Should I clearly disclose my height?

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You chose to interpret Alex's post as blaming you even though he pretty clearly said there isn't blame to go around if one party doesn't like the other. His actual point was that your obvious insecurity about your height wasn't helping matters any.

Boo. You can't deny that you are racked with insecurity about it. That's all self evident from this thread and many others you've done. I actually agree with you that many women are shallow about height. I've seen my friend struggle with it and it sucks. It's quite simple though. If the girl is shallow and giving you a hard time about it, give her the boot and be thankful you aren't wasting anymore time with her.

It seems like you (and many other Aspie guys/girls on here) flat out refuse to believe that other people can pickup on your emotions or that subconcous communication exists. The very possibility that it could even be a small factor (out of many) in dating struggles is met with hostility and taken as an attack. Many times these threads feel less like pleas for advice and more of an attempt to reinforce things you already believe (i.e. women are shallow, you're too short to be dateable, etc.)

Questions:
How are these stereotypical mindsets (even if they are based on a kernel of truth) helpful for your self esteem or make you more socially adept? How does doubling down on your insecurities and hostilities help you with dating? Can you honestly say that how you perceive yourself has no effect on how others perceive you?

Racked? oh booohooo - I am walking on sticks all the time.

Meh...

I am not insecure about my height no matter how many times you WP users say it: You are simply wrong.

Alex, Geeko, everyone, you can parrot "you are insecure about your height" ..."you are racked with insecurity about your height" million and zillion of times- and you can psychoanalyze my posts all you like, you can keep this armchair psychology for days, but that doesn't make you right - nope, you are not, both of you are not even 1% right on this.

I have admitted insecurity regarding many things, and I wouldn't shy to admit on this if it was the case, but I am simply not on this one.

Geeko, your whole post is all about changing a fact that happened to me, and an attempt to make me that I was the source of the issue, that I was giving insecurity signs about my height, but I am not insecure about it altogether - so your whole post is presumptuous - it's all based on the assumption that I am insecure about my height; and no, my thread wasn't an attempt to blame women or to make a whole gender looks shallow.

So go, think well about the nonsense you wrote, re-read my thread and understand the point behind it, then maybe you can really help on this one without throwing stupid and insulting assumptions.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 19 Feb 2015, 4:28 pm, edited 6 times in total.

What was the point of this thread then? Is it a parody of the other one where OP asked if he should disclose his Asperger diagnosis? Just asking.

The whole point of the thread is to find a way to know online whether the girl cares about the height difference or not without being too vocal about it (because that would quickly give false impressions, short men discusses height are so quickly thought to be insecure, just look at some of the users here).

It's the waste of time and awkward situations I am more concerned about, not my own height.

I don't know about that. I normally find out about things about a girl that I wouldn't normally want to ask by looking at how answered the OKCupid match questions. It's interesting how can find out all sorts of things by looking at those answers, including things about sex. Maybe there is an OKCupid match question asking people whether they would date someone shorter or taller than them but I haven't seen one.

I don't think many really digs into them that much before meeting someone, and even if they did there are lot of questions there.

You know, the attitudes of some here reminds me of how some <ethnicity> patronize on <minority ethnicity> that there're not much racism in their community and that's it's all in their heads or it's simply....just some insecurity they display about it - while those patronizer have never experienced or lived discrimination based on race in their own country because they're the majority.

I do. I look for specific questions though. I answered pretty much all of them I think there was a height based question somewhere.

sadly I have no input as I'm not good at wording things right, and I'm quite tall, so finding women who are taller then me is rare.

Can you ask a friend if they mind being in the picture? Or blank out their face? I don't know about the pretty woman thing but a photo of you next to another guy who is of average height would be a good idea, I reckon. Or something else that gives a good reference...hmm...have you had your photo taken next to a wax model of a famous person? Something like that might work!

^ I think I had one such pic (wax model).

I'm kind of tall for a woman. I'm 5'8" (173 cm).

Height is only a problem in dating if you choose to let it be. Even though traditionally men have been taller than women, that doesn't mean it has to always be the case. I would be okay with dating taller women, well considering im 5 ft 2, only dating shorter women would limit my options.

Of course the majority of women, especially if they're average height or below aren't going to initially be attracted to shorter men. This is probably true. Taller women I think are more likely to be okay with dating men who are shorter than they are.

And if a woman rejects me because i'm short im not going to say f you or anything. Everyone has the right to their own standards even if they seem unfair. Would I date a 40 year old women? Heck no.

First I apologize for my low level of English and secondly for not having read all the answers, I focus on your first posts.
1- I am female and in my case I do not look the physical details because they don't matter to me, just I check the personality and hobbies.
2- my last partner was much older than me, He was my same height (5.2) and had a big belly , people looked at us weird on the street, but it was never important for me because he made me feel good and confortable and belive me is not easy for me that someone made me feel confortable, then I really can't understand this girl you talk about.
3- so I understand you're trying to find someone to connect and feel comfortable, start a romantic relationship, right ?, well I think you are lucky to see this girl not worth it in the first date. you saved a lot of time.
4- to your last question in my opinion you have to ask, because it will save you time. and like I suppose you first talk with the person to known if you fit together it's normal to talk about something that is important for you like this topic, no?