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Can't stop feeling empty without a girlfriend

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Marknis
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15 Aug 2016, 8:31 pm

13bunnyhop wrote:

I'm guessing you live in America? I'm from Australia which I am forever grateful for as there's a lot of diversity and acceptance here. I have no interest in jocks or guys who take more time getting ready/care more about their appearance than I do, I can't stand shallow superficial people nor hanging out at nightclubs. There's a whole indie underground scene here for people who go against the norm and it's like one big happy family.


I live in the Central Texas Bible Belt region. Outside of Austin and some of the other big cities, the whole area is a mess. You have roadkill as well as trash everywhere and the air stinks in a lot of places due to constant car use as well as constant drinking and smoking. Despite the people here claiming they have "family values" and "Christian morals", domestic violence, infidelity, and children born out of wedlock are a common sight here. It's also not against these people's faiths to indulge in vices since they justify it by saying "God will forgive me!" but you better not be of the LGBT community or practice another belief system or you will go straight to Hell. It's a very mentally unstable culture here.

Funnily enough, I have an Australian friend who lives about four hours from me. She came here due to getting involved with an American man and had a kid with him but they split up and she plans on moving back to Australia once her daughter is 18 so they can escape the religious idiocy of this area.



13bunnyhop
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15 Aug 2016, 8:35 pm

Ahhh don't you love when people claim to be Christian yet have some of the most judgmental approaches to humanity?



Marknis
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16 Aug 2016, 12:25 am

13bunnyhop wrote:
Ahhh don't you love when people claim to be Christian yet have some of the most judgmental approaches to humanity?


Naww, we ar gud Gawd feerin' fulks an' y'all ar uh bunch of commie luvin' libruhls wit ur fancy big wurds, book learnin', an' cumpewter jawbs! :wink:

(Wow, that actually hurt my head typing that out!)

But yeah, people like that put a bad taste in my mouth in regards to Christianity. It's especially rampant here in the Bible Belt. The people here actually think atheism is synonymous with Satanism. :roll: They also think Hindus are "muzlums" and they are taking over. It's ok for them to judge others but if anyone stands up to them, they'll respond with something like "How dare you say that about my faith!" or "Why don't you get out of my country?!?"

I grew up being told God had a plan for me and that I would meet a girl in college. When the depression kicked in, it shattered my faith in God and the girls in the community college I went to were no different than the ones in high school. They just ignored me and never made the first move, still waiting for the "bad boys" to sweep them off their feet.



13bunnyhop
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16 Aug 2016, 5:21 am

Marknis wrote:
13bunnyhop wrote:
Ahhh don't you love when people claim to be Christian yet have some of the most judgmental approaches to humanity?


Naww, we ar gud Gawd feerin' fulks an' y'all ar uh bunch of commie luvin' libruhls wit ur fancy big wurds, book learnin', an' cumpewter jawbs! :wink:

(Wow, that actually hurt my head typing that out!)

But yeah, people like that put a bad taste in my mouth in regards to Christianity. It's especially rampant here in the Bible Belt. The people here actually think atheism is synonymous with Satanism. :roll: They also think Hindus are "muzlums" and they are taking over. It's ok for them to judge others but if anyone stands up to them, they'll respond with something like "How dare you say that about my faith!" or "Why don't you get out of my country?!?"

I grew up being told God had a plan for me and that I would meet a girl in college. When the depression kicked in, it shattered my faith in God and the girls in the community college I went to were no different than the ones in high school. They just ignored me and never made the first move, still waiting for the "bad boys" to sweep them off their feet.


That hurt my head reading it! I grew up in a "Christian" household, if by Christian you mean abusive :P

Why do girls like "bad boys"? It's like they are setting themselves up to fail.



Marknis
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16 Aug 2016, 9:33 am

I still don't understand it and it's odd because I was told I needed to be a gentleman if I wanted a girlfriend. Even when I was told to be myself, it didn't work out. It was always the guys treating the girls poorly who had girlfriends. I remember them physically hazing girls in public spaces but while the girls would scream and shout, they would never try to get away from the jerks.



