Re joined dating websites

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I married a religious woman and none of these were obstacles. She believes in all those things despite the Church's official stances (*gasp* not every person agrees 100% with their creed) and let's just say we already had plenty of practice before knot was tied. The only two things I had to agree to were strict monogamy and lifetime commitment. Not exactly things I didn't want myself.

And you still married to her? What are the obstacles anyways?

Yes, and it was a no brainer. There are small obstacles like any relationship but in terms of religion the only thing I had to agree with is to allow her to baptize our future child and teach them about her religion. Its not exactly a whacko religion so I have no issue with it. Its really not that big of a deal: even the Priest didnt think it was an issue.

For what its worth, one of the best marriages I witnessed was between a Christian and a Muslim. Other than Christmas, it was a non issue.

My cousin is a Christian and he married to a Muslim. They have two great boys.

So it been over a week since I joined Okcupid and PoF. Still not being paid attention enough. Lack of messages, including the religious ones. I have no idea how effective to find a relationship/partner/life long partner from the dating websites. This is because I know thousands of guys kept messaging them, while mine is being embedded to become missed hit. I feel this is a little unfair. I am quite late bloomer in many areas especially dating and that. I feel a little under stress because of my age. So many women already had sex before my age concluding from their profiles on dating websites. Only those who are still a virgin is religious ones.

I feel supressed of being a non religious virgin by innocence on dating websites. I think its a massive turn off for many women seeing I am inexperienced at everything especially for my age. Why can't women understand a little more about life doesn't matter? I though women over 25 is becoming more mature and settled properly?

You aren't being paid enough attention by the women of OKC and POF?!

You aren't entitled to attention from anyone.

Also, why on earth would you think a girl's faith should, hell, would translate into attention for you?



Why do you think you're better than the other guys on dating sites?

Why is it unfair girls are responding to other guys but not you?

Isn't it possible that other guys profiles are more appealing or messages compelling than yours?



Unless your profile says you're a virgin, the girls you message have no way of knowing that.

You feeling stress about your virginity isn't something that can be determined from your profile. Ergo, it's not something the girls of OKC and POF are rejecting you on the basis of.

Judgmental on adult women who aren't virgins much? If you only want to date virgins, that's your prerogative... and likely translates into you (1) auto-rejecting the vast majority of your female peers and (2) are effectively limiting your dates to the uber-religious, no-sex-before-marriage girls.



There's a quick, easy solution - rewrite your profile. Girls cannot know that stuff unless you include it in your profile. CANNOT.



Being a 25 year old non-virgin girl and mature/ready to settle down aren't mutually exclusive.

A 25 yo girl with an ex-boyfriend or two has had age-appropriate dating experiences... which virtually guarantees she isn't a virgin.

Can you honestly say you'd be a virgin if a girl had agreed to date you in high school or college? Mr. Judgy McJuderson.

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Last edited by rdos on 18 Jun 2016, 6:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

You forgot one possibility: The asexual one's. While a few of these had sex "to fit in" or because "it's expected" most of them won't have a lot of experience. A few might even have become religious to escape the expectation of a lot of sexual experience.

Personally, I find a girl with a lot of sexual experience to be a big turn-off, and I wouldn't consider her for a relationship. Still, the OP doesn't appear to be asexual, so he is clearly expecting more than he should. If he isn't asexual or religious himself, he shouldn't be targeting such girls just because he never succeeded to get some sexual experience himself.

Asexual hadn't occurred to me. Good catch.

How can you tell if a girl (or guy, for that matter) has lots of sexual experience from their profile? I've always put "looking for a relationship" on my profile, screened out anybody looking for casual sex and never, ever seen an explicit reference to sexual experience (with the notable exception of the virgin for religious reasons thing).

You are right. Most people on a dating site won't talk about their sexual experience, so it clearly cannot be behind the problems of the OP (unless he specifically mentions this himself, which would not be very smart).

As for knowing about the sexual experience stuff. If somebody declares they are Christian, won't have sex until marriage, or that they are asexual in their profile, you know they don't have a lot of experience. Other than direct mentions like that, there is no way to know this on an online dating site. IRL, you can get an idea if somebody is asexual by advancing things slowly. This will scare away sexuals that won't get what they need.

A week isn't very long. Also is a an being a virgin so important to you? I wasn't a virgin when I met my boyfriend but he was and it worked out great. Also jus because your not a virgin doesn't mean your experienced.

Also assuming that all women are turned off by your inexperience is a bit of a generalisation. I know many women who don't even think about it when considering a partner.

I think I am going to give up on dating websites yet again. It is a same problem as I had years ago. Its about how I read and write, and how they see me from their different perspective. They kept ignoring my messages by I said something offensive to them. I have absolutely no idea what I was offensive. Nothing rude, nothing crude, nothing sexual, nothing attacking and nothing is bad.

I am having this terrible stigma of being an aspie male of being stereotyped by all women who doesn't want to date me. The words in text is most troublesome. I have to agree my aspie female friend here in my city after I told her I re joined these websites. She told me it not a good idea when you are being an aspie because you are easily judged, easily stereotyped and that.

I dont get it why women has to be so cruel and roadblocking my goals of my life? I always wanted to get married and be a father in my life. I can't see this is happening at all because I am in mid 20's and I get hate from women.

There's another quick, easy solution to that, but it's not free. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Not dating you doesn't make them cruel. Don't be so self-centered, man.

Well actually he can target whatever he wants. Even if he were Charlie Sheen and he only wanted to date virgins, that would still be his business.

I'm sorry to hear your having trouble. Would it be ok to see an example of one of the messages where the women have responded by saying you are being offensive? maybe we could help you understand the womens perspective?

I promise you the women arent being intentionally cruel, they just may not be looking for the same thing right now. I was on line for 2 years before i found the one. It takes patience and time. you could keep your dating accounts but not get too into online dating.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way but your messages here can come across as a bit pompous and condescending. I'm sure you don't intend that but I see how someone might think you are talking down to them. It's irrelevant anyway because in general, online dating is a cesspool, particularly the free sites.

Are you talking to me? If so that is really upsetting to be honest :'( :'( :'( :'(

All I want to do is help

I thought he was talking about Ecomatt and how he looks down on those who drink, prefers virgin women, christian women, and thinks women are 'bad' at choosing the right guys.