Why do women do this?
Jamesy
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Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,458
Location: Near London United Kingdom
Yes, that's a glance. If I see any sight that catches my attention I find myself returning for a second or third glance. I think that's pretty much how humans work.
And, again, a glance. Momentary. Brief. Not to be confused with staring for, as you put it, 'too long'.
That last line is so much BS.
People in general don't like people staring at them. Women in particular have good reason to be concerned about men in particular staring at them.
The analogy doesn't quite work, but still: I like dogs. I get worried if a dog just stares and stares at me.
Jamesy, seriously - do not stare at people. It is unpleasant for the person being stared at, and you're likely to get yourself into trouble.
I have seen some women scowl at me and look angry even if I glance at them.
Yes, that's a glance. If I see any sight that catches my attention I find myself returning for a second or third glance. I think that's pretty much how humans work.
And, again, a glance. Momentary. Brief. Not to be confused with staring for, as you put it, 'too long'.
That last line is so much BS.
People in general don't like people staring at them. Women in particular have good reason to be concerned about men in particular staring at them.
The analogy doesn't quite work, but still: I like dogs. I get worried if a dog just stares and stares at me.
Jamesy, seriously - do not stare at people. It is unpleasant for the person being stared at, and you're likely to get yourself into trouble.
I have seen some women scowl at me and look angry even if I glance at them.
Not knowing what your glance looks like, nor anything about these women, nor the context it happened under, there's not much to say to that.
Could be some find your 'glance' concerning. Could be bad timing. Could be these particular women were unfriendly.
_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.
You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.
Jamesy
Veteran

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,458
Location: Near London United Kingdom
Yes, that's a glance. If I see any sight that catches my attention I find myself returning for a second or third glance. I think that's pretty much how humans work.
And, again, a glance. Momentary. Brief. Not to be confused with staring for, as you put it, 'too long'.
That last line is so much BS.
People in general don't like people staring at them. Women in particular have good reason to be concerned about men in particular staring at them.
The analogy doesn't quite work, but still: I like dogs. I get worried if a dog just stares and stares at me.
Jamesy, seriously - do not stare at people. It is unpleasant for the person being stared at, and you're likely to get yourself into trouble.
I have seen some women scowl at me and look angry even if I glance at them.
Not knowing what your glance looks like, nor anything about these women, nor the context it happened under, there's not much to say to that.
Could be some find your 'glance' concerning. Could be bad timing. Could be these particular women were unfriendly.
Maybe I scowl when I glance?
Yeah, could be. Could be something in your body language or facial expression that you're not aware of.
_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.
You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.
Jamesy
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Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,458
Location: Near London United Kingdom
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,803
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
I even get uncomfortable when I notice my girlfriend staring at me.
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Oh boy. I think the OP gets the point that he shouldn't be staring at women for a long time. Glancing is fine. Don't Aspies sometimes have a problem with staring, like they don't know that they're doing it?
I actually have the staring problem myself sometimes and it's when I'm really tired usually after working or not getting much sleep. What I end up doing is telling whoever I'm with that if I'm staring at them it is just because I'm really tired. The thing is I'm not really staring at the person, I'm looking through them and trying to sleep with my eyes open.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
Was that the one that was running you down saying a bunch of crap?
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
When I read that, that freaked me out! He's lucky that you didn't have a gun, but he probably would have upped you one by having a bomb strapped to his waist and you both would have went KABOOM!

_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
Jamesy
Veteran

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,458
Location: Near London United Kingdom
I can relate to Jamesy.
I understand and most definitely believe staring or constant looking is just very rude and very wrong.
However, sometimes even a quick little glance some react with a 'How dare you even THINK you have a chance with ME?' death-stare that I'm sure me, Jamesy and Sly have all gotten plenty of times before.
And to those that say 'maybe you're looking at someone in a way that people find uncomfortable' well just how are you supposed to look at someone (a quick glance) without making them uncomfortable?
Neutral expressions come across as cold, creepy and sociopathic, smiling comes across as creepy unless it's mutual, a räpey smile is the worst possible face obviously.
Body language also doesn't really influence it that much, I don't think. Slouching and having your chin down makes you look creepy, having your chin up and chest out a bit confidently just might make her more afraid and think of you as one of those 'dominant' males.
And to be honest getting looks also flatters me. Even if her face is neutral and gloomy and not particularly happy looking. Even if she looks a little too long.
Also, this has made me think of a curious question.
If I were to look at a female the way I am in my profile picture quickly, how do you think they'd react? Women here, if you were my age, or if I was your age and someone did this, how would you react? Let's say I am wearing the exact same clothes. Is it 'creepy'?
androbot01
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Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
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