13bunnyhop
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16 Aug 2016, 7:51 pm

Ridiculous.

I've just left an abusive relationship myself and I have gotta say, there's no way I would stand for it. I mean, I'm a very tolerant person, but if a person has no insight into their behaviour or the impact it has on others, and thus has no interest in improving himself, then I won't waste my time.



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16 Aug 2016, 8:29 pm

Marknis wrote:
I still don't understand it and it's odd because I was told I needed to be a gentleman if I wanted a girlfriend. Even when I was told to be myself, it didn't work out. It was always the guys treating the girls poorly who had girlfriends. I remember them physically hazing girls in public spaces but while the girls would scream and shout, they would never try to get away from the jerks.


Unless you live in a really, really weird place, broaden your observational focus, and you'll see couple after couple where they guy is just an average schmoe. Not a jerk, not exactly mr nice, but pretty much alright.

There are far more non-jerks with girlfriends than there are jerks. Again, unless you live in a really, really weird place, which could well be the case.

...

Right, I just read back a bit further on your posts, and yeah, that's a f****d up place. My sympathies. Are you able to move? Come to north Wales. It's not terrible.


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Marknis
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17 Aug 2016, 2:56 pm

13bunnyhop wrote:
Ridiculous.

I've just left an abusive relationship myself and I have gotta say, there's no way I would stand for it. I mean, I'm a very tolerant person, but if a person has no insight into their behaviour or the impact it has on others, and thus has no interest in improving himself, then I won't waste my time.


Pretty much the male mindset in the Bible Belt. You better suppress your emotions since crying or being sad makes you a "p****", pump iron until your muscles burst, disregard any knowlede that isn't "da bibuhl" or "amurikan", live in a "man cave" (Sounds like the title of a gay porno :lol: ), eat only disgustingly fattening foods, drive like a maniac, listen to only pop country or "Fort Hood Metal", get in arguments over petty things, and punch others in the face instead of settling things peacefully. You also have to fit a certain mold to get women. You can't be skinny or fat unless you want to settle with a gross redneck woman, you better have a car, you better not live at home, you better have a high paying job, and you better be a "good Christian man" even if you hardly go to church.

Hopper wrote:

Unless you live in a really, really weird place, broaden your observational focus, and you'll see couple after couple where they guy is just an average schmoe. Not a jerk, not exactly mr nice, but pretty much alright.

There are far more non-jerks with girlfriends than there are jerks. Again, unless you live in a really, really weird place, which could well be the case.

...

Right, I just read back a bit further on your posts, and yeah, that's a f****d up place. My sympathies. Are you able to move? Come to north Wales. It's not terrible.


Not in the cards for me.



Marknis
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18 Aug 2016, 8:31 pm

Outrider wrote:
^Diversity? Acceptance? In Australia?

Unless you live in one of the major urban metropolitans with a high population density and high level of anonymity, it seems, for me at least, that many middle-aged and older here tend to be overly-conservative and old-fashioned, many of the youth are mind-numbingly stupid and more politically apathetic than they may lead-on, and both may be either racist, homophobic, and xenophobic, or over-aggressive, far-left.


Looks like every ex-British colony country has its own equivalent of the Bible Belt.



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21 Aug 2016, 10:52 am

It almost seems like any girl who looks really attractive already has a boyfriend. I remember once asking a pretty girl if I could have her number and she told me her boyfriend wouldn't like that. That's another thing I struggle with. I never know if a girl's single or not.



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21 Aug 2016, 10:49 pm

Marknis wrote:
It almost seems like any girl who looks really attractive already has a boyfriend. I remember once asking a pretty girl if I could have her number and she told me her boyfriend wouldn't like that. That's another thing I struggle with. I never know if a girl's single or not.

Single or not or age appropriate. It seems like every time I'm interested in a woman, she's in a relationship or 15+ years younger than I am.



