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I'm So Frustrated

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auntblabby
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03 Apr 2015, 3:15 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
All three lipsticks I'm wearing in that album don't flatter me?

the lipstick stands out in not matching the rest of you, but that is your choice and I can't criticize it. but if it were me, a darker shade would be my preference, or no lipstick at all which would be better. but that's just me.


Thank you. Did you see the other photo?

saw all the photos, but all the lipsticks [especially the one that was extra-vivid] seemed to be very bright. I'm probably just old-fashioned in this respect.



goofygoobers
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03 Apr 2015, 3:16 pm

auntblabby wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
I don't understand how I could be "too pretty." I applied colored mascara. It L'Oreal Miss Manga Mascara in Teal Craze.

what the "too pretty" comment was about, was that some men will not approach a woman who is so pretty that she immediately seems out of their league of what they rate [deserve]. and IMHO you are just-right pretty :)


Why don't they give girls they think is "too pretty" a chance?

And thank you. ;)



auntblabby
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03 Apr 2015, 3:18 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
I don't understand how I could be "too pretty." I applied colored mascara. It L'Oreal Miss Manga Mascara in Teal Craze.

what the "too pretty" comment was about, was that some men will not approach a woman who is so pretty that she immediately seems out of their league of what they rate [deserve]. and IMHO you are just-right pretty :)


Why don't they give girls they think is "too pretty" a chance? And thank you. ;)

prego :) the reason is, that they think the "too pretty" or "too sexy" girl will turn them down in favor of a higher-status/quality man, the social theory being that everybody tries to get the best quality mate they can rate.



goofygoobers
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03 Apr 2015, 3:21 pm

auntblabby wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
I don't understand how I could be "too pretty." I applied colored mascara. It L'Oreal Miss Manga Mascara in Teal Craze.

what the "too pretty" comment was about, was that some men will not approach a woman who is so pretty that she immediately seems out of their league of what they rate [deserve]. and IMHO you are just-right pretty :)


Why don't they give girls they think is "too pretty" a chance? And thank you. ;)

prego :) the reason is, that they think the "too pretty" or "too sexy" girl will turn them down in favor of a higher-status/quality man, the social theory being that everybody tries to get the best quality mate they can rate.


But they never know if they don't give a chance. Also, I thought some people think looks don't matter..... This is so confusing.



auntblabby
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03 Apr 2015, 3:26 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
But they never know if they don't give a chance. Also, I thought some people think looks don't matter..... This is so confusing.

the "looks don't matter" meme is about not having prettiness as a determinant of whether or not a man should ask a woman out on a date. not many people can grok that, it is a Darwinian thing that takes a lot of evolvement to look past. but to get back to your question, men don't like to be rejected, so if they judge a lady to be "out of their league" [too high-class/pretty/sexy compared to themselves] they won't take the chance so as to avoid what they have calculated to be likely rejection. as you have described, it doesn't feel good to be rejected.



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03 Apr 2015, 3:32 pm

auntblabby wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
But they never know if they don't give a chance. Also, I thought some people think looks don't matter..... This is so confusing.

the "looks don't matter" meme is about not having prettiness as a determinant of whether or not a man should ask a woman out on a date. not many people can grok that, it is a Darwinian thing that takes a lot of evolvement to look past. but to get back to your question, men don't like to be rejected, so if they judge a lady to be "out of their league" [too high-class/pretty/sexy compared to themselves] they won't take the chance so as to avoid what they have calculated to be likely rejection. as you have described, it doesn't feel good to be rejected.


So what should I do about that?



auntblabby
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03 Apr 2015, 3:37 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
But they never know if they don't give a chance. Also, I thought some people think looks don't matter..... This is so confusing.

the "looks don't matter" meme is about not having prettiness as a determinant of whether or not a man should ask a woman out on a date. not many people can grok that, it is a Darwinian thing that takes a lot of evolvement to look past. but to get back to your question, men don't like to be rejected, so if they judge a lady to be "out of their league" [too high-class/pretty/sexy compared to themselves] they won't take the chance so as to avoid what they have calculated to be likely rejection. as you have described, it doesn't feel good to be rejected.


So what should I do about that?

good question. :scratch: obviously I'm no expert or else I'd be a grandparent by now. the only thing I'd suggest would be to exercise the golden rule in all your daily excursions. as ben franklin said, "Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none."



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03 Apr 2015, 3:42 pm

Hi Goofy. I'm female and looking at your pics you are very much above average attractiveness so I think you can be 100% sure that your physical appearance isn't putting men off. The lipstick on the first couple of pics suits you a lot in my opinion.
So I would assume that there is either something in your mannerisms, the way you dress, what you talk about/how you talk or something that might be unintentionally putting men off. I'm taking it that personal hygiene isn't an issue!
Or it could just be plain bad luck you haven't met a compatible person.
Do you have anyone IRL you trust to give you an honest opinion - like your mum/sister/a girl friend etc?



