on lockdown. I would try to get away from him, as he's definitely pursuing other women either purely for sex or romantically and he has a lot of power over you. Not a good situation to be in no matter what. Confront him and take control now before you get hurt badly down the line.

She is not a threat to you. You are not a threat to her.

You are probably going to get your heart stomped on if you continue to attempt to pursue this- you both clearly have completely different ideals just when it comes to relationships. I don't know about anything else, but that should be enough for you to want to protect your heart and mind and put some distance there.

Also, have you been completely transparent with your counselor about all this? Like, to the extent you have been here?

You said that you don't want to tell him about your feelings for him because you are afraid of losing his friendship. Let me tell you about an experience I had. I was young and had rose coloured glasses on and I was totally obsessed with this man. I had never met anyone who I enjoyed spending time with as much as I did with him. We could talk for hours and we had a lot in common.

So I got to the point where I told him how I felt. He told me that he was not in love with me and he'd met someone else. I was heart-broken, but, years later we are still friends. We don't see each other very often because our lives have moved on, but when we do talk we still talk away like old friends. he's been with this woman all this ime, so that worked out well for him and they are happy and I am glad that he's happy.

Maybe you should tell your friend that you want to be more than just friends with him. If he shares your feelings then that would be fab If he really is your friend, but doesn't share your feelings he will let you down gently and it will be awkward for a while, but real friends get through the bad times, so you won't lose completely. Even if he says no, it will give you closure and even though it will hurt and take time to get over him it will free you emotionally and you won't have this worry hanging over your head anymore. Don't let this drag you down. Be strong and look after yourself.

^ It's time to set a mud fight, I see no other way.

Hmmmm, I'm not enamoured with his reply. Sounds like a gentle let down, so he's not been outright nasty to you, but saying "maybe eventually" isn't fair. It's not right for him to string you along like that. Don't let him play with your emotions. Some people enjoy being around someone that they know is attracted to them because it boosts their self esteem even if they are not planning on taking that relationship anywhere.

I know that you adore him and it's probably hard to imagine meeting someone else you get along with quite as well, but don't wait and wait and wait on someone who might make you wait around forever. Don't throw your life away on pining after one person.

He's not for settling down at the moment. I say this based on what you've told us about his fwb relationship and how he knows you are a serious relationship girl and he's pretty much told you he's not in that place right now. Sounds like he's just enjoying his youth and freedom. Don't you hang around waiting for him. Shake things up a bit. Start an evening class, join a club, meet some new people and develop yourself and find out what makes you happy. Don't pin all your joys and sorrows on this one man. There is no sure way of knowing that things will work out with him, but you know what is sure. That you can develop your own life and become who you want to be. Invest in yourself because you won't regret it.