Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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Whilst the Saudi example might be extreme it's possible for similar things to happen in any society. Which also rather makes a nonsense of looking at ratios


Marriage is primarily an economic thing. Both now and historically.
Divorce also requires marriage. AFAIK there is no sign of marriage rates falling.


A rise in 'hookup culture' is likely to make things easier for people who can do this and harder for those who can't. Even a 'meteoroic rise' in non-monogamy would still leave monogamy as the majority situation. Also 'non-monogamy' covers several different things. Someone can be uninterested in monogamy and still have difficulty fitting in with any non-monogamy within their culture.

Dickens wrote fiction, but I'm unsure there has ever been an example of a classless society. It was a claim of Communism. But soon became apparent that the USSR wasn't.

You might be lucky and ask someone who told you she's interested in you. Whilst being similarly oblivious.
IME most people tend to 'forget' that you don't understand non-verbal. (Especially if you are 'high functioning'.)

That's not so extreme. That was the situation when I was going to high school.I guess but I said classist, not classed.Oh crap! You mean when I ask a girl out, she's already told me nonverbally she dislikes me, and when I actually ask her and she gets mad, it's because she thinks I already understood her nonverbal message and she thinks I'm deliberately ignoring it when really I never noticed it in the first place? I'm so screwed [/quote]
You might be lucky and ask someone who told you she's interested in you. Whilst being similarly oblivious.
IME most people tend to 'forget' that you don't understand non-verbal. (Especially if you are 'high functioning'.)[/quote]Hooray for random chance! If I try enough times I can't lose!

This has been discussed many times, it's just simple biology and won't and can't ever change. It's foolish to think we're so evolved from animals.

1) Guys are much, much hornier than girls.

2) Guys are much, much more attracted to girls (both sexually and romantically) than vice versa.

All this doesn't mean beans once you get a girlfriend.

While all of this may be "true" in a biological sense, it doesn't mean a damn thing when it comes to finding a girlfriend. In the pursuit of a girlfriend, forget all this stuff. You have as much of a chance as all the alpha males in the world.

Not true in the sense that you don't have *as much* chance as an alpha but you still have a chance. It's just going to be a lot more difficult and you have to market yourself to right buyers which are a far more specialized niche of the market.


Jacoby is correct: It's simple biology. You cannot change this, you just have to figure out how to work around it.

I differ from this opinion, I think men and women can have strong desires equally..

Women are required to be much more subtle and dignified in their approach because society can demonize women that are sexually open or outgoing..on the other hand, men can be vindicated and praised for the same behaviour.

That's pretty messed up. Women are more valuable because they have a womb? I have to pay a higher price because I want to rent out her uterus for 9 months so I can sire an aire?

No. What if I don't want any progeny? Whenever I talk about this with a young woman, it's always the her saying she wants to have kids one day (or in some cases wants to have kids immediately) and me trying to convince the young woman of the virtues and benefits of being childfree.

So sure, maybe it takes women 9 months instead of a few minutes to have a child but, owing to their implacable maternal instinct, women actually want to have children about a million times more than I do.

I mean, sure, women use a lot of biological resources to make a child. They use 9 months of their time and millions of extra calories (note, these calories were hard to come by in ancient times but now we have an overabundance of calories anyway) but it would take me a lot of resources (time, money, lost sleep, reduced job performance) to co-parent the result of their basest instincts, namely, a child.

And don't worry about the resources the mother uses after birth in raising the child (time, energy, reduced job performance) because she's the one who wanted this. She's the one who spends the next 13 years getting an obscene enjoyment from caring for this little dependant person until it turns into a teenager and then not even she can stand it.

So don't act like I should have to convince a woman to use her biological resources (time, calories) to give me a child because she's the one who already wanted a child in the first place, not me. She's the one who actually enjoys having a child, not me. If she enjoys it, that means she's not really paying for it.

Now I've had a couple of young women who said they wanted me to give them children. I didn't want kids, they did. I felt so objectified, like they only saw me a piece of meat, a sperm donor, a walking credit card to fork out $200,000 per child.

