Women: What do you want to hear when a man approches you

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"ANOTHER SETTLEMENT NEEDS OUR HELP."

Ha ha, you could do that to get rid of guys in the street. "oh, you want my phone number? First you'll need to complete this questionnaire." Then pull out half a ream of paper with questions on it lol.

How many guys have you asked for coffee since then?

i don't care if a guy wants to comment on the way i look as long as it's genuine. i mean, i make comments about people's tattoos, hair styles, and articles of clothing if i have something interesting to say about them. but i wouldn't walk up to a guy and say

sexy jeans

while staring at his package and i would want the same amount of respect from someone else if they choose to comment on my looks. but i much prefer conversations to go below the surface even if they start on the surface.

also, context matters. if i'm walking down the sidewalk, going somewhere, i'm not trying to meet people. i've got places to be and things to think about. plus, it's usually of the catcall variety in this context. like just today when i was walking to work a guy said

hey gurl

to me so i said
hi, and smiled.

then he said, damn gurl you have a beautiful smile you should smile more often you know

and started like following me down the sidewalk a bit.

so i say thanks and turn away. it was probably the nicest way i've ever been approached by a man on the street but it still made me feel slightly uncomfortable. i also don't like when people tell me what i should do, especially if it has to do with smiling lol.

about the progression though, for example, a few days ago i went to buy a bottle of wine and the cashier had a super crazy septum piercing. so i commented on its design and he said thanks and that it was really meant to be a women's earring, then i noticed a tattoo of a devilish goat creature on his forearm so i commented on that too. turns out he's a tattoo artist and a painter, and since i'm an artist too we got to talking about art, he showed me a pic of a painting he'd just done so i showed him a pic of a metal piece i'm working on. then he said,

well i'm about to go on break, would you like to hang out with me while i have a cigarette?

so i said sure, and the convo went on from there, just talking about where we are both from and other similar interests. got his number too; we're gonna do a collaborative art project soon!

this is just an example of an A+ progression of conversation. the key here is a mutual interest and no unwanted sexual gestures or insinuations even though i could tell he thought i was attractive.

yeah i 100% agree with this. conversations that don't immediately jump to looking attractive shows me that the person respects me as a person, and makes me feel much more comfortable with the prospect of getting to know them further.

Well if we're keeping within the context of this thread, I don't ask out random guys I've just met. I'm more cautious. I tend to stick to people I've got a sense of by knowing them through activities or mutual friends.

And I'm not that fussed about not being asked out by strangers. It is a bit scary to meet up with someone you hardly know. I'm not completely averse to the idea, but it's not my favourite way to meet someone.

Last guy I had coffee with I had known for 10 years already. He suggested it, but I arranged when and where to meet. It was an Oddly mutual date. Long story short, it's amazing how you can know someone in passing for years, but not really know them. We talked about a lot of things we'd never discussed before.

Long story short before I bore you all, He's going out with someone else now anyway.

I'm not so keen on the idea of being approached in the street, but a conversation struck up in a place like a show or gallery or something we have in common seems more acceptable. I'm bad at remembering to ask for a phone number though. Try and get her number before you leave or you may never bump into each other again (oh wait, is Facebook or something people are more into these days than phone numbers)

"I'm a millionaire"

Jokes aside, really nice to see a thread like this.

My ideal woman would reply " I'll mark it on your map."

Bub, you have to have at least a billion these days.

It's no secret that Trump's yer man

Hardy har har.

Stop wasting time, you could have made few millions instead of posting on this thread.

Hi KimD, I really intended the asking about a hug part to be after a second date, or after the establishment of chemistry and mutual attraction. I probably jumped ahead in the post too quickly. I have had males assume that it was okay to attempt to touch/hug/kiss me in the past, and I, for one, would prefer to be asked first. I was also speaking as an Aspie female. I have know NT females who feel comfortable with a LOT more physical contact with someone they just met, if they think that they "click" with the person!

I know perhaps a half dozen women friends who hug all the guys in their friendzone--they are also happily married. As an Aspie it took a few years to get used to that--but that is the way it is around here...

Personally, I like meeting new people. Even if you don't get along well, you get new perspectives on things. And I'm not talking about dates only but in general. For example, it always surprises me how on various events people always tend to stay with with their group rather than mingle.