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Would touch flirting make you uncomfortable?

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IncredibleFrog
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08 Sep 2015, 4:53 am

rdos wrote:
Moccu wrote:
Flirting verbally/physically is really playful and fun, but if he doesn't fully grasp it, then maybe you should persuade more by touch-flirting when he initiates a hug and stuff. I think it's far less awkward when both people are tangled up together, so it doesn't feel one-sided and uncalled for.


Since he is not an NT, he likely finds hugging somebody that is neither a friend nor a partner really awkward, so why would you want to make him feel awkward just because you enjoy it? There are ways to flirt with neurodiverse people that don't feel invasive for them (eye-contact), so why not use them instead?


We aren't "partners", but we are best friends. I definitely wouldn't hug him if I didn't know him well. I asked if it bothered him and he said no and even tried to hug me, so I'm guessing it's ok.



nerdygirl
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08 Sep 2015, 5:09 am

I think the most awkward part of touching is knowing when & how to initiate or respond.

I don't like it when people I am not close to touch me. But I like an occasional hug or caress from people who are my family or close friends. In those instances, most times I'd rather them just do it. I will either lean into it or squirm away, depending on whether or not I want the touch at that moment. My family and close friends don't take offense at this.

What I hate is the "obligatory" greeting hugs and kisses (usually at gatherings.) I'd rather completely dispense with that.

The biggest question for me is when a friend is a close enough friend to "touch" and how to break that barrier.

OP, I think in your situation this guy likes you and doesn't mind your touch. It might surprise him, but it seems that you have a close enough relationship that he would tell you to stop if he was uncomfortable or didn't like it. If he ever communicates that, just respect his wishes and stop. But if he doesn't communicate that, keep doing what you're doing.



Spiderpig
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08 Sep 2015, 6:30 am

nerdygirl wrote:
What I hate is the "obligatory" greeting hugs and kisses (usually at gatherings.) I'd rather completely dispense with that.


I could do without those, too. However, since I was a little boy, I was never as much as suggested I had any right to reject them. In fact, I was often expected to initiate them and pretend I was eager to exchange them.


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