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'Break' in a relationship

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Alliekit
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29 Sep 2016, 9:03 pm

somanyspoons wrote:
I live in the US. I really did think your bf lost 500 lbs of weight. I was SO confused. I mean, that's really nothing to get angry about. But whatever, right? You gotta let other people be themselves...lol

I'm glad you're feeling better - at least a little bit.


If he lost that much weight he'd be non existent hehehe. Nope I meant good ole British pounds :)

Weirdly it's the 3rd time this year someones tried to take money from his account.



sly279
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29 Sep 2016, 9:58 pm

Alliekit wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
This is important stuff, Alliekit. A County Court Judgement might prevent you folks from getting a mortgage on a house. It means you have bad credit. He has to be more financially responsible.

I'm definitely not perfect as far as debts go. I've had my share of screw-ups....but I learned my lesson.


Exactly that's why I reacted the way I did. In the next few years I wanted us to start saving for a house. I just don't want something he got before we meant to mess with our future.

To make things 10 times worse his brother made him take out the loan and then took the money and moved away leaving my fiance in the s***.


I see so would most women find debt to be a deal breaker ? :(



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30 Sep 2016, 2:48 am

((((Alliekit)))) yay on taking some time for yourself to calmly make peace with yourself and find what works for you best.

Sly, hun, no. DH was majorly in debt when we met. I didn't care. I just loved him. Over time getting finances in order can help to avoid major stress issues later. Believe me financial stress is such a trigger for more s**t.

But yeah, getting financial oversight asks lots from ones executive functions (which are affected in most ASD brains). Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.



Alliekit
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30 Sep 2016, 4:42 am

sly279 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
This is important stuff, Alliekit. A County Court Judgement might prevent you folks from getting a mortgage on a house. It means you have bad credit. He has to be more financially responsible.

I'm definitely not perfect as far as debts go. I've had my share of screw-ups....but I learned my lesson.


Exactly that's why I reacted the way I did. In the next few years I wanted us to start saving for a house. I just don't want something he got before we meant to mess with our future.

To make things 10 times worse his brother made him take out the loan and then took the money and moved away leaving my fiance in the s***.


I see so would most women find debt to be a deal breaker ? :(


He was in debt when we met so no. My issue wasn't the debt it was being sensible in paying it back regularly



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30 Sep 2016, 6:47 am

It seems like a slippery slope from a "break" to a breakup. If you're getting into arguments then maybe a bonding exercise will be of merit - do something fun together. Also, try your best not to let small disagreements spiral into big arguments.



sly279
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30 Sep 2016, 9:13 pm

Alliekit wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
This is important stuff, Alliekit. A County Court Judgement might prevent you folks from getting a mortgage on a house. It means you have bad credit. He has to be more financially responsible.

I'm definitely not perfect as far as debts go. I've had my share of screw-ups....but I learned my lesson.


Exactly that's why I reacted the way I did. In the next few years I wanted us to start saving for a house. I just don't want something he got before we meant to mess with our future.

To make things 10 times worse his brother made him take out the loan and then took the money and moved away leaving my fiance in the s***.


I see so would most women find debt to be a deal breaker ? :(


He was in debt when we met so no. My issue wasn't the debt it was being sensible in paying it back regularly


It's always worried me since I was 19 :(
I'm unable to pay it back at all.
Is that your cat?



Alliekit
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01 Oct 2016, 5:02 am

sly279 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
This is important stuff, Alliekit. A County Court Judgement might prevent you folks from getting a mortgage on a house. It means you have bad credit. He has to be more financially responsible.

I'm definitely not perfect as far as debts go. I've had my share of screw-ups....but I learned my lesson.


Exactly that's why I reacted the way I did. In the next few years I wanted us to start saving for a house. I just don't want something he got before we meant to mess with our future.

To make things 10 times worse his brother made him take out the loan and then took the money and moved away leaving my fiance in the s***.


I see so would most women find debt to be a deal breaker ? :(


He was in debt when we met so no. My issue wasn't the debt it was being sensible in paying it back regularly


It's always worried me since I was 19 :(
I'm unable to pay it back at all.
Is that your cat?


Yep he is called cream and he is a bit fat hehehe. He has a brother called cookie



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01 Oct 2016, 5:16 am

Alliekit wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Are you saying the guy lost 500 Pounds because he didn't want to follow up on it?

Or did he just lose the surcharge?

It's true: sometimes couples, when they are madly in love with each other, need to "take a break." I don't mean cheating at all. I just mean hanging out with other people, without hanging out with each other. No possibility of cheating outside the relationship.


The bank caught it so he didn't lose it. But he is paying off a loan at the moment and will miss a payment. Instead of ringing them to sort it out he is just putting them off. This is a loan that previously threatened court a year ago when he missed payments.



Your in the UK, so even if you just put 1 pound in the account each week they cant legally take you to court for none payment as you are still paying. A trick some people use that no many realise. :)



kraftiekortie
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01 Oct 2016, 6:37 am

Sly, get your credit report. The debt might not be on your credit report anymore. It's been over 7 years.

You still have the debt, but it might not be affecting your credit.



kraftiekortie
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01 Oct 2016, 6:39 am

You can't do this in the US. If you're not making some sort of minimum payment, they can still take you to court.



sly279
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01 Oct 2016, 12:34 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Sly, get your credit report. The debt might not be on your credit report anymore. It's been over 7 years.

You still have the debt, but it might not be affecting your credit.

It doesn't seem to. I have excellent credit score. Oh. O it dropped to good :s why I was at 770 now I'm at 744 is it cause I currently have bunch of charges on my card? That's only thing that's changed is my available credit went down

Apparently using more then 10% of your credit effects it and I'm currently using 13% cause we bought family's phones this month on my card.

They also saying my available balance is under 2,500 but it's not 0.o



kraftiekortie
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01 Oct 2016, 3:45 pm

It's possible the debtors are not pursuing you any more.