Almost 30, single, and worried about never finding love

Post Reply New Topic

are you still a virgin?

Recently turned 33, don't have a girlfriend, never had one. Not to say that I don't want one. I just never knew what to do with girls. I haven't completely lost hope yet, I'm still (relatively) young.

My younger sister is getting married soon (she's NT and 31) and I could get depressed about this, or I could just say 'Oh well, I can't compare my life to other people's. It will happen if and when it happens'

I recently met a guy, who told me he did not get his very first girlfriend until the age of 31, he says that even though he was happy when he finally got his first girlfriend, he told me he still occasionally gets jealous, envious, bitter, resentful, even enraged at people who got to date, have relationships and a sex life earlier than he did, I have a feeling i'll still feel like that if I ever do get a girlfriend, me being 27 and still single.

I think some people are just not happy being happy.

Because it totally makes sense to become enraged at something that (1) you cannot, no matter how much you rage, change in the slightest and (2) you are 100% responsible for.

Please elaborate. How is it possible to be responsible for something that you can't change?

1. The thing that can't be changed is not having dated/had sex until age X, if you are X + 1 years old.

2. There are 3.5 billion women on the planet. Bob is still a virgin. Either all females on Earth got together and collectively agreed to never, ever date or have sex with him OR Bob's behavior results in no woman on Earth wanting to have sex with him. The former is pretty darn close to logistically impossible, so the latter's the case.

Katy, you again with your stupid "3.5 billion women on the planet" logic, most adult people are stuck in work-home-hobby routines and barely meet any new people.

No guy is evaluated by countless number of women unless he's some celeb.

So whose fault is it when a guy cannot get a date? Surely that doesn't fall on the women of world!

Surely not since "the women of the world" usually aren't even aware of the guy's existence in the first place.

Modern Western Society as a whole would be at fault, for keeping adult people stuck in routines with little time to branch out and meet new individuals. The times define people, people define the times, it's a never ending circle of who's to blame.

There's a book called In The Meantime...although it is for women, there might be something there you can learn. You must find people like you to hang out with, with your same interests and most of all, be happy being alone. Yes, I did this for years. All my cousins, girlfriends, etc. were all getting married, were married, had boyfriends and I was out in left field. I learned to go out to the movies alone on a Saturday night and enjoy myself, I learned to go out to a bar alone and enjoy myself. I learned to go everywhere alone and enjoy myself. Once you are able to do this, people will be more attracted to you as you will be a peaceful person...however, it also means that you will be much more picky as to who you allow in your life. Don't fret. I have a few friends from work who were over 40 when they first had a girlfriend. Both were married over 12 years ago and are still happily married. It happens, you just need to focus on you and what you want in life instead of focusing on finding someone...

No one said it's the women.

The angry guy described by WantToHavelife is "he still occasionally gets jealous, envious, bitter, resentful, even enraged at people who got to date, have relationships and a sex life earlier than he did, "

He did not say he's blaming women of the world, he's simply feeling jealous of people.

If meeting new people is important to an individual, they have the option of making time to meet new people, eg get up 1 hr earlier to join a running club or a post-work meetup or cooking class.

Plenty of adults successfully branch out and meet new people. The motivated ones. People do what is important to them.

A guy who is still single has only himself to blame. A girl who is still single has only herself to blame. Personal responsibility. No one is entitled to a cruise directed social life.

^^
Ok, but there are some people who can do that well: They might be lacking money, they might be having a dependent sick parent, they might have an extremely demanding work, they might have autism...etc.

No one is blaming anyone here though, I don't know why you are bringing up this all the time.

...

Last edited by Tempora on 08 Oct 2015, 4:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.