If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late?

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If I'm 27 and I've only had a girlfriend for six weeks does that make any difference? It was earlier this year. Now that she's gone I feel like getting a girlfriend is no less challenging than it was before. I may find another girlfriend but I just hope I don't end up like one of those guys who are in a relationship or even married and yet still feel bitter that they didn't have a girlfriend during their youth. I'm worried that could be me one day.

Don't envy women for that reason. It's hard not being the initiator. As a guy, if you see a girl you like, you have to work up the courage to ask her out but you are the one who chooses who you go out with. In the traditional system (which I think is sexist and old fashioned but it persists to this day)... in the traditional system if a girl sees a guy she likes, she just has to wait and hope that he will ask her out. She can send signals but the guy might not notice it. In the traditional system, girls have less choice about who they go out with because they can only choose from who have actually asked them out.

Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 21 Apr 2015, 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Says who?




He probably meant motivation to make money, ....and two salaries are always better than one - hence more financial stability.
For instance, most middle-poor-class couples here would be only capable to get a house after merging salaries (after things getting serious, ie. engagement), something that they wouldn't be able to get individually in a million of years.

Might be a cultural thing. I don't know what it's like to be in Lebanon.

http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/89-503-x/2 ... 87-eng.htm

Stats in canada clearly show that less women than men work, and much less mothers than fathers work, and women are more likely to work temporarily or part time.

So as a whole, the more financially reliant (and the more dependent) gender in Canada....is women, no?

Unless you are not talking about the financial aspect of self-reliance?

Well I wouldn't define self-reliance as employment, but it is an example of it.
There are other ways to make money - from selling crafts to prostitution.

And there are needs other than money. For myself, I have to be emotionally self-reliant because I don't have anyone to talk through things with.

I'm not saying having a partner would be like she would be a fairy with a magic wand to make me become financially stable, I meant having companionship would make me feel better about myself, which in then would make me have more motivation to take more action in my life to become financially stable, which would mean I would have more ambition

It's never too late. You'll meet someone that's right for you eventually.

That's a long string of ifs. Companionship helps to feel good sometimes. I don't know that it would lead to motivation to become financially stable though.

You're 27.

Your current approach to finding a girlfriend hasn't worked.

3 years (until you are 30) is a long time.

A different approach MIGHT yield a different result.



Guys are *usually* the initiators when it comes to romantic relationships, but not always (as girls do ask guys out, girls invite a guy they're interested in to join them in a low-key group activity, etc).

From everything you've written, you want a Manic Pixie Dream Girl -- who will magically give you the confidence to succeed in all other areas of your life.

You have not answered my question -- what do you bring to a relationship? What qualities do you have that make you a desirable boyfriend?

It's never too late, but you may want to examine yourself and see what you could tweak and improve. Trying different approaches may speed up the process, but AS just dread leaving their comfort zone to a pathological degree.
And I'm actually glad we're sort of moving past the stupid gender roles and it's less frowned upon for women to initiate (wanting someone and not being able to pursue is actually pretty frustrating) . If we went back a few decades or centuries, it would be far worse.

The link above wasn't the right one, I edited it.




I think trading is count as work in stats, aside of illegal prostitution I guess.

Look, as long there are way more stay-at-home moms than stay-at-home dads (the latter don't exceed the 1% even in advanced countries) in society means that women overall are still more financially reliant than men (I am not arguing the historical/social reasons for that), reliance (financial and domestic work alike) equality may only reached when those two groups become close to equal in numbers.Otherwise, there's still a major gender imbalance.

You seem to compare single men to single women like you only, but married(/cohabitating) people with kids are the majority.

When a couple get into the car, who's way more likely to be behind the wheel? Last time I read about this that's about 8 out of 10 is the man, in US.



Anyway.....




And how women are way more self-reliant emotionally than men? It is a known fact that women tend to way more likely to vent things to other women while men don't - that's not emotional self-reliance, that's reliance on others, check the reasons why 3 to 4 times men commit suicide than women.

Men are way less likely to vent their issues in real life to friends/people (online forums don't count), or to seek a psychologist, because they are conditioned since they were boys to be way more emotionally self-reliant. ie. Man up, don't cry, men don't cry, get some balls, crying like girls, crybaby...etc.. are all popular terms (said by men and women) which are way more said to men, and that clearly reflect the emotional self-reliance expectation of men in society.

Because that's how long it will take you to complete your post-secondary education? First of all, you might meet a nice girl during college, not after college. Lots of guys meet their girlfriend in college. Second of all, you don't need a degree to get a good job. I don't have a degree and I have a fairly good job. Third of all, not all girls are gold diggers. I know some guys who are dirt poor and either have a girlfriend or are married. Forth of all, being financially stable is no garuntee of getting a girlfriend. I get paid reasonably well yet I don't have a girlfriend. My previous girlfriend left me, even though she knew I could provide her with financial stability. So money won't help you get a girlfriend and money won't help you keep a girlfriend.What is three years? Think back to when you were 24. If back then, you knew you wouldn't get your first girlfriend until you were 27, would you have been uncomfortable with that also? When you reach 30 will you give up on girls and say "If I can't have my first relationship when I'm in my 20s I never want to have one at all"?Increased venting leads to reduced risk of suicide? In that case I can think of a bunch of guys here who are unlikely to commit suicide.

Depends if it's declared.


So are you saying woman who are rearing children are dependent on men financially?
This has been the case in the past, but these days women have access to work and to social assistance. Sure it might be easier with two parents, but it's not necessary. (This is my experience in Canada anyway)

I'm not sure the ability to vent defines emotional self-reliance.

Isn't undeclared trade illegal in Canada?




Any parent who is not rearing the child would has no choice but to depend on the working parent for bills, food and roof on head, no? I know marriage shouldn't be described as business deal but put love aside, financially-wise, a staying-at-home-parent needs the working-parent's money after all, no?



I am not arguing if it's becoming easier, I am just trying to decipher the "way more self-reliant" in your post - the most puzzling part to me in this statement is the "way" part.



The one who doesn't vent means he/she's more capable to just suck it up and go on, meaning more emotionally self-reliant, that has its cons tho.
Society as a whole, as I have explained in details in previous post, push men/boys to suppress many emotions.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 22 Apr 2015, 1:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes.



Not where I live.


Girls too.

Enlighten me, how Canadian stay-at-home parents would survive if they neither work nor relay on partner's finances?

State aids? I guess this is limited tho.





Nope, not as much.




http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expressive_Suppression

A good article on the subject:

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/02/ ... otionally/

Every man on earth experiences this: