11 Jun 2015, 5:42 pm
I can't connect with people to get to the point of being rejected to begin with. 
12 Jun 2015, 2:12 am
OliveOilMom
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Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
12 Jun 2015, 2:29 am
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I actually agree with him; yes, you just need to be nice and look acceptable.
And the proactive approach works like magic for women, look for example at those WP girls who started "seeking a bf" threads got a bf in no time.
Also, go ask the women here, what's weird is that based on their posts I have noticed that a lot of them were the initiators; even a lot of guys who finally got gfs here was because their gfs initiated..
You in particular, is a typical passive girl in the traditional sense , you wait for the guy to initiate conversations, to do the courting , to do the asking out, - everything; and you project onto him your age standard (ie guy must be older; and that's probably a female instinct too).
And of course a guy will run out of topics if he has to start conversation everytime, if the converasation initation is two ways it woud lead to more topics/conversation in exponential rate.
He's so right in this post, try this.
And the proactive approach works like magic for women, look for example at those WP girls who started "seeking a bf" threads got a bf in no time.
Also, go ask the women here, what's weird is that based on their posts I have noticed that a lot of them were the initiators; even a lot of guys who finally got gfs here was because their gfs initiated..
You in particular, is a typical passive girl in the traditional sense , you wait for the guy to initiate conversations, to do the courting , to do the asking out, - everything; and you project onto him your age standard (ie guy must be older; and that's probably a female instinct too).
And of course a guy will run out of topics if he has to start conversation everytime, if the converasation initation is two ways it woud lead to more topics/conversation in exponential rate.
He's so right in this post, try this.
Boo you put that so much better than Gauldoth. He just riled me up.
I've realised that I am concerned about how other people think I should act rather than how I want to act, which annoys me because I don't want to care what other people think, but I still feel like I'll get made fun of. I think that I will be seen as too old to approach younger men and will get laughed at. Not sure why that bothers me, maybe I'm thinking of those weird older single women that my friends laughed at when we were younger. One of my friends ."even said to me "I think that you need someone older actually" yes it was a female friend, but I've always got on better with people who are older than me, like her parents are my best friends, so I think that's where she was coming from rather than a gender stereotype of girls can't date younger men.
I do need to be more outgoing, but having been bullied when I was younger I lost my confidence and I feel like everything social that I do is wrong. It's hard to shake that.
So I can understand why the OP thinks she's too forward, especially when someone told her she is. Sometimes it's so difficult to get it right.
Oh honey, you can SO date younger men! My best friend is the Cougar Extraordinaire! She's in her 40's and doesn't date guys over 30. They flock to her too. You just have to know how to work that whole thing I guess. If I was single, I couldn't do that because I see anybody any where near my own kids age as "kids". I don't mean I don't think they are competent to do a job or something and I wouldn't refuse to be seen by a 28 year old doctor, etc, but I don't see them as romatically or sexually attractive. I may certainly notice that he's a very good looking boy, but I would be shocked and basically offended for some reason if he came on to me. For me it's the whole parent/child dynamic that sets inappropriate ages. In other words, if you are young enough to have possibly been able to come out of it, there is no chance that any of you is ever going to go into it or get anywhere near it. Crude, but true.
But, a lot of younger guys like older women. It skeeves me out but thats just me. Most aren't like me and I don't judge what the Cougars do, it's just not for me. There is even a site for younger guys in their 20's and Cougars to meet up and date. Really. Check it out sometimes.
Of course if you are going to be a Cougar, you have to keep up with the trends and know what they are talking about. That means dressing younger, in some ways, and knowing their bands and pop culture references. Not for all of them though, there's a type that would want you to be more out of the loop on younger stuff, but that might be more along the lines of a fetish than a preference, so I don't know. I just know what she does. Before she got with the douchebag she's with now, who I hate btw, she had a new guy every other week it seemed. She would pick them, she would dump them when she got tired of them. They rarely left her, and trust me she wasn't a sugar mama either. They were the ones who took her out and spent money on her, not vice versa. So, the Cougar life isn't what some think it is and if you want that then honey you go for it. I'll certainly stand behind you for giving it a try!