Now I'd have to be pretty damned impressed with a woman to actually give her a child for her sake. So instead of it being me trying impress her enough to spend 9 months of her time to give me a child, it should be her trying to impress me enough to give her $200,000 of my precious money to give her a child because she's the one who actually wants it.

In prehistoric times calories were very scarce and money wasn't needed. Nowadays we have far too many calories and money is very scarce. 9 months of her time vs 20 years of my time? And don't count the 20 years of her time because she actually enjoys that part, for her those 20 years aren't they cost, they're the reward and the goal.

So why should I have to impress some young woman enough to allow me to have kids with her when I never want any damned kids? Instead she should have to impress me enough to change my mind and give up 100% of my disposable income for the next 20 years.

Ideally I could find a young woman who hates kids as much as I do (I know one but she's not not into me). Why are there so few women who don't want kids? Why do they act like they're doing me a favour by giving me a kid when it's the other way around? I even met one clucky young woman who said she was suffering because she was single and therefor unable to have children? Why are women unable to overcome their base instinct to have children?

Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 08 Nov 2015, 4:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, thank you for responding reasonably to this. I completely agree with you on the first two points, things get muddled on the third and thereafter.
Everyone else has their panties in a twist it seems.
Women have to put up with a lot of s**t from men. It's annoying and women encounter on a daily basis (usually but depends a bit on where they live) street harassment other such encounters.
It alll comes down to- women:
A.) Don't know what your intentions are/if you are violent or not
B.)Don't know if you can take 'NO' for an answer
C.) Might have been giving off- "leave me alone" signals that you didn't read and she had a bad day and was angry.
D.) She might have just been tired or had a bad day and it had nothing to do with you.

This, granted, is a risk you take when you go up to a random stranger.
When I say entitled- No women or person for that matter should be forced to give you (the general you not you personally) the time of day.
Honestly, it's like those people in mall kiosks that hock their s**t to you to buy and you don't want it and then they beg- "just stop please-no-no-no, stop come look at-"
"oh but your're so beautiful. Do you use XYZ, I have ..."
"Are you really that busy?"
"Hello what are you up to today I'm selling..."
Except instead of an infomercial on some deadsea mineral soap to help exfoliate your pores,
you're selling dick, you're a dime a dozen, and ubiquitous(i.e.: unavoidable as in not just in the mall).
and
hey, I mean at least the soap guy at the kiosk can/will be charged with a crime if he assaults you for not buying his soap after you decline- unlike POTENTIALLY any male that a female runs into a trys to "chat her up".

The cost analysis is COMPLETELY different for you (this time saying YOU in the personal sense) versus the person you're trying to engage.
FOR HER (which people like to refuse to understand and then complain on the internet instead) it's a potentially a dangerous encounter. And it always is.

This is fundamental to every single interaction a female has with a male:
you're dangerous and you're a threat. Until proven otherwise. Plain and simple.
She takes a risk just talking to you because there's no way of her knowing if you're a psycho or not.

So, What I am saying is girls may have more hits because men are more aggressive and pro-active about it but that doesn't necessarily mean that they have "an easier time" about it because in the end the risks are much higher. So, saying girls have it easier in dating or getting real dates is mildly myopic and misinformed.

(Note: this is completely culturally determined. For example, places such as Japan girls are expected to pursue men and their lots of female drama about this and this whole other girly cultural code about when to confess and try and bag a guy before 'you've lost you're chance' although once things have been initiated guy still have that traditional 'I lead' sort of role)

*****Most guys are SOOO entitled and think that just by breathing and existing they deserve to be dated.
No, no not really; it doesn't work that way.[/quote]Right. I don't have the right to dating at any point in my life. I could accept that more easily if people didn't tell me I'm a freak for not dating. If people didn't act like I have have to date.
*****
I'm sorry people tell you that you "have" to date. It's never fun to feel that kind of pressure on oneself. People aren't broken if they aren't dating. Sometimes people aren't around the right people or in the right setting where dating is a high likelihood for them.Or, maybe like with ASD there are other extenuating factors. However, I'm not saying that you "don't have a right to date" I'm saying that a lot of guys feel entitled to a woman's time and space and don't/won't/can't take a hint even after flat out being told "no". They feel entitled in a "HEY PAY ATTENTION TO ME YEAH YOU LOOK AT ME TALK TO ME" when that is annoying as f**k. So, women get angry/afraid and react the way you mentioned. Sometimes it is just a reflex. Try not to take it too personally.

