Is it unfair of me to ask my gf for a prenup in this case?

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This is basically an issue of relationship inequality, relationships can often be complicated where there is an inequality. For example if one is much more attractive than the other, the lesser attractive may feel insecure and worried their partner will leave them for someone else. In the OP's instance it is the more-common inequality of finance. As with the case of the lesser-attractive feeling insecure and threatened, here your lesser-asseted partner is feeling threatened by your making this inequality explicit. Getting back to the looks analogy it would be like you introducing her to your friends as "Here is my partner, she is much less attractive than I am".

A lot of her rage probably comes from this insecurity and she is dressing it up as something else, that you don't trust her or whatever. She probably does feel some genuine hurt too that maybe you don't trust her, or you see this as a relationship that is probably going to fail so you're protecting yourself just in case. Or maybe she *is* thinking about herself, thinking that if the marriage fails she'll at least get something from it.

So you have all of those emotions....but you also want to be practical and protect yourself too and those two things really are at odds. Looking at it practically, you must know lots of people (maybe even yourself in past relationships) that have been in a relationship they were sure would last forever, but didn't. And there is a very real chance you could be severely disadvantaged if things do go wrong and end up bitter. Again I'm sure you know lots of people that has happened to.

There is no magic solution to these things, I'd definitely give her some time to see if she calms about it and come around to the idea more after the initial shock. It does seem like she is demanding everything be done on her terms though and is blackmailing you to get it. She demands no pre-nup but I bet in a divorce she'll demand half your money too. Shouldn't there be some compromise? Also if she thinks ultimatums are the way to run a relationship maybe you should see how she feels about being the subject of them herself? Tell her that unless she gets a steady job and career you're not going to marry her. I bet she'll have plenty to say about that, I bet she loves to give ultimatums but not be subject to them herself. Also I bet if it was her with the greater finances she'd want a pre-nup and would tell you to be a man and stop complaining about it.

Then there is the elephant in the room no-one is talking about....she is reading your emails, snooping, invading your privacy. Maybe she is threatened by this pre-nup as she is projecting her own lack of trust onto you?

This is a tough one, so good luck, but I think letting things settle for a while is probably the best thing right now.

It seems to me that you have a huge obstacle in the road and do you think that maybe pre-marital therapy with an experienced psychologist might help? I don't know how you can marry with a huge thing between you. It seems to me you have to stop and clear the road. Maybe with professional help.

As a female who is currently in a relationship with similarly unequal finances, I told my husband I would sign one before we got married (about six months ago). He refused.

It's unfortunate that your gf was so upset by her discovery.
I suspect in her position, I would have been upset as well - but due to perceived dishonesty on your part.
On the flip side, I research everything before I talk about it with myself, much less with someone else.
In your position, I would have done what you did.

If her position is actually that you want one because you are anticipating divorce, she's adopted a stance based on an error of logic... which generally indicates an actual basis in emotion.
Offer to go to counseling. Any reasonably skilled counselor should address the emotional issues there, and help separate them from the legal issue.

If you feel this concession would be worth it, see about having your lawyer write in a financial settlement for her in case of divorce that scales with dependents based on parental duty allocation. I don't know about Canadian courts, but US courts pretty generally agree that a spouse who has been primarily caretaker of the home/other spouse/children should get a financial settlement of some kind until she/he can develop job skills and enter the labor market. However, even if it is the legal standard in your part of the world, having an agreement in black and white might make her feel more comfortable.

You were not in the wrong nor unfair to her.
You should apologize for the injury to her feelings and ask her for criteria that define what you should be talking about with her - I think those are always good practice in a long term relationship when the other person's feelings are hurt. It's an "empathetic" apology and clarification for the future.

Don't feel obligated to back down.
There is nothing in a prenup that makes a couple more likely to get divorced, and nothing in not having one that gives additional security in a relationship. Besides, you being forced to set aside your principles and desires to make a wedding happen will also have a negative effect.

I wish you the best.