woman84 wrote:
He makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I have a good memory but he makes me doubt reality.
That's a real thing in abusive relationships and it's called gas lighting.
I work at a women's shelter and what you are saying is frightening and concerns me to no end. I also encourage you to leave this situation. It is not safe for you or your children. I highly encourage you to stay with a friend and try to get back on your feet again and get all your ducks in a row. I don't know about staying with the mil since she may try to reconcile you. When you do leave, just be forewarned that he will say whatever he thinks it will take to get you back- generally either by making promises (he has no intentions of keeping) or by apologizing for past mistakes.
If you do consider entering a shelter, be aware that it does take time to gather the courage to leave him- no matter where you end up going. And that you will switch back and forth between leaving and staying, many many times before you do leave. Don't be too hard on yourself- you've only recently come to the point where you've begun putting all these thoughts and fears into words.
I encourage you to see what options are available to you at this point in time and consider what you might be able to do.
Whatever you decide to do, we're here for you and we know that your thoughts, feelings and experiences are valid and real.
And if you ever need help with anything, feel free to message me.
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--Nyx-- What an astonishing thing a book is. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you... Carl Sagan