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03 Apr 2015, 3:45 pm

if you are able to, maybe do a youtube vid of yourself chatting to us about whatever is on your mind? that way, we could better see what Rabbers mentioned. :idea:



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03 Apr 2015, 3:48 pm

Rabbers wrote:
Hi Goofy. I'm female and looking at your pics you are very much above average attractiveness so I think you can be 100% sure that your physical appearance isn't putting men off. The lipstick on the first couple of pics suits you a lot in my opinion.
So I would assume that there is either something in your mannerisms, the way you dress, what you talk about/how you talk or something that might be unintentionally putting men off. I'm taking it that personal hygiene isn't an issue!
Or it could just be plain bad luck you haven't met a compatible person.
Do you have anyone IRL you trust to give you an honest opinion - like your mum/sister/a girl friend etc?


I really don't know if anyone would give me an honest opinion.



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03 Apr 2015, 3:52 pm

auntblabby wrote:
if you are able to, maybe do a youtube vid of yourself chatting to us about whatever is on your mind? that way, we could better see what Rabbers mentioned. :idea:


I don't have any videos of myself, but I could make one. If you want to see a video of me, please PM me.



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03 Apr 2015, 4:09 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
if you are able to, maybe do a youtube vid of yourself chatting to us about whatever is on your mind? that way, we could better see what Rabbers mentioned. :idea:


I don't have any videos of myself, but I could make one. If you want to see a video of me, please PM me.


YouTubing it can attract alot of unwanted attention. Perhaps something more subtle like tinychat or Skype?

I think you're fine. (I mean that in a positive way and not in the sense that I'm hitting on you.)

Also, you shouldn't be far too concerned about meeting a certain criteria on how you should look. Eventually someone will reach out their hand, and it'll be your decision on whether or not to extend yours, too. And this silhouette of a person won't make it a mission to just see you for your superficial looks, it's more than that. Really.

You'll be okay. I wish I could give sound advice, but being though that I am a guy myself, it's difficult how to place myself in your shoes. That, and empathy isn't my best trait. :roll:



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03 Apr 2015, 4:17 pm

If you do a video I'll give you my honest opinion on how I think you present yourself.



Scaevitas
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03 Apr 2015, 4:29 pm

You can't judge a person based off of a video session. People have multiple personalistic attributes that define who they are, and you won't be able to do that off of just one video. If you think this is possible, then I can only speculate how many people you've encountered and misjudged, being there was a potential outcome that any of said people would be new friends, or relationships.

I'm sorry, but not sorry.

Besides, the way you worded that could make someone feel pressured that they have to try to fit into meeting another's evaluation and if they aren't portraying to be themselves, then it could be seen as another misjudgment. So if she does a "video", then it won't prove anything.

I could do a video right now, but you'd only get a first impression of how I choose to speak to my audience. Good luck attempting to gauge someone for who they are, when they may just be doing it for acceptance rather than attempting to blend in.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Apr 2015, 4:48 pm

For sharing videos I recommend this:
https://vimeo.com/help/faq/managing-you ... y-settings

Quote:
Only people with a password Protect this video with a password (Note: you can share password protected videos with non-Vimeo members)


You can share its password here, this way you make sure that only people seeing this thread can access it.

But as Scaevitas said, a solo video won't reflect much how you interact with people in real life.



Rabbers
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03 Apr 2015, 4:54 pm

Scaevitas wrote:
You can't judge a person based off of a video session. People have multiple personalistic attributes that define who they are, and you won't be able to do that off of just one video. If you think this is possible, then I can only speculate how many people you've encountered and misjudged, being there was a potential outcome that any of said people would be new friends, or relationships.

I'm sorry, but not sorry.

Besides, the way you worded that could make someone feel pressured that they have to try to fit into meeting another's evaluation and if they aren't portraying to be themselves, then it could be seen as another misjudgment. So if she does a "video", then it won't prove anything.

I could do a video right now, but you'd only get a first impression of how I choose to speak to my audience. Good luck attempting to gauge someone for who they are, when they may just be doing it for acceptance rather than attempting to blend in.


A video isn't ideal as it's not going to represent a normal interaction but Goofy said she doesn't know anyone in real life who will be honest with her. If she wants to make one I'm happy to give my opinion -which will, of course, be one persons opinion.
I don't personally care what people look like or what their mannerisms are like etc so long as they are a good person but most people, in my experience, do judge people based on those things.