Affairs - has anybody had one??

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Thanks for the advice ZanneMarie. And yes, lying is never good. As usual I just block out what I don't feel is up to me to deal with.

I really appreciate everyone's thoughts....obviously I have not told anyone about this, so it's been good to get some feedback. Yes, I know the situation is obviously wrong, but anyway, as I say, I only deal with what I can handle dealing with

I've had a couple (all outside of marriage - but still). In both cases, it was a matter of mutual infidelity, not that I knew at the time. Thus, I've also been on the other end. What can I say? It's exciting, the whole forbidden fruit thing, but when it comes down to it, it's usually not worth the pain (though in one case it definitely was - ended up pretty well for a while). On the receiving end however, it is just awful. One has to carefully consider what they might hope to get out of it. The most likely result (if you can hide it) is shame and guilt; on another side, it might be damage and/or destruction to what you hold dear. What could you possibly hope for that is good?

Finally watched the whole Utube thing.

Funnily enough, this is not too far removed from how my partner cheated on me.

But again, I thank everyone for their comments.

first of all i cant get a date! i need to be someone else with my taste in music who can get a date!

It's hard enough just get 1 date, and much harder to get a girlfriend.

Cheating would be ridiculously difficult and destructive.

I had an absolutely rotten marriage and I had an affiar about two years or so before we divorced. My history with women was one of constant rejection and disappointment. The woman I had an affair with was a truly wonderful woman (also married) who was in a marriage as bad as mine. She made me realize that maybe I did have something to offer after all. Neither one of us really wanted to have an affair but we both needed the intimacy, both physical and mental, that we just could not get from our spouses. We both had to go our seperate ways for reasons that had nothing to do with the affair. My ex never found out about it and the woman I had an affair with is still married. My girlfriend had an affair while she was married to her first husband. She is an exceptionally attractive woman but her first husband wanted nothing to do with her physically.

I have no regrets about having an affair and it taught me to appreciate the woman in my life. We don't take each other for granted the way our former spouses did. Affairs are not always what you might think they are.