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A friend with benefits admitting to have feelings for me.

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nurseangela
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21 Aug 2015, 1:49 am

Howdy. I could have told you this would happen, Boo. This is what I was talking to my Aspie friend about - that swinging stuff. NT women are not like men (not sure about Aspie women), you can't just screw them without any feelings involved. I gotta tell you that I'm still trying to figure out how men can just have sex with someone and turn their feelings off like a switch. That's WEIRD. And if a guy that I'm with can just go have sex with someone else and think of them as some big blow up doll, what does that say about his feelings for me? Is he going to turn off the "feeling light switch" if I look cross-eyed at him? It kinda gives me the creeps to be honest with you.


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rdos
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21 Aug 2015, 2:54 am

nurseangela wrote:
Howdy. I could have told you this would happen, Boo. This is what I was talking to my Aspie friend about - that swinging stuff. NT women are not like men (not sure about Aspie women), you can't just screw them without any feelings involved. I gotta tell you that I'm still trying to figure out how men can just have sex with someone and turn their feelings off like a switch. That's WEIRD. And if a guy that I'm with can just go have sex with someone else and think of them as some big blow up doll, what does that say about his feelings for me? Is he going to turn off the "feeling light switch" if I look cross-eyed at him? It kinda gives me the creeps to be honest with you.


I think it has to do with "bonding with sex" or not. There is no switch. Either you bond with sex or you don't. Even if asexuality and hypersexuality might seem very different, I think there is reason to believe that they have one thing in common: Not to bond with sex. Because if somebody doesn't bond with sex, they can have it all the time without ever getting connected to anybody, something that can lead to hypersexuality.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Aug 2015, 4:42 am

nurseangela wrote:
Howdy. I could have told you this would happen, Boo. This is what I was talking to my Aspie friend about - that swinging stuff. NT women are not like men (not sure about Aspie women), you can't just screw them without any feelings involved. I gotta tell you that I'm still trying to figure out how men can just have sex with someone and turn their feelings off like a switch. That's WEIRD. And if a guy that I'm with can just go have sex with someone else and think of them as some big blow up doll, what does that say about his feelings for me? Is he going to turn off the "feeling light switch" if I look cross-eyed at him? It kinda gives me the creeps to be honest with you.


Some women can do that too, that conversation happened just yesterday (not with the girl of the original post).


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nurseangela
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21 Aug 2015, 4:45 am

rdos wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Howdy. I could have told you this would happen, Boo. This is what I was talking to my Aspie friend about - that swinging stuff. NT women are not like men (not sure about Aspie women), you can't just screw them without any feelings involved. I gotta tell you that I'm still trying to figure out how men can just have sex with someone and turn their feelings off like a switch. That's WEIRD. And if a guy that I'm with can just go have sex with someone else and think of them as some big blow up doll, what does that say about his feelings for me? Is he going to turn off the "feeling light switch" if I look cross-eyed at him? It kinda gives me the creeps to be honest with you.


I think it has to do with "bonding with sex" or not. There is no switch. Either you bond with sex or you don't. Even if asexuality and hypersexuality might seem very different, I think there is reason to believe that they have one thing in common: Not to bond with sex. Because if somebody doesn't bond with sex, they can have it all the time without ever getting connected to anybody, something that can lead to hypersexuality.


Ok. So what you're saying is its one or the other - you bond or don't bond with all sex? My Aspie friend says that he can bond with sex, but then talks about the swinging thing and being able to think of people as "life size toys". Is that not possible?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Aug 2015, 5:20 am

Shocked angela? :lol:



nurseangela
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21 Aug 2015, 5:42 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Shocked angela? :lol:


No, Boo. I don't even know who wrote that. I'd like to hear from real people (women) here.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
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22 Aug 2015, 5:30 am

Boo, your post above. I can't even right now. What a messed up person. As for what you said, I know. I just think it's funny. He's attracting all these women constantly. He just had another recently (that I didn't learn about until a few days ago). She turned out to be a weirdo, too, who wouldn't tell him why she wanted to break up. He thought everything was going well.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Aug 2015, 3:20 pm

Her mom died today, she was talking to her last night on skype and she went sleep and didn't wake up.
She's returning to her country next week because of that, much earlier than she planned.

She sent me a long goodbye message informing me of all that and thanked me for the good time.

Despite the childish and the crazy stuff she did, for some reason, now I am feeling like a pig submerged in feces. :-/ :-(



Kinme
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22 Aug 2015, 5:12 pm

Wow. That was unexpected!



sly279
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23 Aug 2015, 2:08 am

nurseangela wrote:
Howdy. I could have told you this would happen, Boo. This is what I was talking to my Aspie friend about - that swinging stuff. NT women are not like men (not sure about Aspie women), you can't just screw them without any feelings involved. I gotta tell you that I'm still trying to figure out how men can just have sex with someone and turn their feelings off like a switch. That's WEIRD. And if a guy that I'm with can just go have sex with someone else and think of them as some big blow up doll, what does that say about his feelings for me? Is he going to turn off the "feeling light switch" if I look cross-eyed at him? It kinda gives me the creeps to be honest with you.


women do it too.

one tried to pressure me into sex. other one stopped talking to me and even ignores me in public after we did it. she wanted me to leave pretty quickly after it too. I thought we were going to be friends. as much as i wanted sex i dont' think i would done it if i knew it was a one night stand. we'd talked for a few weeks, i honestly thought we were going be friends, couldnt' do more because she going move after college. idk if people can actually do fwb as in friends who have sex. not two random people who have sex. well I learned my lesson. idk maybe other guys would been fine with .idk