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
WantToHaveALife
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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,187
Location: California, United States
12 Jun 2015, 11:11 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
queensamaria wrote:
Thank you all. But I am really not ready to have a boyfriend. I need to work on my relationship with God and myself first.
Look, you want some real advice? If you really want to get a boyfriend, forget all that crap. You're a woman, you don't need to be dominant (which is what people actually mean when they tell others they need to be "confident"), or in touch with your true self, or whatever other nonsense dating advice writers tell ugly, low-status guys like me that we need to be because they don't have the gall to come out and tell us the reason we can't find anyone is because we're ugly and low-status.
You want to find a boyfriend? Act nice (yes, I just said that. Niceness is actually an attractive trait in women) and improve your appearance. That's it, that's all you need to do. If you want to tilt the odds in your favor even further, take an active approach and actually ask guys on the out. On the off-chance this doesn't work, or you find yourself having a lot of casual sex and ONSes with no follow-up, then that means you're shooting for guys who are way above your level (a very common mistake amongst women today) and need to lower standards. There, there's nothing more that needs to be said. You want a boyfriend? Do what I described here, if you don't, then don't.
What a horrible response
Load of rubbishI actually agree with him; yes, you just need to be nice and look acceptable.
And the proactive approach works like magic for women, look for example at those WP girls who started "seeking a bf" threads got a bf in no time.
Also, go ask the women here, what's weird is that based on their posts I have noticed that a lot of them were the initiators; even a lot of guys who finally got gfs here was because their gfs initiated..
You in particular, is a typical passive girl in the traditional sense , you wait for the guy to initiate conversations, to do the courting , to do the asking out, - everything; and you project onto him your age standard (ie guy must be older; and that's probably a female instinct too).
And of course a guy will run out of topics if he has to start conversation everytime, if the converasation initation is two ways it woud lead to more topics/conversation in exponential rate.
He's so right in this post, try this.
Sadly over 90 percent of women are not like that, they would easily rather pass up an opportunity to be with a guy than to initiate conversation with him first
12 Jun 2015, 3:43 pm
22 Jun 2015, 8:32 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Listen queenmaria, I've been on wrongplanet for years, and I can assure this from year to year observation: No female on wp who whined about not having a boyfriend has stayed not having a boyfriend for too long 
.
So yeah, keep whining, and you'll get a boyfriend in no time.
.So yeah, keep whining, and you'll get a boyfriend in no time.
More like left out. I don't have a boyfriend, because I don't what to do when finding one.
22 Jun 2015, 9:14 pm
Aristophanes wrote:
autismthinker21 wrote:
I can tell you this, your better off. i dont mean it in a mean and insulting way. i am single myself and sometimes i just think about all the times i was hanging with girls and one was a crush on me. but i didnt wanna deal with her. so dont worry, having a guy doesnt mean its better. its more like getting you to make him you. imagine carrying a torch and the flame is not there. the guy is the flame. the stick is the body. without that flame, the stick is not worth having. you can always message me on here if you wanna. 
First rule of relationships: if you're gonna hit on her don't be passive because you'll be sending mixed signals and she won't understand your intentions.
"You can always message me on here if you wanna"-- just isn't going to cut it.
Have some gusto: "I read some of your previous posts and think you've got a gorgeous personality. I'd like to chat you up, can I private message YOU?"
To the OP: many NT men have to be the aggressor, it's part of "the game". If you're chasing them they feel emasculated and therefore have no interest. I know it's the 21st century and all, but NTs still run on animal instincts and therefore the game should most likely be played the way they prefer: look confident and pretty and they will approach you. It's ridiculous and shallow in my opinion but it's the world we live in. You could also try online dating as an alternative.
wait your saying you are a aggressor? i was displaying how i felt about that persons post. i am just being open for her to talk if she wants to with me. i dont see anything wrong with that.
WantToHaveALife
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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,187
Location: California, United States
29 Jun 2015, 2:46 pm
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