Have you had a successful relationship?

Page 3 of 4 [ 52 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,439

12 May 2007, 6:57 pm

The real problem is, that when you're in the
midst of a relationship, everything seems okay
(well, not always, but we'll leave that alone for
now). In addition to my marriage, I had one LTR
which seemed (at the time) to be successful. But,
I found out that there was a lot of deceit involved,
and it really wasn't very good, after the first year.

I had another LTR which I KNEW was hell, nonetheless,
it persisted - and I believed that we would always be
close. We were, until she died.

madscientist
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 7 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 193
Location: Across the 8th Dimension...

12 May 2007, 7:08 pm

I'd define a successful relationship as one which makes you happy for a nontrivial amount of time. That simple. True, when they end it can be sad and even painful, but the old cliche "better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" I think is true. There's nothing that can make you quite as happy or joyful as being in a close reciprocal relationship.

_________________
Scientia est Potentia

calandale
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,439

12 May 2007, 9:21 pm

madscientist wrote:

What then is non-trivial (in terms of time)? A moment can seem
like eternity.

I'm not even sure that the reciprocal issue is necessary.
Love is a wonderful feeling, and even if it is unrequited, it can be quite exhilarating.

OMGpenguin
Snowy Owl

Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 172

13 May 2007, 12:13 am

It doesn't really matter what the definition of sucessful is in this context; no.

TruenoBlues
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 813
Location: Oswego, IL

13 May 2007, 1:50 am

I've had one kinda work out, but it didn't mostly for distance.

_________________
Spring is the season when the hawks all start to fly, Well maybe when I die we'll trade places, I'll grow wings and I'll fly, Hey, Blue John, hey Blue John, Heyyy Bluuuue John, Can I Play with you?

Demonic_Duck
Snowy Owl

Joined: 26 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 151
Location: Herts, England

13 May 2007, 10:44 am

I put myself down as "other", but it really depends what you count as successful. I have had one relationship which was successful for a while, but after a while it turned a bit sour and we started to argue. So overall not a 100% successful relationship.

pbcoll
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Feb 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,892
Location: the City of Palaces

13 May 2007, 4:18 pm

madscientist wrote:

By this definition, I've had one succesful relationship.

_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)

El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)

I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).

RidgeRunner
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 6 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 27
Location: Hotdamnlanta

13 May 2007, 5:57 pm

My vote is no, but I am far from giving up, I'm only 27.

AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,000
Location: Portland, Oregon

17 May 2007, 7:03 pm

No.
I will probably have to wait until I graduate from HS or until my NT older sister finds a BF or a heterosexual partner to be with. There's also the religion barrier to go through since most of the girls who have attempted to ask me out are atheist or of other religions.

_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!

TruenoBlues
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 813
Location: Oswego, IL

17 May 2007, 10:46 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:

Just suck up your pride and date them. Religions are all made by humans, and therefore BS, but your relationship with your god isn't. Just remember that.

Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,008
Location: Houston, Texas

17 May 2007, 10:52 pm

I have had one successful relationship (lasted from 2002-2006), and I am working hard to find out what I have to do to have another successful one.

My definition of "successful" is: no cheating, and no other forms of manipulation whatsoever.

Tim

_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!

Now proficient in ChatGPT!

Raylynn
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 254

18 May 2007, 1:09 am

Tim_Tex wrote:

You will have to find someone you are interested in who wants to have a successful relationship with you as well. :wink:

That is all you have to "do" You shouldn't have to change yourself for someone. Not saying that this is what you are saying...just a random thought.

Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,008
Location: Houston, Texas

18 May 2007, 4:10 am

Raylynn wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

You will have to find someone you are interested in who wants to have a successful relationship with you as well. :wink:

That is all you have to "do" You shouldn't have to change yourself for someone. Not saying that this is what you are saying...just a random thought.

Thanks!

Tim

_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!

Now proficient in ChatGPT!

skahthic
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 May 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 837
Location: Florida

18 May 2007, 5:49 am

The one I am in now has thus far been successful. I have had relationships in the past, and seeing that I am not in them any longer I can safely say that they were NOT successful. One of them was abusive. One of them didn't "get" me. The others just didn't work.
I can be difficult to be with at times, but I feel I am truly easygoing compared with some people. I have my ways and they don't seem to change, nor do i want them to.
The man I am with now accepts me as I am and my quirks/differences. When I am persuing something he lets me be and I am grateful. He has his pursuits and things and I let him be then, too. It works for us because we don't question our likenesses/differences, we got into the relationship knowing about our likenesses/differences, and we respect each other without trying to change each other.

Ragtime
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Nov 2006
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,927
Location: Dallas, Texas

18 May 2007, 8:47 am

calandale wrote:

madscientist wrote:

calandale wrote:

I had a marriage which
was very happy for most of 12 years

Think about that for a minute. How many people are happy for "most of 12 years"?

I'd define that as successful under virtually any definition of the word.

Yeah. But now I have to live knowing that it's
unlikely to reach that kind of happiness again.

Still, it was worth it. Just wish MY life had ended
along with the relationship.

I hear that.

_________________
Christianity is different than Judaism only in people's minds -- not in the Bible.

Ragtime
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Nov 2006
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,927
Location: Dallas, Texas

18 May 2007, 8:52 am

TruenoBlues wrote:

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:

Just suck up your pride and date them. Religions are all made by humans, and therefore BS, but your relationship with your god isn't. Just remember that.

Well, you're human, so by the definition you gave, I have to apply your "BS" label to what you just wrote. Let's be consistent in our logic, okay? No doing so rattles my Aspie brain.

_________________
Christianity is different than Judaism only in people's minds -- not in the Bible.

Page 3 of 4 [ 52 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Jump to:

Have you had a successful relationship? Post Reply New Topic

Have you had a successful relationship?