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Getting a Boyfriend is HARD!!

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Aristophanes
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27 Feb 2016, 6:17 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Seriously, keep the "men have it harder" crap off this thread.

Women are allowed to discuss their issues with dating without them being immediately invalidated and dismissed by male members.

Not to hijack, but my opinion is if someone makes a post about a personal issue, it should stay focused on the personal issue. If someone makes a thread about "gender stereotype 1 is worse than gender stereotype 2" then that's a philosophical question and pretty much anything goes. Fact is when people are hurting having a debate is just plain not helpful to that person-- it's a concept that goes beyond just gender.


@Kitty, what's the status update on you and Jeff? Last I heard you mentioned you weren't sure what he wanted. There's always just asking him too: "Where do you see this going?" I wish I could help you with the extreme shyness (that's what I'm calling it), but I've never had experience, so all I'll say is he's nervous too. Yep, he's nervous, even the most masculine beefcake men who show absolutely no emotion get nervous around a potential partner, that's part of the excitement. So realize, even though you seem to have problems communicating with him, he's nervous as well-- when you realize and accept that it'll be easier for you to communicate because you can empathize in the situation, you're sharing it together after all.



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27 Feb 2016, 6:46 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
No offense darkphantomx1, I'm listening to rdos, he's older & have more experience, sorry.


You have to admire such logic.


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Kitty4670
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27 Feb 2016, 9:53 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Seriously, keep the "men have it harder" crap off this thread.

Women are allowed to discuss their issues with dating without them being immediately invalidated and dismissed by male members.

Not to hijack, but my opinion is if someone makes a post about a personal issue, it should stay focused on the personal issue. If someone makes a thread about "gender stereotype 1 is worse than gender stereotype 2" then that's a philosophical question and pretty much anything goes. Fact is when people are hurting having a debate is just plain not helpful to that person-- it's a concept that goes beyond just gender.


@Kitty, what's the status update on you and Jeff? Last I heard you mentioned you weren't sure what he wanted. There's always just asking him too: "Where do you see this going?" I wish I could help you with the extreme shyness (that's what I'm calling it), but I've never had experience, so all I'll say is he's nervous too. Yep, he's nervous, even the most masculine beefcake men who show absolutely no emotion get nervous around a potential partner, that's part of the excitement. So realize, even though you seem to have problems communicating with him, he's nervous as well-- when you realize and accept that it'll be easier for you to communicate because you can empathize in the situation, you're sharing it together after all.


Thanks for asking. It's not going good. At the coffee house where he works, he was talking So Much to customers, but not me, I thought something was wrong with me, I felt invisible. He was even talking to a woman at the counter, it was more of a conversation. People on the forum said he was shy too, he did talk to me a little bit, maybe he talked to me when I wasn't at the coffee house for a couple days or more & he missed me, I went there everyday. The coffee house is being remodeled for a month now, I been running into him 4 times, the 4th time, I saw him 3 times in 1 days, I was at an ice cream shop & I saw him walking by, I went outside to eat my ice cream & hoping to see him again, he walked by again, he saw me & I put my head down, he said my name, I think he did then he walked away, he may thought I was ignoring him. Someone said write him a note. I'm worried that he lost interested in me, it been a month without seeing each other everyday.



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27 Feb 2016, 9:58 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
Aristophanes wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Seriously, keep the "men have it harder" crap off this thread.

Women are allowed to discuss their issues with dating without them being immediately invalidated and dismissed by male members.

Not to hijack, but my opinion is if someone makes a post about a personal issue, it should stay focused on the personal issue. If someone makes a thread about "gender stereotype 1 is worse than gender stereotype 2" then that's a philosophical question and pretty much anything goes. Fact is when people are hurting having a debate is just plain not helpful to that person-- it's a concept that goes beyond just gender.


@Kitty, what's the status update on you and Jeff? Last I heard you mentioned you weren't sure what he wanted. There's always just asking him too: "Where do you see this going?" I wish I could help you with the extreme shyness (that's what I'm calling it), but I've never had experience, so all I'll say is he's nervous too. Yep, he's nervous, even the most masculine beefcake men who show absolutely no emotion get nervous around a potential partner, that's part of the excitement. So realize, even though you seem to have problems communicating with him, he's nervous as well-- when you realize and accept that it'll be easier for you to communicate because you can empathize in the situation, you're sharing it together after all.


