Autistic boyfriend over friendly with other girls

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I have a little story. My ex NT friend (Mr. Alaska - because he lived in Alaska) were friends who met online and we texted everyday for 4 yrs. Some of it was flirtatious and we probably would have been going out if he lived in Kansas. Anyway, he finally found a German woman that decided to marry him and live in Alaska. Thing is he thought he was going to carry on our "friendship" like he'd been doing and I told him his new wife wasn't going to allow that. He disagreed. So we kept texting like we had been. On Christmas Day I got a call from his new wife (she found me on Facebook and my number in his phone) saying I better not be texting him anymore or she was going to divorce him. She thought our texts were too flirtatious and more than "just friends". I honestly could see her point and stopped texting him that very day. My point is, our texts were flirtatious and I'm not going to lie when I say I would have liked to have had more but he was a married man. You may think that it's only harmless flirting, but it wasn't to me. I was getting my emotional needs met through this flirting. I definitely had feelings for my Mr. Alaska. That's why when I say if my husband/boyfriend was flirting with someone then that someone better be me or I'm outta there. I know where a little harmless flirting can lead.

It died when women started seeing men as ATMs and valuing them by money... (HINT FOR YOU )

Hi, I am new to this group and I'm hoping there's some people out there who can help me with my relationship. I have been with my autistic boyfriend for almost 9 months now, we live together and I love him very much. Most of the time our relationship is fantastic but there is one problem we have that keeps coming up. My boyfriend is very social media active and unlike a lot of what I have read he is very sociable on facebook and other apps like snapchat and whatsapp. He is constantly on his phone on these social apps or texting. The problem comes from that fact that he is always talking to other women. Some of these women I have no problem with, they are his friends and were before I met him, I would not ask him to give up friends when he comes into a relationship whether they're male or female. My problem is with these women that he knew along time ago or very briefly and has no real friendship with them. From what I can gather they usually get in touch with him and then he will be constantly talking to them, texting first thing in the morning and all throughout the day. About two months ago I saw some of the messages from a girl and the context was very flirty from both of them, I was hurt and confused and couldn't help confront him. He seemed to not understand why I was hurt and denied he had done anything wrong, he told me they were just friends like he does every time he starts texting a new girl. We kind of got past this but with not a lot of dealing with it. I am still hurt and now I know how he talks to these girls I am very worried. Recently he started talking to a girl he knew briefly a year ago, they were seeing each other but nothing came of it. I tried to explain to him that this girl was probably interested in him and he should tell her he has a girlfriend. He replied he will when it comes up. He continued to message her all the time and not mention me. I thought about ending the relationship because it feels to me he would rather be single. He has told me he loves me but I can't understand why he is constantly talking to other women ALL the time and starting new relationships with them.

This is a long rant but I'm lost and don't know what to do! I don't want to loose him but i feel like I'm being cheated on emotionally and I can't see why he acts this way when he knows how much it hurts me.

Please help!!

Might be polyamory. That's common enough in neurodiversity. Much more common than one might think, I believe.

I'm finding that this "poly" stuff is more prominent in the male Aspie community (I don't know what Aspie females think).

It died when women started seeing men as ATMs and valuing them by money... (HINT FOR YOU )

This kind if crappy comment I'm not even going to answer anymore. Guys who think like this better get used to the women of today being able to be more choosy about wanting a man who is financially stable and who is more their "equal" in monetary means as well as in other ways. It seems I'm only getting flack from men who don't make as much as myself which to me comes across as jealousy on their part. As another guy in another thread said "Why would a person want to marry down and to someone who isn't their equal?" And what I really find funny is that a person will knock me down for wanting a guy who is financially stable and call me every name in the book, but think its ok for them to have a relationship with several women. How shallow and egotistical is that?!

It's just as common in both genders, so it is not a male thing at all.

I'm not saying its a "male" thing, I'm saying its a "male Aspie" thing.

I had never even heard of this poly - whatever until I came to the Aspie community. I also never met an Athiest until I went on an Aspie website. I really believe it had to do with the logical way of thinking that is more prominent in Aspies.

I'm sure NT people want more than one partner at certain times but they usually have affairs when married and most feel guilty about it and divorce usually happens. Open relationships aren't seen as much (to me) in NT relationships.

When I hear a woman over-talks about financial stability, she usually turns out to be a gold-digger or at least, too valuing money over anything in men.

The demand of "he must be equal financially or MORE" is usually a sure sign for that - as if, what if his salary got reduced to less than yours during marriage (and couldn't find better anytime soon), you stop loving him? Meh.

It's not. It's just as common in "Aspie" (neurodiverse) women. I've had this question in several variants and it is not gender biased. However, most people are not aware that they are polyamory since our cultural norms says everybody should be monogamous.



It's not. Polyamory is related to other neurodiverse relationship preferences like forming stronger than normal attachments. It's not related to logical thinking.



Yes, because they cannot share love and attention, so these things in monogamous people lead to divorce. Which is the primary reason why you should know about being polyamory if you or your partner happens to fall in love with somebody else so you can reason about it from an polyamory perspective instead of divorcing.

Look Boo, I've already answered all if that, but you and others just want to pull out of my comments what YOU want to believe I'm saying. I have already said I want someone financially as stable as myself in case I were to lose my job (and I did last year). If they lost theirs, then of course I would do all I had to to maintain the lifestyle we had together and my job allows for me to do that. They would also have to be actively looking for a job too - just like I did when I found myself unemployed. I want the same lifestyle that I am living now, as well as, having a Hunny to share that with me. I wouldn't be happy if I had to live differently from the way I'm living now and if that to you is snobbish then so be it. I have worked hard for what I have and I want someone who also believes in working hard and who has goals in their life and who wants to better themselves - like me. I know what I want in a partner and I'm not going to settle. Any man who feels confident in themselves and what they are doing in their life should find nothing wrong with the way I think.

It's not. It's just as common in "Aspie" (neurodiverse) women. I've had this question in several variants and it is not gender biased. However, most people are not aware that they are polyamory since our cultural norms says everybody should be monogamous.



It's not. Polyamory is related to other neurodiverse relationship preferences like forming stronger than normal attachments. It's not related to logical thinking.



Yes, because they cannot share love and attention, so these things in monogamous people lead to divorce. Which is the primary reason why you should know about being polyamory if you or your partner happens to fall in love with somebody else so you can reason about it from an polyamory perspective instead of divorcing.

I see a lot of this s**t in life btw, when a woman loses her job, the man usually don't leave her for that and never puts a deadline on her to find a job, I've never seen men doing that, even if that means a bit sacrifice of a certain lifestyle, but when the opposite happens, the woman puts a deadline on the man and would even leave him for that.

So in other word, if your man loses his job, or his salary got reduced he has to find another before a deadline, and it has to have a salary SAME or MORE...or else, no more love, it's time to love ANOTHER MAN who is 'financially stable'! ! That defeats the "REAL LOVE" that you are so complaining why it doesn't exist anymore .