Why do girls stop messaging me? Need advice

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I go to a lot of meetups, and its actually the same situation there as with dating sites. Mostly a lot of men showing up and a few women, regardless if its a dating or just a shared interest meetup. If a woman really wants to date, I don't think its too hard to find somebody.

My experience has been the complete opposite: I would say 70% women. My problem (was) that everyone was 40+ on all the meetups I went to.

I had both of your experiences, when the meetups of young people, it's like what Vomelche said, if for a random age range, it's like what you said.
single 40+ old women simply have a much harder time to find dates than young women, hence why are way more motivated to go to meetups and meet new people.

So you're all telling me that women have it easier when it comes to dating? At least in terms of prospects.


Yah tell me something I don't know...

I think autistics have a harder time with unnaturally created dating. We don't pick up on social cues quickly enough. And if there's no common interest the conversation can be stilted. Internet dating seems to have a different and complex code of communication. I've given up on it.

Just why does 'dating' and even friendship for that matter have to be some unnatural, contrived, artificial process with created rules and guidelines that for some reason must be followed?

I call it 'the game', personally.

I do all I can to bend, avoid, or when I must, break the rules.

Love and friendship deal with emotions, not social constructs and all this other garbage.

What shocks me the most is those that are well aware of the 'rules' and actively choose to follow them.

In some cases it makes dating 'fun' by playing the game, in other cases it's pure bullsh*t moves.

For instance, if you are female and attracted to a male, and even if you are not too shy to ask him out, you simply choose not to because you think 'the male' must do it? Or playing 'hard to get' when you are well aware the feelings are mutual and you're only discouraging him from pursuing you further, and all this other annoying sh*t.

What did I do? I asked the girl I liked out for coffee, but she did not see it as a date, even though I tried my best to imply it was one.

No big deal. I 'hung' out with her, then asked her to hang out again same time same place. On our 'second date' I hinted that it was a date and began to express my feelings and she picked it up. Third date she had to tell me she only wanted to be friends but we still went out, had fun and now are happily friends.

I bypassed the game completely. Most of the time you have to get to know her friends, and she has to get to know your's, and it is this constant playing the game for a few months to work up the confidence to ask them out when interest is mutual.

I wasted no time and took just 3 mere weeks to get a first 'date'.

Anyway, yeah. Bend the rules, everyone. It works wonders. The first date I ever had was when I DIDN'T do things the way they are 'supposed' to be done.

Sorry to cut and paste your post, but ... I am in the position of being attracted to someone I met at work. I have gotten a new job and won't see him anymore. But I think we kind of hit it off. So...
what is the appropriate way for a women to ask a guy out?

I think I saw your post earlier in the forums, but wasn't it your boss?

My example is a general one and doesn't take individual situations into account.

I'm just talking about situations where two people can begin dating or a relationship and nothing is standing in their way, but due to the actions of one or even both of them it just isn't happening.

I think when pursuing someone all kinds of obstacles usually exist but if there is none of these then why isn't it happening?

If something or someone actually is standing in your way, like even just the thought that it just doesn't seem right to ask him out (maybe because it would be too inappropriate, like you say), than that isn't an example of what I mean.

Well, how to ask out a male even if you don't feel it would be appropriate?

Question is why it would be inappropriate. Because he is a co-worker, because of an age difference possibly, are they your boss possibly, insert X number of other possible reasons here, because you are a woman and it is not traditional? Etc.

If it is ONLY because you are a woman and it is not traditional gender roles, than I suggest just finding the confidence and do it.

That's my opinion/argument. You're only closing yourself off the love and relationships if it comes your way and you still don't want it to happen even though you have no reasons why it shouldn't.

And I am not even talking about where one person is attracted to you and you don't feel the same. If you don't feel the same you have every right to say no for whatever half-thought excuses you can make up.

I just mean when things really are mutual, when you've met a nice person and you hit it off with them well and they like you just as much as you like them, etc. Than you kind of are closing yourself off, if you choose not to pursue them when you have no reasons against it...

If you want them and they want you...if ain't nothin' in your way...

It might not be your questions or profile at all but your photos or assortment. Having a good combination of facial and body photos can make the world of difference, yes, online dating is really shallow.

You need to realize that what you write in your profile is supplemental to your photos and personal details as such as your income. Most will look at your photo before they look at your message..

There are a few tricks to get your profile out there, my friend uses an auto clicker to rate women five stars on OkCupid, sometimes he leaves it on overnight and wakes up to an inbox of messages.

He's not my boss anymore.
I will try to ""bump into him at his work."
Thanks!

My view. The girls that you chat with, are all But connect their brain to a network constant. If you have problems with them. They have No idea your in their bad trap of non sense. Slot of women talk all day and night. Chat with girls that make sense.

People stop messenging other people on those sites for many reasons.

Here are a few of the more common ones:

1. They liked talking to you, but then they viewed your pic, and decided that you aren't attractive/attractive enough.

2. They were talking to other people besides you, and they decided they liked someone else better.

3. Someone else asked them out faster than you.

4. They recieved a better "offer"

5. They are just a flaky person.


If you ask me, online dating is a horrible way to meet people, especially for guys. Basically the woman is like an employer, offering a single position, and the guys are like a bunch of potential employees, begging for a job. It doesn't matter how good of an employee they would make, because she can reject any of their resumes, for any reason, based on her first impression of them.

Last edited by SilverStar on 22 Jun 2015, 12:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yup. There is too much competition from other guys on the internet. Go somewhere in real life, where there aren't 100 other guys vowing for the same girl, and you will have a much better chance.

Yes, this.


More parallels:

Profile = Resume
First message (that women demand it to be "attentive" and "unique") = Job Cover letter
Women ignoring message = screening out
positively replying = screening in
Date = Job Interview
Silence after date 1 = employer's silence after interview 1
Accepting/Suggesting date 2 = 2nd interview.
Silence after few dates while all interaction was ok = employer found a better candidate


The only thing I can't find a parallel for it is the pay thing, candidates usually don't pay for the cookies or whatever in the interview, women beat employers at that! A fee for the 'interview'!

That is funny, but it's sooo true.

Just don't give employers any ideas...the job market's tough enough right now, we can't afford to start paying them for interviews.

It is no wonder why HR recruitment industry is dominated by women; they naturally excel in judging first impressions.