Look a quote to illustrate this:
From: http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-sto ... -be-crazy/
"My biggest pet peeve is when people say women are the emotional sex. It’s not true. Men are just as emotional as women (if not more). Anger is an emotion and anyone who knows a modern male knows how irrational and non-sequitur a dude’s anger can be. This is especially true if you’ve spent any amount of time dating — the phenomena of seemingly nice men erupting with anger when you don’t go along with their advances is very real and scary."

Sometimes it really has nothing to do with you.

Just remember you shoulder almost no risk or cost of such encounters: a woman can potentially end up raped or dead or at the very least with a kid she can't support who is needy as f**k because its a child (not to mention all the societal blame that comes with that), and you end up with nothing because you just leave and continue on your merry little way. (not meant to be condescending just a stark contrast)

Wow, you're like a unicorn- ALL of the men I've ever dated talked about kids and wanted a family and blah blah blah- vomit-worthy for me, someone who does NOT want a family or to birth children. I'd prefer to do philanthropic work and donate my time and skills to others not further over-populate the world. I would only ever consider 1 child if the other partner really really reallly wanted it and only in a deadly serious sort of way. Because children involve WAAAAY too much personal sacrifice/time.

And, have you ever talked to a new mom? They don't enjoy that time- they eventually enjoy their newborn/child but usually the first couple of sleepless months are hell. Go onto any mommy-blog sort of site.
And the whole "maternal instinct" thing is BS there are a plethora of women that don't naturally have those feelings but instead cultivate it after lots of cultural instruction and societal coercion/preening. I know and agree with most of these non-maternal women.

Hey there- not on a self-righteous quest, as you seem to think I am. I'm explaining an aggravating phenomenon.
I'm not even talking about you personally I'm talking in generalities.
And, have you never heard the term "paradox" before? Maybe not!

Look, I'll say this and then be done (I posted other stuff read that if you'd like or not)
You're translation of what I said is completely out of bounds. Also, it was hardly a rant, if you would like to see something rant-length refer to my other post- that's a rant.
The degree of vitriol and condescension you read into my post is quite telling. There was none of that present and you colored it that way.
It's not about one-upsmanship or "know your place and stay in it" to think so is ridiculous, perhaps that is a uniquely male perspective I don't know, but you've completely misread the point.

Also, other than the NT v. ND/AS dichotomy I refuse to believe in a "dating caste" or would prefer to not believe in such a system.

Maybe this can be true based on this article. Read - Men's sexual engines
I quoted a part of this article which says,

"If testosterone were beer, a 9-year-old boy would be getting the equivalent of a cup a day. But a 15-year-old would be getting the equivalent of nearly two gallons a day. This fuels their sexual engines and makes it impossible for them to stop thinking about female body parts and sex."

LOL



There are a lot of guys out there who really don't want children. Especially men in their 20s...I'd say it usually changes when guys get into their 30s and beyond. But hey, most people want children and there is a lot evidence that women as a group tend to want kids more than men do. If they didn't, the human species would die out due to underbreeding. The majority of women do not need to be conditioned into becoming mothers because of duty to society. Because there was a time before civilization when humans lived in small groups and there's no evidence back in those days of cultural preening.

Just because YOU don't want kids doesn't make you a representative of what most women want. You're the exception and not the norm. Nothing wrong with that but stop assuming that everyone else who also has a uterus feels the way you do. Nobody said that motherhood is all fun and games. It's a lot of work; especially during the first 2 years of a kids life. But 100% of the women in my family who had kids, including me mum who had 3, say that they do not regret it and would do it all over again if they could. And it certainly helps when there's a father around to help raise the children or at least other women to assist. That's why I cannot for the life of me understand why so many millennial women voluntarily choose to enter single motherhood...Or at least not take active measures to avoid it.

Acknowledged. You may not have intended to come across that way but that was the effect. Then again we are aspies so using language the right way(more than proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation but choosing our words to be true to our intent)is not our strong point.