WantToHaveALife
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24 Aug 2016, 7:10 pm

ya, thats why there are times i have wished the human mating dance is like how other animals do it



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24 Aug 2016, 7:12 pm

ya it's been eating me up inside for a while



Aspiegrrrl
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29 Aug 2016, 4:29 pm

Marknis wrote:
I still don't understand it and it's odd because I was told I needed to be a gentleman if I wanted a girlfriend. Even when I was told to be myself, it didn't work out. It was always the guys treating the girls poorly who had girlfriends. I remember them physically hazing girls in public spaces but while the girls would scream and shout, they would never try to get away from the jerks.


Is it possible that what you saw as hazing was actually mutual joking/teasing/sarcasm/fun?

Perhaps what you see as jerkiness was perceived by specific girls as a sense of humor (that clearly does not align with yours)?

If the girls were screaming and shouting to get away from abusive men in public, surely someone would have called the police.



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29 Aug 2016, 8:04 pm

I'll never understand people with a sense of humor like that.

I'll also never understand the one's that use a lot of mean-spirited sarcasm and direct insults.

Verbally and physically bullying and abusing your friends for fun is not just 'playful banter' and 'play fighting'.

I see a lot of young males do it too. They like to 'play fight' when sometimes it's outright punch-ups that actually hurt one another. But apparently it's all in 'good fun'.

When young men play sports or fight for fun, some pain is inevitable. But to the point the guy has bruises all over and/or can't get off the ground or is limping? Not funny.

Recently, I've been seeing videos on Youtube and Facebook of couples that 'prank' each other. Some are relatively harmless, but most are just unhealthy and abusive, from a woman trapping her husband's balls with a rat trap, to a guy tying his bed's mattress with his girlfriend still sleeping on it to a rope attached to his car then driving through the neighborhood streets. She even fell off onto the road.

I saw one by this guy who would keep giving his girlfriend wedgies, even in public places. Girlfriend or not, that's just sexual harassment mate if she didn't consent (which according to the videos she didn't).

The names of three of these 'pranksters' are Shammi, Brad Holmes and Julius Dein if you want to see what kind of idiotic rubbish they get up to.

"It's all fun until somebody gets hurt" simply doesn't apply to these psychopaths.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... t-car.html

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relati ... d76be238c0



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30 Aug 2016, 8:48 am

Outrider wrote:
I'll never understand people with a sense of humor like that.

I'll also never understand the one's that use a lot of mean-spirited sarcasm and direct insults.

Verbally and physically bullying and abusing your friends for fun is not just 'playful banter' and 'play fighting'.

I see a lot of young males do it too. They like to 'play fight' when sometimes it's outright punch-ups that actually hurt one another. But apparently it's all in 'good fun'.

When young men play sports or fight for fun, some pain is inevitable. But to the point the guy has bruises all over and/or can't get off the ground or is limping? Not funny.

Recently, I've been seeing videos on Youtube and Facebook of couples that 'prank' each other. Some are relatively harmless, but most are just unhealthy and abusive, from a woman trapping her husband's balls with a rat trap, to a guy tying his bed's mattress with his girlfriend still sleeping on it to a rope attached to his car then driving through the neighborhood streets. She even fell off onto the road.

I saw one by this guy who would keep giving his girlfriend wedgies, even in public places. Girlfriend or not, that's just sexual harassment mate if she didn't consent (which according to the videos she didn't).

The names of three of these 'pranksters' are Shammi, Brad Holmes and Julius Dein if you want to see what kind of idiotic rubbish they get up to.

"It's all fun until somebody gets hurt" simply doesn't apply to these psychopaths.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... t-car.html

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relati ... d76be238c0


Internet pranksters are like the guys on Jackass - sophomoric entertainers. That isn't real life, nor representative of what sane people do IRL. Or if it is, it's limited to the 1% of people who truly are psychopaths, who it's best to avoid dating (leaving you with the remaining 99% of humanity).

Not seeing the fun some others do in what seems like mean-spirited sarcasm among friends, well, to each his own.