9 Guidelines For Dating With Asperger's

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LyraLuthTinu
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30 Jan 2016, 7:48 pm

LyraLuthTinu wrote:
gwenkansen wrote:
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I forget who said this, but if you’ve met one aspie, you’ve met one aspie. We’re all different. That’s the first thing to keep in mind. You shouldn’t hold yourself to neurotypical standards. But you shouldn’t define yourself by Asperger’s either. Especially not at first. If you’re calling yourself aspie89 on Tinder then you need to rethink your existence.

Don’t define yourself by Asperger’s. Because if you do, you’re going to be an empty freaking hole that no one wants to talk to. Ever.

People on the spectrum generally aren’t that approachable. It really differs for women and men though. I don’t ...


Is there supposed to be a link in the opening post? Because if there is/was, it's broken.


Thanks, Adamantium, for fixing the broken link. :)


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darkphantomx1
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01 Feb 2016, 1:06 am

yoloswag



darkphantomx1
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01 Feb 2016, 1:07 am

Brah, you should let me write the dating articles.

Considering all of the guide threads I make.

I'm the best dating guru who isn't even a dating guru.



ReubenTubbs
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06 Feb 2016, 3:45 am

Thanks for this! I am having my own relationship problems and needed this.



Lonarabaran
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09 Feb 2016, 3:02 pm

I have to disagree with your advice in trying to figure out what we have to offer in a relationship. According to what I've read and my own personal experiences I believe that most Aspies want to be liked so they work extra hard to be worthy of others and anyone who will give us time of the day. We also tend to be naive and trust others too quickly. These traits make us vulnerable. We give too much, do too much, try to please too much and most people tend to, if not take advantage of us, take us for granted and hurt us in the end.



Sweetleaf
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10 Feb 2016, 1:37 pm

Lonarabaran wrote:
I have to disagree with your advice in trying to figure out what we have to offer in a relationship. According to what I've read and my own personal experiences I believe that most Aspies want to be liked so they work extra hard to be worthy of others and anyone who will give us time of the day. We also tend to be naive and trust others too quickly. These traits make us vulnerable. We give too much, do too much, try to please too much and most people tend to, if not take advantage of us, take us for granted and hurt us in the end.


One can learn not to trust others so quickly and one can also become more aware and less naïve about things through experience though. Besides if one wants a relationship they kind of have to figure out what they have to offer in that, otherwise if you offer nothing to the relationship if you do get in one eventually you'll leave your significant other feeling neglected, like you don't care and feeling like they have to put all the effort in.

This does not mean not to use any caution though.


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cberg
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14 Feb 2016, 10:51 pm

Alyosha wrote:
'We’re kind of empty.'

speak for yourself.

overall i found this article a pretty offensive read.


Substantive feelings may be somewhat alienating for us but I'm not about to ignore them. It's good to love someone, unequivocally. I'm torn about why you're guilt-tripping us in this way too. I've worked nonstop for years to give back to people I love. I can say with absolute confidence that the work I do every day feeds into everyone keeping their basic rights to expression & information on the Internet intact. There's no reason to call me divisive just because I'm a guy, plainly OP has theory of mind problems regarding the Internet. Building new resources & tools for billions of users has not once ever left me feeling empty.

Now every time I walk into a meeting with anybody who understands maxiofacial expressions, I have your ilk to thank for their erroneous preconceptions of 'creepiness'. I'm dead center in the target demography here, this exact rhetoric is why I'm taking the year off work to be more available. This stigma is absolutely wrecking my research & work prospects, the hell with that, I'll remain soft-spoken. Why did Alex publish misandrist tabloid fodder?


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missy72744
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15 Feb 2016, 7:15 am

now is that from a nero to aspie relationship view or aspie to aspie just curious



Marcella P.
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17 Feb 2016, 12:16 am

How do you think about me doing a culture project about my family's attempt to assimilate in the autistic culture; where I would be talking to my class. I feel like autism is a culture, not a disability. Although I am still assimilating, I feel like this information could be helpful to my classmates.



missy72744
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17 Feb 2016, 4:39 am

I think autism is a step in evolution towards the future where human can progress without putting emotions into becoming smarter speices



DrewLewis
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19 Feb 2016, 7:09 am

The information you provide seems helpful. I'll try my best to keep it in mind. I have the hardest trouble trying to impress women and understanding what they want in a guy in terms of being their boyfriend/husband.



Karen145
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22 Feb 2016, 6:52 pm

Great article. Wish I'd known this stuff when I was dating.


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ThomasL2
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02 Mar 2016, 2:27 pm

androbot01 wrote:
I am still a little frustrated by the white male dominance on the home page.


OMG...



androbot01
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02 Mar 2016, 2:31 pm

ThomasL2 wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
I am still a little frustrated by the white male dominance on the home page.


OMG...

Oh don't get me started. I see now there are two doting females on the home page. :roll:



ThomasL2
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04 Mar 2016, 8:53 pm

androbot01 wrote:
ThomasL2 wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
I am still a little frustrated by the white male dominance on the home page.


OMG...

Oh don't get me started. I see now there are two doting females on the home page. :roll:


No idea what you're talking about.



androbot01
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04 Mar 2016, 9:38 pm

ThomasL2 wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
ThomasL2 wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
I am still a little frustrated by the white male dominance on the home page.


OMG...

Oh don't get me started. I see now there are two doting females on the home page. :roll:


No idea what you're talking about.


wth, I'll bite,

Currently on the home page we have Alex supporting brain tissue donation - no problem there.

Then we have Jack Robinson whose chemistry experiment ran him afoul of the law and who is now doing something with internet technology, which I don't really understand, but again - no problem there.

Then there are the 9 Guidelines which are the topic of this thread and offer a number of banal suggestions for dating which could appear in any froth publication - no problem, except for the picture. The doe like adoration of her glance at a man whose face we can't see - heartwarming, not. This by itself is not that annoying, but coupled with ...

...the final entry, Asperger's in Love, becomes irritating. Again it is not the content of the thread that's problematic. Rather, the opposite. The documentary and her review are great for the autistic community. But what's the picture? Another doting woman, this time reaching out with love to a man. At least we can see him this time.

You may see the above as petty, but I view it as quite significant that the only depictions of women at this time on the homepage appear in relation to romance. It's not just the autistic men in Love & Dating, who often seem to think that finding a woman for a relationship will be a cure to all that is wrong with them, but society, as well, too often writes women off as sexual/emotional support and nothing more.

Surely, there must be some autistic women out there who can contribute more than this. I'd stand up, but the best I can offer is a guide to joint rolling. And Temple Grandin's been done to death.

So is there no autistic female who is remarkable for being more than just a woman in love?

Anyway, you asked.