Is there hope or should I just give up?

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sly279
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01 Feb 2016, 1:31 am

There's no hope for me but maybe there is for you.



Marknis
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01 Feb 2016, 10:46 am

sly279 wrote:
There's no hope for me but maybe there is for you.


What makes you say that?



Kuraudo777
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01 Feb 2016, 11:58 am

There's hope for everyone! Here, have a kitty: Image


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Marknis
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01 Feb 2016, 7:35 pm

Some have told me I need to see the bigger picture when it comes to dating but they never explained it to me and I couldn't find an explanation on Google or anywhere else. Can someone help me out with that?

Kuraudo777 wrote:
There's hope for everyone! Here, have a kitty: Image


Can I take them all? :oops:



AJisHere
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01 Feb 2016, 9:04 pm

Marknis wrote:
Some have told me I need to see the bigger picture when it comes to dating but they never explained it to me and I couldn't find an explanation on Google or anywhere else. Can someone help me out with that?


My own thoughts on that:

Having a significant other is nice, but there are a lot of other important things in life. You need to keep those in mind too and focus on the ones that are achievable right now. You also need to consider what you do have already!

Anyway, it sounds like you're not in a good environment right now. Maybe you should make getting out of there your goal. What's in the way of doing this, exactly?


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Marknis
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02 Feb 2016, 12:20 am

AJisHere wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Some have told me I need to see the bigger picture when it comes to dating but they never explained it to me and I couldn't find an explanation on Google or anywhere else. Can someone help me out with that?


My own thoughts on that:

Having a significant other is nice, but there are a lot of other important things in life. You need to keep those in mind too and focus on the ones that are achievable right now. You also need to consider what you do have already!

Anyway, it sounds like you're not in a good environment right now. Maybe you should make getting out of there your goal. What's in the way of doing this, exactly?


I'm lacking in finances, I don't have a degree for a better job nor do I have any job training, and my parents are overprotective even though I am 27.



sly279
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02 Feb 2016, 2:08 am

Marknis wrote:
sly279 wrote:
There's no hope for me but maybe there is for you.


What makes you say that?

I have too many huge negatives.
Like debt and no good paying job. The debt will take 20-50 years to be gone. It doesn't matter. Nothing does.
Thanks people of wp for making me realize how truly hopeless it is.



Kuraudo777
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02 Feb 2016, 8:22 pm

^Hope is good, because without it everyone would just give up. Hope, to me, seems much better than the alternative, so I keep going.


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A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? That's why sometimes it can be mistaken and a different thing. But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel.” Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


Derek281
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02 Feb 2016, 10:21 pm

I am a happy strip club VIP.

I never met the one but married a Trophy wife when young. I learned about AS not long ago and it explains many things.

Perhaps a move to a large city like LA and u could get on sone dating site like Harmony. Your still young and know what your up against. When I was young never had a clue.....

I would keep the AS thing private and not discuss w dates. Women seek men who are confident and successful - project that (or learn to emulate)and things should improve.



cberg
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02 Feb 2016, 10:38 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Also keep in mind a lot of people have financial struggles, overbearing parents or other family issues and still can get relationships. I mean at times I've made the mistake of thinking adults must have it all together, free of any parent drama/issues but that's not true at all a lot of peoples parents still try to interfere a lot even after you grow up.


THIS. My dad's been trying to wrestle my entire I.T. business & tool set from me for years now. There's no real point trying to fight it, instead I've just asked to be paid whatever he owes for outstanding demands, equipment expenses & the like. Parents can be so irrationally burdensome that they'll actually steal to protect their powers of influence - sometimes there's nothing for it but to walk away & make them think in the process.


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AJisHere
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03 Feb 2016, 12:12 am

Marknis wrote:
I'm lacking in finances, I don't have a degree for a better job nor do I have any job training, and my parents are overprotective even though I am 27.


None of these are insurmountable problems. That's the important thing to remember. They are not small problems and may in fact seem huge, but they can be solved.

It sounds like you are currently employed, so you can start saving your money and looking at what you'd need to move somewhere else. Put together a budget and stick to it, setting aside what you can with each paycheck. If you work for a company that has locations elsewhere, you may be able to transfer there (you still in Texas? Check out Austin... quirky, weird place... probably a lot more autism-friendly). Yes, parents can be overprotective... but you're your own man and if you can put yourself in a position where you do not require their help they can't stop you from doing what you wish.

I'm making it sound easy. It very likely isn't, but don't trick yourself into thinking this is impossible. If you can't get what you need where you are now, it may be a good option.


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ProbablyOverthinkingThisUsername
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04 Feb 2016, 12:54 am

I'll just leave this here...



Marknis
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07 Feb 2016, 2:44 pm

AJisHere wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I'm lacking in finances, I don't have a degree for a better job nor do I have any job training, and my parents are overprotective even though I am 27.


None of these are insurmountable problems. That's the important thing to remember. They are not small problems and may in fact seem huge, but they can be solved.

It sounds like you are currently employed, so you can start saving your money and looking at what you'd need to move somewhere else. Put together a budget and stick to it, setting aside what you can with each paycheck. If you work for a company that has locations elsewhere, you may be able to transfer there (you still in Texas? Check out Austin... quirky, weird place... probably a lot more autism-friendly). Yes, parents can be overprotective... but you're your own man and if you can put yourself in a position where you do not require their help they can't stop you from doing what you wish.

I'm making it sound easy. It very likely isn't, but don't trick yourself into thinking this is impossible. If you can't get what you need where you are now, it may be a good option.


Oh, I love Austin. If I could choose any place on the planet to live, it would be there.

When my depression was really kicking in was also when I first learned about AS. Unfortunately, it didn't help much. I read so many stories from guys older than me who said they still didn't have a girlfriend and were still isolated from society. With each passing year, those fears seem to become truer. I sometimes get scared there are no single girls left because I've fallen behind so far.



AJisHere
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08 Feb 2016, 11:08 pm

Marknis wrote:
When my depression was really kicking in was also when I first learned about AS. Unfortunately, it didn't help much. I read so many stories from guys older than me who said they still didn't have a girlfriend and were still isolated from society. With each passing year, those fears seem to become truer. I sometimes get scared there are no single girls left because I've fallen behind so far.


How can you have fallen behind? You're on nobody's clock but your own. It's really important to realize these things. Your ability to get into a relationship does not have a shelf life. When you are ready for it, people will be there.


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TheSpectrum
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08 Feb 2016, 11:18 pm

What AJ said.
And if you see this as an uphill battle, remember that losing a battle isn't the same as losing the war.
You haven't met a compatible person is what I believe to be the problem. I had the same circumstances if not worse and did not have trouble with girlfriends at that time (mid 20's). There are countless people in the world with even less than us who still pair off.

It may well be the kind of women you are looking for wouldn't settle for a man living the life that you lead. That doesn't make you a loser, or them entitled in any way. However, find someone on a level playing field and they'll no doubt appreciate you and in turn you'll appreciate them.


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11 Feb 2016, 6:46 am

There is always hope, hope never dies!


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