Thanks for asking. It's not going good. At the coffee house where he works, he was talking So Much to customers, but not me, I thought something was wrong with me, I felt invisible. He was even talking to a woman at the counter, it was more of a conversation. People on the forum said he was shy too, he did talk to me a little bit, maybe he talked to me when I wasn't at the coffee house for a couple days or more & he missed me, I went there everyday. The coffee house is being remodeled for a month now, I been running into him 4 times, the 4th time, I saw him 3 times in 1 days, I was at an ice cream shop & I saw him walking by, I went outside to eat my ice cream & hoping to see him again, he walked by again, he saw me & I put my head down, he said my name, I think he did then he walked away, he may thought I was ignoring him. Someone said write him a note. I'm worried that he lost interested in me, it been a month without seeing each other everyday.
Even if he lost interest, he might become reinterested 1ce he knows your interested in him.


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Kitty4670
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28 Feb 2016, 1:05 am

nick007 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Aristophanes wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Seriously, keep the "men have it harder" crap off this thread.

Women are allowed to discuss their issues with dating without them being immediately invalidated and dismissed by male members.

Not to hijack, but my opinion is if someone makes a post about a personal issue, it should stay focused on the personal issue. If someone makes a thread about "gender stereotype 1 is worse than gender stereotype 2" then that's a philosophical question and pretty much anything goes. Fact is when people are hurting having a debate is just plain not helpful to that person-- it's a concept that goes beyond just gender.


@Kitty, what's the status update on you and Jeff? Last I heard you mentioned you weren't sure what he wanted. There's always just asking him too: "Where do you see this going?" I wish I could help you with the extreme shyness (that's what I'm calling it), but I've never had experience, so all I'll say is he's nervous too. Yep, he's nervous, even the most masculine beefcake men who show absolutely no emotion get nervous around a potential partner, that's part of the excitement. So realize, even though you seem to have problems communicating with him, he's nervous as well-- when you realize and accept that it'll be easier for you to communicate because you can empathize in the situation, you're sharing it together after all.


Thanks for asking. It's not going good. At the coffee house where he works, he was talking So Much to customers, but not me, I thought something was wrong with me, I felt invisible. He was even talking to a woman at the counter, it was more of a conversation. People on the forum said he was shy too, he did talk to me a little bit, maybe he talked to me when I wasn't at the coffee house for a couple days or more & he missed me, I went there everyday. The coffee house is being remodeled for a month now, I been running into him 4 times, the 4th time, I saw him 3 times in 1 days, I was at an ice cream shop & I saw him walking by, I went outside to eat my ice cream & hoping to see him again, he walked by again, he saw me & I put my head down, he said my name, I think he did then he walked away, he may thought I was ignoring him. Someone said write him a note. I'm worried that he lost interested in me, it been a month without seeing each other everyday.
Even if he lost interest, he might become reinterested 1ce he knows your interested in him.


Haven't seen you in awhile nick007. I hope you right, I think he knows, we been looking at each other at the coffee house :D :P



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28 Feb 2016, 6:15 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
Getting a Boyfriend is HARD!

You're preaching to the choir sister.

As a bisexual man, I find it very difficult to form a lovers relationship with a straight man. Currently I'm only in a relationship with three straight men, which if you've read some of my other posts on the subject of dating, should speak volumes of just how difficult it is.

I mean I don't want to be that guy that makes comparisons, but from my POV women have a significantly easier time hooking up with straight men than we bisexuals ever will. I really want to state my opinion on this subject as fact, but at the same time, I really don't want to get banned by the Moderator that thinks this is crap, so I'll just leave this IMHO tag here instead... :|

Kitty4670 wrote:
I still don't know what Jeff wants from me, does he want to date me, be my boyfriend without dating or be friends?


