My girlfriend told me I am greedy and selfish, am I?

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Aspie girls may or may not be materialistic, but I don't know about NT ones.

This is good advice.

Okay thanks for the advice. She doesn't have Asperger's though. I have autism, which is why I checked this site out. Perhaps my condition is also not making me see the situation right?

Well I had a talk with her about the situation and she says that we can come to a compromise. I can have a separate account with my money in for the marriage and she can have hers, if that works better. But is that possible in a marriage, or should it be that way?

I was told by a couple of others that I should get a pre-nup, where as some women think it's really inappropriate of a man to ask that before a marriage. What do you think?

I could get a pre-nup to give me control of all my money now, so I can decide what to do with it since I am currently buying a house and investing in a business for my future career. But is that a fair compromise, or would that even work, in order for me to still use a good portion of money for those things? Of course any other money I make will be put towards sharing with my wife.

What do you think? Is that a fair thing to ask of her? If so, then how should I go about asking her?

You're not being selfish, you're being smart. She seriously thought she was "worth more than $15" after you cooked her a good meal? Her manipulating you and labeling you selfish is just her way of getting you to spend money on her. No offense, but based on what I read, your girlfriend sounds annoying. Do you see yourself with her in the coming years?

What is possible with separate finances depends on where you live--in the USA every state is different--I assume the same is true for Canadian Provinces, since the residents of Alberta have different ideas about a lot of things than those in Quebec.

Do it ASAP. Do not get married without a prenup. Especially considering that you are autistic and all the more prone to being manipulated.

Look at divorce rates. You can not afford to not get a prenup. Make sure you own all your stuff and you have control over all your money. Do not allow her to have credit or debit cards tied to your account(s).

If this rubs her the wrong way, then it's because she's planning on using you as a cash cow. There is no rational reason to get upset over someone wanting security and not setting themselves up for exploitation.
If she doesn't understand, then I'm sure there is a much better candidate out there who does understand.

You sound like a smart, successful person with a bright future. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself from unforeseen issues. Talk to a good lawyer about your options.

The young generation is spoiled and taught to be materialistic. When I look around I see lots of girls my age who want a boyfriend with a BMW. This is a tough requirement, considering how much the economy sucks.

Okay then... What can I do to bring up me wanting her to sign a pre-nup, in an appropriate way? And if she says no, then what is the next fairest course of action?

Something with this chickie sounds a little off. Speaking as an NT female, I can tell you that a meal cooked by the boyfriend at his house with candlelight and, perhaps, some soft music in the background is generally considered extremely romantic. Now, pair that up with a "chick flick," some chocolate, either raspberries or strawberries, and a good dessert wine afterwards, and you have a fabulous combination that should have knocked her socks off. Her actions just seem manipulative and controlling to me. And giving lip service to thrift without being willing to compromise to enact it is not a good sign. Maybe you should reconsider this relationship and think of it as an extended learning experience.

Judith

Okay thanks for the input. One thing I did not mention is we haven't had a disagreement over money for a couple of months, like maybe since August.

We talked about it back then and she saw where I was coming from. So since then, she hasn't said anything or there hasn't been any potential problems.

But I wonder, if she has changed and we can move on, closer to marriage, or she is just giving me a reprieve, so I will move closer to marriage. The former could very well be the case, and I am really not sure. I am just not sure what to do. I talked to her about this, and she says that I am too hung up and how she use to be and that I have trouble forgiving. I need to forgive and move on.

But I have forgiven her. It's not about forgiveness, it's about me being afraid that if we get married, it could possibly start up again. What do you think?

Something I posted in another thread, may be relevant for you:

She sounds like a "childish" meanie which means she possibly doesn't know why her acts aren't good.

I would not consider marriage yet. You need some more time to figure out if she really has changed and if she really is the one. It seems that you have an idea of the seriousness of marriage, but it also seems that you are very hopeful and possibly a bit too optimistic about this girl.

Perhaps you feel that you have invested so much in this relationship that you don't want it to fail. But, that feeling would be even more intense if you were to marry her and realize she is not the right one. Not only that, the fall out from a destroyed marriage is even more severe. Better to lose a relationship NOW than later. Later might even involve kids.

Speaking of kids... You need to consider how she handles money and possessions and what makes her feel good, in terms of how that would affect raising kids. Would she expect to always be dressing the kids up in designer clothing and sending them to fancy private schools, etc.?

I think Boo's post above regarding the company collapse is very helpful.
Is your girlfriend is able to make something out of nothing?
Most everyone faces lean times at one point or another.
In previous generations when people got married younger, no one was established long in a job and was making a great income at the start of the marriage.
Now-a-days, it is not unreasonable to expect that unemployment or underemployment may be a way of life for a stretch of time.
You both need some skills (or be willing to learn) to get through that.
If she is too prissy to do stuff for herself, then that's going to be very hard or impossible.

Okay thanks. Well I want to talk with her about what to expect of money in the marriage. I will also ask whether or not she is okay with signing a pre-nup. However, how should I bring it up that is best way?

Well I feel bad for her situation where she cannot afford to go to the dentist and she has a really bad toothache. It keeps getting worse, and can cause irreparable damage, unless she can pay to fix it. So I offered to pay $150 of it. Later she says she was able to come into some money and she kept wanting to go out to dinner and she was going to pay her half she said. I agreed since she really wanted to, and we went out.

Later, after for paying for her dinner she got supermad, and said that her dinner was more than she thought it was going to be and that at this rate, she might as well sell herself on the street to get more money, and flipped out literally.

Not mad at me or anything, just the situation, I think. I was completely confused. She says it's okay and she wants to go out, and then she complains about it after?

Then later, she gave me a new belt she bought as thank you for paying for that portion of dental work she needs done. I got turned off at this, saying that I appreciate the gesture, but if she has no money, she should really save up, and perhaps put it towards her own needs, rather than asking me to help out, and then using that money to repay me for things should could put towards in the first place.

Is it wrong of me to be turned off, and confused at these two things?