I Feel Like I Was Lead On

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To the original poster: your male friend is acting exactly like the female friend I just cut out of my life. She did not respect my feelings ar all. She did not respect my boundaries either. And she refused to admit she did anything wrong. She insulted me repeatedly for setting boundaries and sticking to them. Eventually I had to block all contact. It wasn't that I didn't want to continue being friends with her. It's just that I could not tolerate her self-centered and abusive behavior anymore. It is stressful for me because we have shared events and she keeps trying to pull me back in every time I see her. I don't know what to tell you to do in your situation. I just find the similarities between your situation and mine striking. One tip I have is rehearsing situations where you will be in contact with him. I have had to do this and it has kept me from reacting the wrong way when she has tried to provoke me. I've been able to stick to my boundaries no matter what she has done to try to get me to change my mind.

Friendship between a single straight woman and single straight man simply doesn't work - eventually something happens from one side...

I tend to agree with you on that. I try to avoid friendships with females unless there is no chance of an attraction developing. Even then I am cautious. When feelings develop and they are not reciprocated, it can get very uncomfortable.

If it is a woman I am attracted to, then I try to approach it as dating from the start, not friendship. Something I am also learning is boundaries with females who are in committed relationships. We can be friends but I have to take their partner's feelings into consideration. I don't want to create jealousy or put myself in a situation where it is tempting for me and my female friend to take it to a sexual level. Male-female friendships always seem to be more complicated.

It's just complicated. I think Boo's right about the guy masking his actual thoughts.

This is usually true, but there exceptions, obviously. This is why I would never go out with someone that has a bunch of guy friends hanging around.

And it's usually the male friend who falls for her and feels attracted to the female friend, more often than the other way around; and the female friend often can tell but is often in denial about it.

When women say that they can just be friends, they are just talking about themselves. Many have the attitude "as long as I'm not romantically interested in them, then it's just a friendship, and it's ok". I think the only exceptions would be if the guy was gay, asexual, or for one reason or another, genuinely not interested (this is usually when the girl becomes romantically attracted, though).

There are also many guys that are in denial about it as well. I'm not sure if it's because they don't want to cause problems in the "friendship", and risk losing the girl, or if they are just too embarrased to admit their feelings.