I vaguely remember a past discussion involving Jeff, and I vaguely remember a lot of us suggested that you talk to him / confess your undying love. Two more suggestions then. Invest in some Dutch courage and/or type/write him a love letter, and then give him it. :|


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28 Feb 2016, 6:29 am

Idealist wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Getting a Boyfriend is HARD!

You're preaching to the choir sister.

As a bisexual man, I find it very difficult to form a lovers relationship with a straight man. Currently I'm only in a relationship with three straight men, which if you've read some of my other posts on the subject of dating, should speak volumes of just how difficult it is.

I mean I don't want to be that guy that makes comparisons, but from my POV women have a significantly easier time hooking up with straight men than we bisexuals ever will.

Oh, are you a woman?
Edit: Oh you said man. But how can they be straight if they're in a relationship with a man?



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28 Feb 2016, 6:33 am

She isn't saying that getting a boyfriend is hard for ALL women. Stop preaching her about it.


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28 Feb 2016, 6:55 am

Peacesells wrote:
Oh, are you a woman?

Image
Peacesells wrote:
Oh you said man. But how can they be straight if they're in a relationship with a man?

How indeed.

I don't of know of anyone who questions the validity of heterosexuality or homosexuality more than I do, but I do know that it's best not to discuss it on a Forum, unless you want to see the flames of war burn high into the night sky.


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28 Feb 2016, 8:13 am

Idealist wrote:
How indeed.

I don't of know of anyone who questions the validity of heterosexuality or homosexuality more than I do, but I do know that it's best not to discuss it on a Forum, unless you want to see the flames of war burn high into the night sky.

Ok, then they are not heterosexual.



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28 Feb 2016, 8:33 am

Peacesells wrote:
Idealist wrote:
How indeed.

I don't of know of anyone who questions the validity of heterosexuality or homosexuality more than I do, but I do know that it's best not to discuss it on a Forum, unless you want to see the flames of war burn high into the night sky.

Ok, then they are not heterosexual.

Indeed.

And yet no matter how many straight men I've slept with, each and everyone of them still claims to be heterosexual, some even have girlfriends, while others are married with children.

I've had similar encounters with Lesbians, I slept (had sex) with them, and right after it they continued to call themselves Lesbians. 8O


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28 Feb 2016, 8:40 am

I knew a lesbian who claimed to enjoy giving blowjobs to her guy friends, in fact almost every lesbian I knew closely claimed she dated and had sex with guys before.

But all this is ridiculous and makes no sense to me.

Those are all Bi in denial, the dictionnairy is clear about the meaning of heterosexual.



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28 Feb 2016, 8:51 am

Hi Kitty.

I hope you talk to Jeff soon...or hand him a note. Just say that you would enjoy it if you both would got together. Put your email address on the note.

A full letter is not a good idea.

Make sure it is in your best handwriting.



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28 Feb 2016, 8:53 am

Idealist wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Idealist wrote:
How indeed.

I don't of know of anyone who questions the validity of heterosexuality or homosexuality more than I do, but I do know that it's best not to discuss it on a Forum, unless you want to see the flames of war burn high into the night sky.

Ok, then they are not heterosexual.

Indeed.

And yet no matter how many straight men I've slept with, each and everyone of them still claims to be heterosexual, some even have girlfriends, while others are married with children.

I've had similar encounters with Lesbians, I slept (had sex) with them, and right after it they continued to call themselves Lesbians. 8O

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I knew a lesbian who claimed to enjoy giving blowjobs to her guy friends, in fact almost every lesbian I knew closely claimed she dated and had sex with guys before.

But all this is ridiculous and makes no sense to me.

Those are all Bi in denial, the dictionnairy is clear about the meaning of heterosexual.

Indeed. The world is going nuts.



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28 Feb 2016, 8:54 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Hi Kitty.

I hope you talk to Jeff soon...or hand him a note. Just say that you would enjoy it if you both would got together. Put your email address on the note.

A full letter is not a good idea.

Make sure it is in your best handwriting.


I know you've already posted your advice, but thank you for posting again, and getting the Thread back on track.


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kraftiekortie
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28 Feb 2016, 8:56 am

Kitty, please come back to this thread...I want to hear that you and Jeff went to the movies.