When people just like attention

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rdos
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06 Jun 2016, 2:56 am

hurtloam wrote:

Yes, I know that's just some people being friendly and sociable. Normally I can work out who those people are. It's usually married men and it annoys me a bit, but doesn't affect me too much because I'm not interested. I don't flirt back because I'm not interested. Single men rarely flirt with me. I must be intimidating.

I think married men can flirt more shamelessly because it doesn't mean so much to them, while if they are single, then it will get more serious. So the reason it's mostly married men that are flirting with you is because they don't take it seriously. It's just a game for them.

hurtloam wrote:

This current guy didn't used to talk to me much, we were just acquaintances with mutual friends, but something changed, I don't know what, and he became more flirtatious with me. It was that change that made me think maybe he liked me.

I wasn't that interested, but spending more time with him made me realise I actually like him as a person and enjoy talking to him. So I made more effort to talk to him an invite him along to things, but then I started freaking out. What if I'm being stupid and he's just flirting and it means nothing and i've developed feelings for him?

We aren't dating, I really wouldn't call it that. Just meeting up with friends every few weeks or so. Never anything on our own
Sometimes we organise it, sometimes our friends do. There's no consistency.

First, is he single? I suppose he must be, because otherwise you wouldn't mention it.
Second, is he ND or NT? If he is NT, it's quite likely nothing serious, as then he would take it further.
Third, is he shy? Again, if he isn't shy, then he should have taken it further.

If he is single, ND and shy, then I think he is interested in you, otherwise he is more likely just playing with you.

Caesar
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06 Jun 2016, 7:28 am

Attention is weird, back in high school pretty much every kid in class would online talk to me during class at a volume as if they were announcing something towards the entire class.

They would get so angry when people started responding to them and tell them that they weren't talking to them.
At some point I just responded with "Why do you only talk to me when the whole class is around?" and later that day one of my friends just randomly vented to me about how he was done with the whole class and just wanted to graduate, pretty cool that he came to me for that. He is a really nice guy to talk to!

Ichinin
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06 Jun 2016, 7:57 am

I try to identify girls like that early, i ask frankly if they are serious and interested in a relationship. Then i ask about if they recently had a separation or such, if the answer makes me suspicious = bye bye.

Internet dating should not be about making someone feeling better, either you are ready for a relationship or GTFO.

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hurtloam
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06 Jun 2016, 9:08 am

rdos wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

Yes! You understand completely. Not sure if Nd or NT. I'm erring toward NT. I just want this to stop now.

rdos
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06 Jun 2016, 11:01 am

hurtloam wrote:

Yes! You understand completely. Not sure if Nd or NT. I'm erring toward NT. I just want this to stop now.

You should try to see if he is willing to put more effort into it, like meeting you at a different place or something. If he is not, then he probably is not serious. But you need to give him a fair possibility to do so.

hurtloam
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06 Jun 2016, 4:48 pm

Oh! That's not where I was expecting our conversation to go. Ha ha, I was looking for justification that now is the time to move on.

OK, I will give him another chance. I'll need to think of something to invite him to go with me to.

Last edited by hurtloam on 06 Jun 2016, 4:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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06 Jun 2016, 4:49 pm

Ask him if he likes bowling.

hurtloam
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06 Jun 2016, 4:56 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Ask him if he likes bowling.

I knew you were going to say that! I almost wrote, "kraftiekortie would suggest bowling"

kraftiekortie
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06 Jun 2016, 5:04 pm

I honestly think it's a good date.

You don't have to have "deep" conversations. Just play the game.

If he's into bowling (no, this doesn't just happen in the movies LOL), he might even position you "correctly." That's what people who are good at bowling do. They "position" people.

hurtloam
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06 Jun 2016, 5:06 pm

I would rather take advantage of the fact that it's summer and do something outdoorsy while the weather is good.

kraftiekortie
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06 Jun 2016, 5:10 pm

I guess watching cricket might be a nice date, then.